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Original poster

Ahhhh please advise me what to do with dp

42 replies

milliemops · 03/06/2018 15:26

Been in a relationship with dp for a few years. Great guy I'm very happy, I have dcs with exh he has none. We do not live together and although recently he has mentioned he would like to rent his house out and move in with me I have said no. He is self employed so can work anywhere with his phone and laptop. So will spend 2-3 nights at mine and the rest at his house.

Recently he has been mentioning more about moving in with me and I've said no, I am happy as I am (recently bought a house which he has helped moving and decorating). This is my dcs home and don't want to move another man in. I am happy for dp to stay a few nights a week but not live with us. (Also being careful if dp lives with and contributes towards the house he could have a future claim on my property)

I was at his house last week and knocked some post over when picking up one was dated about 6 months ago and is a notice of execution of possession order from his mortgage company. I didn't say anything and later googled his address and can see on Rightmove a sale date of 2 months ago. I am guessing but know nothing about repossessing that he has remortgaged his house to avoid the mortgage company taking it- can he do this??

I feel he has kept this from me and lied. I now think he wanted to move in with me so badly in a bid to sell his house? (Even though he remortgaged it before I moved into my new house month).

Obviously he will not be moving in at any point, do I confront him about this and say I'm upset he kept this from me.

Can he remortgage his house after a notice of execution of possession order or can they still take his house?

I'm very confused Confused

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 03/06/2018 15:28

You need to talk to him. If you've been together a few years, you should be able to be open about finances now.

If the mortgage company were repossessing; and it sold two months ago, I'd be surprised if he'd managed to hold onto it. Usually remortgages don't show on RightMove.

Original poster
milliemops · 03/06/2018 15:33

Thank you @AnchorDownDeepBreath I assumed it was remortgaged as he still lives there alone.

I've just looked and it seems remortgaged houses don't appear on rightmove unless a name has been added or removed from the title deeds.

I know I need to talk to him but then have to admit I read his post Blush

OP posts:
Melliegrantfirstlady · 03/06/2018 15:34

I doubt he could remortgage as the lender could see by his credit file that he was late with his repayments

Did you open the letter?

I thought if you were being repossessed then the document was hand delivered?

Melliegrantfirstlady · 03/06/2018 15:35

Is he bad with money? Why’s he in debt?

Are you certain he is working on his laptop?

redastherose · 03/06/2018 15:36

I would imagine that he has managed to sell the property before the bank formally completed the repossession. I doubt the remortgage story, it would be unlikely to get a mortgage having let yourself get into a situation where the existing bank were repossessing.

I think he's got himself into a situation where he's had to sell and will have little or no equity left to buy elsewhere so he's thought he could just move in with you and you would support him bail him out

He's clearly had money problems so you need to have an honest conversation with him and ask him to come clean and tell you what has happened and what he plans to do when the sale completes and he has to move out. Also make it clear that this conversation isn't about you bailing him out just wanting to understand what's been going on for him but that moving in is not an option.

Original poster
milliemops · 03/06/2018 15:38

@Melliegrantfirstlady the letter was opened and it looked like a solicitors letter on behalf of the mortgage company. It just said we act for mortgage company and enclose a notice of execution of possession order.

It then has a few sheets saying the mortgage company had applied to the courts for possession to go ahead in 14 days and he needed to get legal advise or visit citizens advise.

OP posts:
Original poster
milliemops · 03/06/2018 15:41

He is still living there and the letter was 6months ago and is showing a sale on rightmove 2 months ago so I don't understand.

We don't discuss money really, he's generous and although doesn't contribute to the house he will buy shopping, pay for days out etc and has a fairly nice car.

His company and his name are registered with company's house and he leaves work stuff lying about so I know he is working.

