Should I email this bookshop guy?

[TheFoodtheFadandtheFugly]

Yesterday, I popped into a bookshop in my nearby city that I had never been to before. I got chatting to the man who owns and runs it.

We got talking about the books when I asked him a question, and then again when I went to pay. We seemed to have some good interests in common and it was interesting talking to him. Then the phone for his shop rang, and I had to leave as I was en route to a meeting.

I have been wondering since if I should email the shop saying it was good meeting him, and if he would like to meet up? I am not usually a person who looks for this sort of thing in every casual encounter with someone nice! I came out of a relationship about eight months ago that petered out, so I haven't even been looking for anything consciously.

Would you message him? And what do I say - or is it too weird and stalkery?

I wouldn't email his place of work - has potential to be embarrassing for him and not very professional if his boss thinks he's chatting customers up! I would pop back in and see if you get chatting again. And you can check for a wedding ring at the same time...

Why not. You've nothing to lose. And if he lives somewhere that's not local to you, you won't bump into him randomly. I say do it!

Oh, sorry, just saw that he owns and runs it. I would still pop back in first though.

Are you an international film star?

He owns the shop though. No boss to answer to.

Very much agree with Greenfingers! Pop back in and try and get chatting again, you’ll know whether he’s interested or not. Good luck!

LARLARLAND Exactly what I was thinking when I read this! Haha

No, that is a bit creepy. Why don't you just go back and see if he still gets on as well with you, if so then maybe ask him for a coffee then.

Yeah, he owns and runs it - lives in the flat about the bookstore. He talked about moving out of where his parents live and coming over to this city. There was no wedding ring, and the last thing I want to do is cross any inappropriate boundaries or be disrespectful etc.

The email is firstname@nameofbookshop - or I wouldn't do it!

Popping in again might just be the better idea. I can do that if I am going past next week or so.

I am always of the mind that if he was interested at the time he would have asked you. If you still want to pursue him just make an excuse and pop back to browse books.

Here's an email I have drafted for you.

diagramfan

I am always of the mind that if he was interested at the time he would have asked you.

One. That's rubbish.
Two. He didn't even get a chance!

I think you should do it OP! I don't think it's that weird anymore everyone starts chatting through the internet or tinder or whatever.

"Hey bookshop man, it was nice chatting , sorry I had to run, would you maybe like to meet for coffee sometime?"
thefoodthefadandtheugly (buyer of Kamasutra for Dummies, and Taxidermy for Experts)

Don't make a big deal of it. If he liked you he's going to be chuffed you wrote. If he doesn't, he'll ignore.

Oh what the heck. You need never set foot in the place again if he doesn't respond.

I think visiting the shop again is a better idea than emailing. You'll be able to tell if he remembers you and is pleased to see you again.

Going back is going to cost her money again though and he is actually working so might not be the best time to try and make a move. It's a lot weirder if he breaks for a phone call and she just hangs around looking hopeful.

I think generally men don't have to second and third guess that the woman writing them is planning on cutting them up in a basement... so they just don't worry. They think, oh pretty lady asked me out. Sweet.

I agree about doing the shop visit again. Whatever you do though, go for it! These chances don't come along often. Good luck.

All that will happen if he says no is that you can’t go to the shop again.
I say go for it too.
Though I think perhaps go back in again. As an owner of a shop he will be naturally good chit chatting to randoms, so if he says no, don’t take it personally!

Bracketmacket But a bookshop is really easy to hang around in, browsing.

Bit premature isn't it?

He just had a conversation with a customer?

Thank you for your thoughts everyone. Good to have a range of answers!

I think I will wait until I happen to pop in again and chat. I won't go that way for a while so it will be as and when. Thanks again!

Emailing looks a bit desperate after one short conversation. Definitely pop in again. And again and probably again too 😁

Email him. As an owner it’s far too risky to ask you out.

My DH doesn't wear a ring, owns his own business. Client emailed him a long message about how wonderful he was, how she'd tried to get him out of her mind, but was taking a chance.

First he knew was when he walked into the office and it was pinned on the wall by one of the admin staff. So with that in mind, I'd probably go in person, you really don't know who has access to work emails!

I would definitely pop in again rather than emailing.