Advice please on this situation with new(ish) partner

[Lovemusic33]

Ok, so I have changed the details a little and maybe reversed the situation as I don’t want to be outed. I’m going to discribe a scenario and I want to know who’s BU.

Boyfriend loves motorbikes, loved them for ages, girlfriend has shown no interest in them but doesn’t mind boyfriend perusing his hobby.

Boyfriends motorbike breaks, he’s really upset, can’t attend his motorbike events (meet ups etc..), bikes going to take a while to fix due to waiting for parts and waiting for money.

Girlfriend randomly goes out and buys herself a bigger better bike, she posts photos of he lovely new expensive bike all over Fb and then she joins the local biker groups showing off her new bike.

Boyfriend feels like she’s rubbing his face in it as he’s stuck at home with no bike, I huge garage bill and she’s out on her new bike posting photos when she doesn’t even like bikes.

Has the boyfriend got a right to be pissed off? Girlfriend doesn’t see the problem and just thinks boyfriend is jealous.

He’s a knob. Let him pay to get yours fixed then dump him 😈

It was a private sell vet, I have got legal advice but nothing I can do unless I can prove the seller knew about the issue. It went half way home, about 40 miles from where I collected it. I was gutted. The garage is struggling to get the parts but hopefully it will be sorted next week. I’m now considering selling it on once it’s fixed as it’s caused me so much stress. Maybe I will go out and buy a fast motorbike?

Fatball I think that’s a good plan, I’m just worried he will ask for the money back when I dump him.

I’m tempted to show him this thread.

He’s coming over to get a few things he left here and talk.

You don;t need an excuse to end it Love if its what you want. What is keeping you from putting it in the fuck bucket??

This was your dream, one you saved for for years and he basically pissed all over that even though he knew yours was out of action. If he wanted to come to the VW meets and trips, wouldn't he be coming in your van?? And offering to pay for the repairs.....that is odd after such a short time together, would you do that for someone who I know you have been seeing for a few months but to all intents and purposes is a stranger? he is trying to tie you up to him. It felt odd to me when you said he wanted to announce everything on Facebook of you as a couple.

I think you just neede to woman up here, tell him straight you are not compatible and go have some summer avdentures in your VW (I would love a camper BTW....its a dream ;)

pudding I know, I’m finding it hard, I think I just want him to see that he’s wrong because I’m so upset and angry, I want him to understand why but I know he’s probably just a total cunt and he won’t get it.
When we were talking before we talked about him coming along, I bought a tent so the kids could sleep in that and us in the van. He says he bought the van so the kids could sleep in one and us in the other but I’m sure that wasn’t his original thought, he’s just trying to talk himself out of being a complete wanker.

On a side note, I love VW vans as well

Talk? Do you mean he's coming over to tell you that you are wrong to feel how you feel? And if you can't come up with a watertight defence then you have to stay with him?

Fuck that. "I've realised this isn't working for me. Nothing specific. I just can't see us lasting. It is over. Good luck for the future. Byeeee."

Oh my lord. How many women have wasted so much energy trying to get a dickhead to realise he is being a dickhead? He won't ever realise. He will think you were unreasonable until the day he dies. He will tell anyone who will listen about his crazy ex. Because he is a dickhead. That's how they are!

Don't try to argue with a dickhead. It changes nothing except to trap you longer and make you angrier. Back away asap letting bask in his superiority and knowledge of your shitness. You are free then, so it matter not.

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll only get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll only get dirty and the pig will enjoy it

Brilliant

Trinity I think a part of it was to impress me but obviously he didn’t think it through, I’m not the type that’s impressed by a car/van unless it’s my own. He said he was going to sell his bike because I don’t like bikes but he hasn’t sold it. I never asked him to sell it and wouldn’t make him, I told him just to not tell me when he’s on it as they scare the shit out of me.

I know your right, trying to lady up. Not looking forward to him coming over. I think the only thing that will make this better is if I take a hammer to his van 🤣 he’s going to look like a right prick in it anyway.

Don't let this ruin it for you. Once it's fixed, do the things you were planning with it.

I could order him a sticker to go on the back saying ‘cunt on board’?

You've posted about him before, haven't you?

It's such early days - it shouldn't be this hard. Dump him.

Apart from anything else, your view of money is polar opposite and that doesn't bode well for the future.

Early on with ex I had a similar situation and ignored my instincts but years later it became clear it was one upmanship all the time.He would have plausible explanations but it never sat right with me.

Ex is a narcisst, he clones who he is and then has to have power over people.A partner is not allowed to be equal.

There is zero point trying to explain, he won't get it plus you will bw labelled crazy, jealous and controlling.

He took out a loan for a hobby!!!!!??!?!

I'd have a massive problem with that.

He sounds a bit like my ex. Taking your idea and instead of doing it together trying to steal the show. He should have wanted to do this together. Does he do things like tgis more often?

You were daft not to have a professional look it over before buying it. That isn't his fault.

But yes, it does sound like he's trying to get one up on you. Which makes him a bit of a tool. And doubly so if he had to get out a massive loan to do it.

Is there any chance that he did this as some sort of gesture FOR you that has gone horribly wrong? Like your van wasn't working so he thought he would get one for you both/show some interest?

He’s a twat. Dump him & do up your lovely Van. Freedom for you & the DD’s, don’t let this spoil it for you! The Van needs you! 🚐

crisp this is what he is saying. He thought I would be happy that he was showing a interest and thought buying a van was a great idea. Problem be g that he didn't think about it much at all, just got a idea and acted on it within 24 hours.

I don't know how I feel about it. He has said he will do anything to put it right. We have talked but I haven't forgiven him, I'm not sure if I can. For now I'm contemplating the 'let him pay for the repairs and then dump him' 😁

We have talked a lot and I have sent him to get me food whilst I think. Problem is I have had a few drinks and I'm probs my not thinking straight so I might need to rethink it tomorrow.

He has said that he has spent so long on his own (9 years) that he has become used to putting himself first. I told him that that's a shit excuse.

Gotto I'm not happy that he took out a loan. He did want a van to use for work, at the moment he has a pick up which is on lease, he says paying the loans will be less than what he's paying to lease the car. I'm one of those who says 'if you can't afford something then you can't have it' so loans make me feel uneasy.