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Relationships

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Original poster

I feel really bad for Meghan, that her ONLY family member at her and Harry's wedding was her mother. :(

75 replies

pennylulu · 20/05/2018 23:09

It genuinely made me feel quite sad for her. 100's of people she barely knew at that wedding, a few co-stars, and all of Harry's family. I know they're not perfect, but some of them get on well, and Harry seems to get on well with them all. And they were all there.

But Meghan..... the ONLY family member there was her mother. And she looked quite emotional and a little sad to me. Maybe she was overwhelmed that her daughter was getting married, but she must have felt it, that she was the only member of Meghan's family there. Meghan must have too IMO.........

I know it's probably more common than some people think, but am I alone in thinking having ONE family member at your wedding is incredibly sad?

I don't mean that in a critical or negative way, and I don't mean to be condescending, I genuinely feel a bit sad for Meghan. I mean, I know she is probably going to be OK, and the Royal family seem to be welcoming her, (and she is now part of them,) but she must feel it deep down.

What are peoples opinions on this? And does anyone else have any experience that is similar? (Having hardly anyone from your family at your wedding, like only 1 to 3 family members?) And how did you feel about it?

OP posts:

drearydeardre · 21/05/2018 07:17

It is patronising to feel sorry for Doria - I understand her brother was there (although not sitting by her. )
She was with Meghan's father for about 6 years.

flapsicle · 21/05/2018 07:22

I only had my mum at my wedding.

My father left home when I was two, I had sporadic contact with him until I was four when he stopped visiting. I have no brothers or sisters. My father has two brothers (neither have any children) and my mum is an only child, so I have no cousins. My mum’s parents died before I was born, and growing up I never knew my dad’s parents, so no grandparents.

DH’s family is quite small too, we had 5 guests at our wedding.

MassivePottedGeranium · 21/05/2018 07:25

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3254200-i-wrote-this-for-every-single-divorced-mum

This thread puts a different spin on the situation.

FleurDelacoeur · 21/05/2018 07:30

quality is far more important than quantity.

This is so true. Meghan obviously doesn't get on with her half-siblings as if she did, they would be there.

I have one sister and my parents as my family (not counting DH and the kids). Grandparents all long dead. Haven't seen uncles, aunts and cousins for decades. DH has a much bigger family - his Dad is one of 3 and his mum one of 5 - and there are dozens of cousins. But they're not close either.

Anniegetyourgun · 21/05/2018 07:35

(a) Whatever else you may say about the Royal Family, protocol is not only vital but pretty much what they are all about. If it is the right thing to allow the bride's mother to invite a companion you can bet your bottom dollar she had that choice.

(b) Sitting alone during the ceremony may have been a pleasure rather than a chore for her. You can hardly chat and stuff during the ceremony anyway. Plenty of opportunity for that before and after. The one thing I'm sure would not have made her more comfortable is if her ex-husband had made it to the wedding and they had been seated together. Ugh!

(c) It's a little... what shall I say... elitist? anti-elitist?... to think that because the likes of Oprah and the Clooneys are rich and famous, that they cannot also have - and be - friends. It was reported that Doria visited Oprah last week and there was much screeching that she was going to go on the talk show (like that is, in itself, a disgusting thing to do; surely it depends what you say!). But they may only have been discussing arrangements for the event they were both going to attend. I don't live in rarified circles so maybe I don't understand how it works, but it seems to me that people who aren't terribly rich and famous may sometimes hang out with people who are, because they just like each other. It's a bit sad if they can't.

DrEustaciaBenson · 21/05/2018 07:49

Sitting alone during the ceremony may have been a pleasure rather than a chore for her.

I was thinking this. No friend, however close, could be as emotionally involved as Doria was. Being alone, she could take it all in without having anyone asking if she was all right if she cried a bit, or speaking when she wanted to be quiet.

Wellhellooo · 21/05/2018 07:51

Yes Harry’s comment about the family she never had felt insulting at the time but now makes sense.

ShatnersBassoon · 21/05/2018 08:00

It would have been the same at our wedding if we'd have gone down the traditional route.

I really empathised with Meghan, and I had complete admiration for her mother; very dignified and not afraid to deal with the scrutiny to support her daughter.

LittleCandle · 21/05/2018 08:17

I was matron of honour at my friend's wedding and the only guests were my mother and 13 month old DD. Her family were not interested enough to attend. It was one of the most moving ceremonies I have ever had the pleasure of attending. No music at all, just us in the church with the minister.

DD2 is planning a wedding to exclude family members, specifically her father and sister. Her wedding, her choice.

None of us know the ins and outs of why Doria was sitting alone, or why Oprah was there. It is not going to be explained to us and why should it be? It was their wedding and they had it the way they wanted.

Mousefunky · 21/05/2018 09:44

The man she loves was there with her. Some people have intimate weddings with just the two of them. I’m sure she didn’t feel too sad about it, it was a lovely day.

Her family seem dysfunctional at best. Her mother is the only sensible and graceful one by the sounds of it.

