My mum left unexpectedly on 23/12/83 when I was 14. I’m the second youngest of four, my dad raised me, my 11 year old brother and my sister who was 21when mum left. My eldest sister was 23 and had already left home.
My dad was an amazing person, loved us unconditionally and was the very best dad you could ever want or need.
My mum was bipolar and life with her was always difficult. It felt like a massive weight had lifted when she left home. We had stability.
We kept in contact with my mum but if I’m honest she was never an integral part of our life, which in itself is very sad. We understood her illness more and more as we grew up but she was still a difficult person to love and be close to. she died in 2010. I feel sad for what I didn’t have with her ie. a close and loving relationship.
My dad did a great job of raising us, was our total rock. He was forced to retire at 65 due to the company he worked for going into liquidation. He quickly over a matter of a few weeks spiralled into a deep depression and ended up committing suicide. So out of character, so not my dad, he was the life and soul not someone who killed themself. I think he had always thrown himself into his family life and work was a massive part of his life. Without work he had to face up to things that I don’t believe he had really dealt with, failed marriage, years of living with someone with a serious mental illness, trying to raise four kids singly handed.
However tragic his life ended, he was brilliant, his death did not define him as a person, I miss him as much today as I did 25 years ago.
I never told anyone at school my mum had left over the Christmas holidays, I think I was scared of being different really.
I have tried with my own kids to be like my dad, love unconditionally and bring them stability. I hope I’ve done an ok job x