I have gone off it and it's been a long time. Long time, but not as long as that.
I talked to my partner about it. I was the one who started the conversation when I noticed how I was feeling. I explained the reasons. I stressed and have have reassured that he had not done anything wrong and it was not his fault.
For me reasons are medication and a trauma playing on my mind. I am going to go to counselling because the trauma has to be dealt with as it is clear to me that I'm being bothered by it in many ways, not just this. I also spoke to my partner about going to counselling and he's supportive. It involves his relationship too, as well as my own world and mind, so of course I told him.
The counselling is something I want to do and I need to do it for me, but I do believe my partner and all the people in my life also deserve me happy and well. I also want to be happy and well!
I have wondered if my relationship with my partner has developed into something where the chemistry has evolved and that's why I'm not feeling that kind of attraction, but as I'm not sure if it's medication and or trauma messing with me, I'll try to understand this more in therapy. If I think it is a loss of chemistry, I would find a kind and gentle way to suggest we change the nature of our relationship but stay close friends. It isn't right for either of us to call ourselves something we are not and I wouldn't want to deny a partner a more suitable intimate relationship that made him happy.
My partner has been patient, he has gently tried to initiate something a couple of times, not excessively, and he has made a few gentle and definitely not malicious jokes about it being a while. I've asked him not to as this makes me more uncomfortable, I won't do anything if I feel close to pressured and mentioning it when we're not discussing it specifically in a way that is productive just makes me feel bad. Those reactions are all me however, not his fault. So I ask him not to but I would never dream of calling him names for any of that.
It's me who is not quite on track and he is being understanding and supportive, not unreasonable at all.
If I somehow came to the conclusion that I didn't want to be intimate with anyone (come on therapy, not the result we are going for, way too young!) and made the choice in a healthy way for myself, no factors other than just a personal choice, I would tell my partner that I didn't want that in my life for the foreseeable future. I wouldn't keep someone from a relationship with someone else that could be more fulfilling and suitable for them.
This sounds like a very different dynamic to the story here!
I go to yoga classes and the gym a lot, body confidence, increased energy, clear mind and endorphin rush - those things are all helpful to improve intimacy, if the underlying desire is there, they are not reasons for me!