MissEliza · 21/05/2018 10:26

She looks a strong and dignified woman but I do feel sorry for her that she had nobody to share the occasion with. Apparently she and Meghan are close. I hope that continues and she's not marginalised, especially when the grand babies come along.

MissEliza · 21/05/2018 10:32

Yes agree. At the time I thought his comment was arrogant but obviously there's a story there (which is not our business obviously).

Shambu · 21/05/2018 10:36

I would happily not invite anyone but my parents to my wedding, never been a close family and my uncle refused to speak to my father for 15 years. But I have a sister I'm really close to, it's a shame Meghan doesn't have a sibling. She had quite a few close friends there though.

BusterTheBulldog · 21/05/2018 10:51

I only had my parents at my wedding. No other family on my side but lots of friends. It was fine!

CookPassBabtridge · 21/05/2018 11:13

I come from a large-ish family including extended. But not seen extended for years and years due to fallouts by my mum. So that leaves immediate family. Dad is dead, mum is disabled with agorophobia so would be hit and miss whether she would come. Oldest brother wouldn't come if mum or other brother came as he is taking her to court over something.
Only guaranteed family guest: one of my brothers

And through no fault of my own! I have good relationships with everyone. Just family fallouts that have nothing to do with me. It's very common sadly and quite depressing to think about. Thankfully DPs family are lovely!

MissEliza · 21/05/2018 11:58

Does anyone actually have a family where everyone gets on? There's some kind of dysfunction in every extended family. The Royals seem to get along because they have to appear to stick together but behind the scenes they really don't.

WannaBeWonderWoman · 21/05/2018 12:09

Bit odd that her mother didn't have a partner or close relative to attend with her as support on what must have a completely out of comfort zone experience!

Original poster

pennylulu · 21/05/2018 13:37

@mindutopia

My mum was my only family member at my wedding and it was wonderful. I didn’t even think to feel sad about that. My dad died many years before as had grandparents, etc. I only have one half brother (who is 16 years older than me and an arse). I haven’t spoken to him in nearly 20 years.

My aunts and uncles I also don’t speak to anymore. Some I was never close to and only ever met a few times. Others I had a falling out with over how cruel they were to my grandparents when they were ill and dying and have never spoken to them since. My mum is the only biological family I have (other than my children now) and while it’s sad all the others are so shit

I have no regrets about not having them around and certainly was grateful they weren’t at my wedding. I’m lucky to have good friends including lots of older friends of my mum’s who have been like aunties to me and my dh has a lovely big family. I suspect it was just how she wanted it so I wouldn’t feel bad for her.

Very good post, and I don't think you are alone in this situation.

@jessicajonesjacket

Part of the reason Harry has a close relationship with his aunts, uncles, cousins, etc is that protocol dictates they do invite everyone to every big event. Meghan obviously doesn't subscribe to that view.

Good point. Yes the royals DO all have to be at every event, so that is why every one is always there.

@Genderwitched

I also think that her natural expression is rather wistful which contributed to people seeming to feel sorry for her. I think it's rather patronising.

@drearydeardre

It is patronising to feel sorry for Doria.

Don't be daft. Of course it's not patronising to feel a bit sorry for someone who you think looks a bit lonely. Its called being empathic and caring.

@nNina22

This was Meghan’s second wedding, some say third,

It was her SECOND wedding. You can't just make stuff up to suit your agenda you know.

Lots of interesting posts on this thread, and it seems Meghan's situation is not rare.

OP posts:

nNina22 · 21/05/2018 16:05

This was Meghan’s second wedding, some say third,

Pennylulu said 'It was her SECOND wedding. You can't just make stuff up to suit your agenda you know'

Do you have to be so rude ? I haven't made it up. There are reports that she had a previous (first) marriage which was subsequently annulled. I don't know whether the reports are true but google it and judge for yourself

RachelTeeth · 21/05/2018 18:05

‘The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’, we choose our own family. I had three people I’m related to at my wedding and it was purely out of obligation. Being around toxic and abusive people simply because they share some genes with you is unnecessary, it’s a big burden off your shoulders when you cut the trash out of your life and can finally breathe.

MissEliza · 21/05/2018 18:11

I've just googled it Nina and the only result I got for a third marriage was a thread in MN.

hoopyloop2016 · 21/05/2018 18:20

When I get married it will be my children and my mum no one else from my side of the family and I didn't want to get married because of this but now I am not bothard.

MollyDaydream · 21/05/2018 18:33

MM is a 36 year old woman with her own successful career and has been married before - I don't for a second believe she had anything but the wedding she wanted.

isthisspring · 21/05/2018 22:02

My DH only had two family members at our wedding, he had lots of friends though. Families come in all shapes and sizes.

stressedandskint · 23/05/2018 07:38

If I got married, there would only be my daughter there from my family as I don't have any family left. Only child, both parents died, so did grandparents, mum was an only child and dad didn't keep in touch with his siblings apart from one brother who also died. So yep, just me and my daughter as I'm a single parent.

It upsets me to think that if I ever got married, other people would pity me and feel sorry for me having no family

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