OP posts:
PoshPenny · 03/06/2018 15:42

I would imagine it's going to be repossessed at some point fairly soon and he's just trying to pave the way to move in with you rather than face up to the fact he needs to sort out somewhere to rent. You're definitely right not wanting him to move in anyway, in this situation I think it would be disastrous as he appears to not be good with money or facing up to his problems.

exhaustedpigeon12 · 03/06/2018 15:43

Is it possible he’s sold it to one of those dodgy companies where you can then rent it from them after the sale again? They buy at bargain prices and take advantage of those desperate to sell.

ivykaty44 · 03/06/2018 15:43

It’s deceptive to ask to move in with you but keep the reason why to himself. I could have a relationship with someone willing to deceive me.

SickofPeterRabbit · 03/06/2018 16:41

Why are you looking at his poster? I hate to be 'that' poster but even if a letter landed open side up I would make a conscious effort to look away whilst I picked it up. Out of respect for my DP? (If I had one!)

SickofPeterRabbit · 03/06/2018 16:41

Post

Original poster
milliemops · 03/06/2018 16:46

Well done @SickofPeterRabbit always got to have that one person on a thread who's high and mighty and above everyone else.

As I said it fell over and I was picking it up and putting it back together on the side, it was huge bloody letters in red you couldn't miss it!

OP posts:
PeppermintPasty · 03/06/2018 16:49

Log on to the Land Registry portal. You can obtain a copy of the title document to the house by typing in the address. Costs £3. This will tell you who the registered owner is. It will also show a registered charge (mortgage) if there is one.

SickofPeterRabbit · 03/06/2018 16:50

As I said, I wasn't trying to be anything! I'm just genuinely shocked that you looked! Bright red or not!
MN generally tends to encourage snooping however so I'm likely to be in the minority

Fattymcfaterson · 03/06/2018 16:50

Log on to the Land Registry portal. You can obtain a copy of the title document to the house by typing in the address. Costs £3. This will tell you who the registered owner is. It will also show a registered charge (mortgage) if there is one

Or you could just ask him

Badbadtromance · 03/06/2018 16:57

Could be that he went to the court hearing and agreed to sell the house by a certain date to clear arrears and mortgage debt. I wouldn't let him move in either

Oddcat · 03/06/2018 17:04

You're a better person than me SickofPeterRabbit !

frasier · 03/06/2018 17:04

Is the price reasonable for the area?

I bought a repossessed house once, the guy accepted my (good) offer and then stalled and stalled. My solicitor said if he wasn’t out by a certain date then pull out of the sale and the mortgage company would send it to auction and I may get it cheaper. That got him to finally move.

Maybe he’s doing the same?

Although unless contracts have been exchanged it would show as “Sold subject to...” or “Sold STC” or something on rightmove I think.

frasier · 03/06/2018 17:05

Meant to say, if it has been sold, contracts exchanged, what’s he doing there?

BlueJava · 03/06/2018 17:10

Can you just say you were looking at different houses on rightmove - and what's his details doing there? Take precautions to keeep your finances completely separate as well - at least until you are 100% confident of it being ok

Strawberrybelly · 03/06/2018 17:12

I would be very pissed off he tried to move in with you without telling you the truth.

gamerchick · 03/06/2018 17:14

You need to have the moving in conversation again when he brings it up again, which I would hazard a guess will be soon. Ask him why he's pushing the issue so much.

Chances are he'll try to force your hand by asking to stay at yours until he's sorted when he's finally put out of that house. It may be the end of your relationship if you don't want to progess things.

Original poster
milliemops · 03/06/2018 17:14

Thanks for all the advice.

It has a sale date of 2 months ago but no pictures of the inside of the house. Normally on rightmove this is when a house is being sold without an estate agent so never goes "on sale" or SSTC it just goes onto sold prices in the road. (My friend sold to a family member and this happened).

He's coming over later and I'm going to explain what happened at his house and that it's been playing on my mind and ask him to tell me what's happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
milliemops · 03/06/2018 17:17

All of our finances are separate.

I am being very cautious as been stung by exh who ran up huge debts in joint names and then cleared a joint account when we split up. I would never have joint finances with someone again.

OP posts:
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