What is the biggest threat to your relationship? Mine is...

[interuptus]

That I find it really challenging being a step mother on so many levels. I have some days where it feels like it would be easier if I left. I imagine fantasise about what life would be like without the constant gnawing irritations of pleasing DSD, her mum, my DH and everyonr around our situation.
I know that I just feel like this cyclically and there is let up here and there but I think if there was one thing that threatens our longevity as a couple it's this. Maybe that's just a sign to work harder in this particular area.

It isn’t YOU that is the issue, it’s the situation: your DH having had DC with his ex and all the challenges of step parenting.

Don't really have one I don't think. That's not a boast, we just seem to be a good team.

In my last relationship it was the internet.

Not any site in particular, he wasn't trawling through dating sites or porn, he just spent SO LONG sitting on it that it became his surrogate friend and, eventually, partner.

He could see all of life happening out there (enhanced, usually, in the case of Facebook) and he decided it should be happening to him. So he left.

In my current relationship, probably that he likes big dogs and I've got terriers...

His snoring

DP's shithead mate Derek.

But somehow DP kind of hero worships him and can't seem to see the flaws. Although has apologised a few times for this bloke's behaviour.

It's not just me, every female in his group detests him.

Have you spoken to him about this op, You are better off speaking about it than keeping it hidden, He might be able to help you with how you feel.

Old age.
It sucks...when we think we are still teenagers inside

Dysfunctional communication.

We were both, well, not really actively unhappy, but vaguely bored and dissatisfied, we were not able so speak about it, he had an affair and then left for another OW.

smeaton Best advice ever, thank you - you should go over to the step parenting boards and shout this from the roof tops! I don't get involved as such but I really think that DSD (now 12) has PDA and this acting out all the time is very tiring I feel that DSD and both parents enable her to control everything and it's very suffocating.
I wouldn't mind if DSDs mum and my DH would acknowledge that there's something underlying her behaviours but instead they just bend over backwards to accommodate her need for control. They might not mind being controlled by her but me and my DD do so I end up just taking DD out every time DSD is with us. Not ideal.

We have a very different idea of how to balance family life with earning money. DP would take any job that gave him a big salary rise regardless of its negative effect on family life. I think that there are things that simply aren't worth it (for example, long stretches of working away from home).

However, its also probably never doing to happen and I have agreed that in the unlikely event that it did happen, I would try it for a year.

Our fundamental disagreement over where to live - both foreign, met in London, live in a (to my mind, wonderful) corner of SE London. I think it’s perfect. He thinks it’s an overrated shithole with disingenuous locals, ineffective government and woeful amenities, and is waiting for me to show the slightest interest in moving to Austria/Holland/Russia (where he’s from). Not sure how we can ever resolve it.

His ex. She’s one of those that will stop him seeing his kids for no good reason. That said she’s been ok lately but I can’t help worrying that something else will set her off.

My parents.

PILs effectively live for their children, basically sacrificing anything of their own (save a couple of unintrusive interests, and a shrinking group of friends). They help with our children after school on pretty much a daily basis, and we see them most weekends at least once. If they don't come on holiday with us, they don't go on holiday.

My parents are very independent people, who have a very active social life, several holidays a year etc. They raised my sister and me to be the same. That said, if we ever need anything, they are generally there.

Though there's only about 10 years age difference between them, DPs and PILs are basically from a different generation to each other.

DW really struggles with the difference in approach, and has a tendency to interpret it as my DPs not caring.

She takes it so personally that she basically won't see them anymore.

I don't see them as often as I'd like, in order that we don't constantly argue about it. It feels like this will reach a head at some point.

We come from different sides of the Atlantic. We're settled comfortably for now, but it will always be a pain point that we can't both be close to our families. If anything it will only get worse as our parents age and need more support.

Unfortunately, there's no compromise possible on this one! We just have to suck it up and be gentle with one another.

Would love to hear advice from anyone in a similar situation!

The biggest threat to our relationship is me! I couldn’t live with me

DD leaving home.

Me and DP got together in very, very strange circumstances.

I was DP's fuck buddy when we were teenagers. I thought it was more than that but DP very much didn't. I fell pregnant. I told DP but he avoided me like the plague.

A couple of months before I was due to give birth, DP got sent to prison for six years. While he was in prison, I lived in a grotty high-rise surrounded by scumbags.

In prison, DP had some kind of epiphany and decided to turn his life around. He started to write to me and take an interest in DD.
When he got out, he asked me to move in with him and try and become a family. We did and it's been great.

However, as DD leaving home becomes more of a reality, I'm left wondering what's actually holding me and DP together. We've grown to love each other but not in a "husband-wife" way. We're both still young enough to start a whole new life and I do wonder if that's what DP might do once DD is independent.

The ex wife, and sometimes (prepares for flaming) the oldest dss, although I know logically it isn't his fault.

He has been poisoned by his mother and thus feels like he has to be on her side. And this causes problems, like when I ask him to stop standing on the sofa I'm shouting and picking on him. Like when I cook something I deliberately do something he hates, that he's never tried before and know he hates. Exhausting.

DP is a wet blanket where partner is concerned.

Me being untidy and him being borderline OCD in the neatness stakes.

Which leads to him not understanding how I don't see dirt/dust and thinking I'm taking the piss out of him.

Our lack of sex life. I'm almost ready to leave the relationship. I've tried everything for him to find me diserable but all my efforts are wasted.

I am a 38M married to woman for 15 years. We have two young kids (under 5). For a number of reasons we became complacent with each other and sex and intimacy diminished making us each grow resentful and unhappy. Over the past year my wife has developed close friendships with the other moms from our kids school. One of these friends (who is also married to a man) started sending my wife sexually themed test messages that were joking and playful and nature. Whether it was her friends intention or not these texts got her thinking about being with another woman (her friend in particular). She has been completely honest with me as far as I can tell about her thoughts and feelings so there is no deception or lying going on. She asked me if she could continue with the "sexy texting" which I admit turned me on. This revelation has shocked out world and is very exciting, but also scary to know the emotional space I once occupied alone is now shared with someone else. Should I be worried about this? Is there anybody else in the same boat? For this who have, any advise? I am sure I left out some details so if you have any questions please ask

Dp's habit of avoiding anything remotely challenging and pretending it isn't happening whilst burying his head in his phone. As a result his parenting has been very permissive and now he and my dss are moving out as dss can't be trusted not to sell weed or pull his weight around the house. I can't wait, I just want my own space back. And believe it or not I do actually love them very much.

drifting, you need to start a new thread for your question, not randomly post in the middle of a thread about something else entirely. Think of a title, copy & paste, job done. PS if it's titillating replies you're after, I wouldn't bother.

Alcohol. DH just won't give it up. He won't recognise he has a drinking problem.