I'm pretty sure my marriage is not going to last. At best I think we limp on a few more years. Life's not horrible. It's pretty good really and generally I am happy. I'm happy in my life but not in my marriage.
He's not the love of my life, we're not best friends. I'm fond of him sometimes, and sometimes so full of resentment I could cheerfully never see him again.
He's away for a few days and I won't miss him at all I never do.
It's not just love gone cold, over the years he has at times (frequently) treated me badly. It came to a head in the summer and I told him it was over. I had the chance to leave but didnt take it. He promised to change and to be honest he's done all I've asked.
He's changed his behaviour but he hasn't really changed as a person. I'm beginning to think that I've stopped loving him and there's no way back now.
Do I just be honest with him? Or do I keep my cards to my chest a bit longer? With the benefit of waiting being I'd be better off financially and kids (10 and 5) would be older.
I'd particularly like it if DS was old enough not to 'have' to see his dad if he didn't want to as they clash.
We have a family holiday booked in a few weeks which will be nice and we'll all enjoy it. But at the same time i'm not looking forward to the fact I have to keep up the pretence with DH that i'm in love with him.
Anyone been in a similar position? Any advice?