Hi I’m new this but always read posts on here. I thought I’d share something that is worrying me so me.
Married for 3 yr two school aged children. Dh got promoted from tools to office less than a yr ago. There was occasional travel for him at the beginning but over the last six months this has become a very regular thing he use to go on Monday morning early but started going Sunday evening. He would go anything between 2-4 days at least once or twice a month. The one day he was away I’d had a car accident after school a dog ran out in front me it was an awful experience I was very Shaken I called him around 9.30am, 9.50am and 10.05am I never got a response and he didn’t return the call til 6pm! He told me his phone was in his bag.
There were a couple of other times when I’d ring and he’d say he was in a meeting - while working away at a different development he would not need to be in a meeting. His there to Train people.
We would have the same routine while he was gone he’d text to say how’s everything then he’d say il call you after dinner. When we spoke it was pretty much all me doing the talking he was so switched off, he would then text to apologise for not been talkative (fine once but this was all the time) the most recent time he was so quiet on the phone I actually felt something was wrong! I spoke to him about this when he would come home with the usual headache, tired he would even go sleep when he got back. He said it’s lonely and boring and that he hated staying away from home.
Well this is where it got strange he wasn’t home 24hrs from the usual trip when we was out one morning together when he looked at his work phone and said “oh I’m back off again Monday (bank holiday) til Thursday” I said I wasn’t happy you’ve just come back and now your going again. Don’t know what he’d arranged with a colleagues but he came home from work the following day saying the course was cancelled he didn’t need to go til Wednesday morning just for one night. I was relieved and after discussing with my sis I arranged childcare for my kids and decided to accompany him for that one night, I thought it was a lovely surprise and couldn’t wait to tell him. When I did he stared out the window of the kitchen thinking I asked what he was doing he said I’m trying to work out how we can do this! I said what do you mean he said I wouldn’t be able to check in without him, but there’s a lovely village so I’d be ok to stroll around there til he finished. He then said ok great I might change the hotel he always stayed at the same hotel very time but now he wanted to change it as there wasn’t a swimming pool at his usual one.
Anyway as the week went on my daughter got a temp I decided I wouldn’t be able to go and I told him I’d come next time he said ok. Then the following day he came home and told me he didn’t need to go over night anymore. He told me they emailed the cancellation I told him this is too strange he got defensive and said I’m gona prove it in a cocky manner he looked for the email on his work phone but it wasn’t there then he said it automatically goes into junk then deletes, he said it will be in my laptop. He always bought his work bag into the house but the following day he didn’t same the day after. Then when I said in convo you never did show me that email I’m curious cos I’d hate it if you just didn’t want me coming Cos your enjoying a few days piece cos that’s the feeling I got. Took him 40 mins of searching his laptop for an email he slammed it shut and said I’m obviously lying cos it’s not in here!
We’ve been together 13 years we’re a young couple. He has been away on his training years ago when we had our first baby he was gone all week and back weekends and I can honestly say during those 2 yrs I never for one second thought any thing like what I think now. I am extremely trusting and open in our relationship. He is attentive but shy with people he don’t know. One thing that’s odd is whenever this one work mate rings my dh says “wife’s here mate”!
He will regularly buy me a gift usually after his been away.
My instincts tell me his lying about something or keeping something from me. Yes I’ve trued talking it usually ends In a row cos he gets all difficult and then I get mad with him cos his putting up a wall.
Any opinions?