Would you ever tell them you want them back?

[arghihatethis]

I moved on, didn't work out. He was devastated but eventually has found someone and things are getting serious.

I've now realised I still love him.

We're married with DC.

Would you ever tell him? Or just stay quiet?

[MeMyShelfandIkea]

I'd say your feelings are almost certainly because he has someone else now. You would have had a script in your head about how your separation would pan out - you'd split up, you'd find peace/contentment possibly with someone else), he'd probably find someone else too but by then you'll be strong enough/happy enough to be okay about it, and you all live your lives safe in the knowledge that your decision to separate was best for everyone. He's unknowingly thrown a spanner in the works by moving on before you're emotionally ready for it (because clearly you were okay about it only whilst you assumed they would split up soon).

Btw I'm not saying any of this "script" was conscious/premeditated on your part, you just would have envisioned a particular future for yourselves when you took the decision to separate and it's unsettling when things pan out according to somebody else's timetable. It's also scary to suddenly realise the decision be apart is no longer owned entirely by you (not that it ever was really, but it would have felt that way all the time you knew he wanted to reconcile).

It sounds like you had very good reasons for separating from him and nothing else has changed other than his new relationship. Remember you're also seeing their honeymoon phase. He'll probably revert to type if you got back with him.

[SandyY2K]

Someone famous once said a sure way of getting your wife's attention, is showing interest in another woman.

[RussianBluee]

Youre still married. Yes tell him.

[Myheartbelongsto]

So you left had your fun and it didn't work out and now you want him back.

Leave him alone. If he wanted you he would let you know surely.

You sound a bit selfish to be honest.

[Bluesue26]

I read about this study once. It involved 2 cookie jars and where one was filled with cookies and the other jar only had a few in it. People were encouraged to help themselves to them. Most people went to the jar that had the least cookies in because they assumed that they were the better tasting ones - even though they were exactly the same. My point is that we assume that someone or something is more desirable because others want it when the truth is it's the same as it's always been. It sends us into a bit of a panic and makes us question our feelings. I've been there. I've split with partners then the minute I've heard about them being with someone else it makes me doubt my decision. Leave him to get on with things.

[Nellia]

You are still legally married so just ask him if he has any doubts about formalising it and see where the conversation goes.
Just be certain you know what you want and how you will cope with dignity if it doesnt go your way.

[m0vinf0rward]

Stop messing with the poor guys head and leave it alone. He's happy now so why do you think you want to mess things up for him?

[Pandora79]

I think it would be really shitty of you to do this. And could backfire spectacularly.

It seems you dated and had fun. Nothing has worked out long term for you. He took longer to get there and now he seems happy you want to throw a spanner in the works and try to get him back. It's like you had fun, but want what you can't have.

It could end up with him telling you he doesn't want you, it damaging your coparenting and put strain on his relationship.

It could end up with you getting back together. But you will almost certainly split again.

Leave him alone and let him be happy.