Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

37 weeks pregnant and DS of 7 years - had to leave partner just need a friend please

39 replies

Itiswhatitis101 · 20/05/2018 00:11

I don't know what to say or why I am here at all pestering you all. Tonight I've left my partner after a not too long relationship of just under a year after the final straw. My DS had a fall while dp was watching football in the pub with my family member he cut his chin and I was worried as I didn't see the fall but heard the bang and wanted to get it checked out in A&E. Told dp not to come until after football because we would be waiting for hours and hours he said he wasn't pissed but actually when he arrived and after 4 pints apparently he was deffo pissed. Anyway he embarrassed me so badly in the waiting room, f ing and blinding very loudly, saying it's a fucking scratch waste of my fucking time etc etc very loud, annoying ds being overly loud to him when ds got bored anyway DS got seen is ok glued and stripped back together. On the way out of hospital he starts being mouthy to a copper in front of ds I could of died of embarrassment. Anyhow got home finally tried to order pizza for dp as poor love had no tea dp starts mouthing off and spits in my face and slaps me in front of ds. I've kicked him out. I'm done. I'm 25. I had my ds very young and did it alone from 4 weeks of age, I was adamant I was having no more kids until he convinced me to have one little did I know it was a control thing to squash me under his radar, I'm not allowed friends, I'm isolated from mum and sister and dad, I am not allowed Facebook, I can't even look in direction of a man without hours of constant nasty from him saying I want said other man etc.

He's 31. I've never been so embarrassed as I was tonight with him. I've never felt such a failure to my ds who witnessed his mum being slapped and spat on and fetched me a tea towel and a cuddle. In 3 weeks time baby number 2 comes a little girl who's been created on false promises and bullshit and to top it all off he's left me financially unstable for a good month and abit.

I'm sorry I ranted and I haven't even told you half.
Sorry. Thanks for reading my crap x

OP posts:
rageface · 20/05/2018 00:19

Call the police and get this waster out of you and your kids life.

Be strong. Please don’t ever allow him near your DS again.

I don’t know what else to say. He is a truly horrendous man.

Flowers
PrizeOik · 20/05/2018 00:19

What a horrible person he is. A fucking criminal on top of it as well. He assaulted you, what an absolute waster.

You sound so strong. I imagine you don't feel it right now, but you really are.

Would you consider reporting his assault to the police? I'm wondering if it would be best, given your DS was in the house etc.

Can you get back in touch with your family xx you are not wasting anyone's time. This is the right place to come for support.

Barmaid101 · 20/05/2018 00:21

Please report to the police his adult. And well done you for kicking him out.

Have you thought about speaking to women’s aid? Get it recorded the abuse. He is going to try and use your daughter as a weapon when she is born. You need to protect yourself and the children.

Get back in contact with your mum. You will need her support over the next few weeks.

lorribaby · 20/05/2018 00:23

Sorry this has happened to you. Hope you and your ds are ok. You know what you have to do. Never let this guy anywhere near you all again. To hit anyone else is disgusting but hitting a heavily pregnant woman in front of her child is the worst of the worst. Please keep yourself safe and you have taken the first step of speaking out. Please call woman's aid. Wishing you all the best Thanks

applesandpears56 · 20/05/2018 00:26

Aw love sending you hugs.

Kick him out and report him to police - get the assault on record.

rageface · 20/05/2018 00:26

Get as much support as you can, OP. Don’t be ashamed to go back to your family. You are so vulnerable and over the next few weeks, will be even more so. You’ll be exhausted and hormonal and he will exploit that.

I am disgusted that anyone could do what he has done.

Ceebies · 20/05/2018 00:36

Well done. You have done the right thing x

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 20/05/2018 07:20

Where are you? Are you safe? And do you have any plans?

You sound so clear and brave. Don't second guess yourself. You have taken the only realistic decision. You have shown your DS that if someone hits you, you don't see them any more. Strongly recommend you report to the police.

Three cheers for you!

stoneagemum · 20/05/2018 07:32

Stay strong and the fuck away from that asshole

shammy1b · 20/05/2018 07:41

I know it sounds shit but you will be ok without this prick hun i swear..you have done and are thinking the RIGHT thing..fuck him off xx

Lmj25 · 20/05/2018 07:47

You are strong for kicking him out just stick to it and don't let the horrible bastard back. You deserve better! WinkThanks

Lmj25 · 20/05/2018 07:47

Sorry meant Smile not a bloody wink

RJnomore1 · 20/05/2018 07:55

I absolutely take my hat off to you.

Joysmum · 20/05/2018 07:56

Please report him. It wouldn’t surprise me if going to need help and support from the authorities. Plus if your DS saw this, he might mention it and he might need support too. Flowers

seven201 · 20/05/2018 07:58

He is an awful human being. Be strong and get away. Will he leave? Make sure you ask for support from families and friends. Even if you haven't seen you in a while they will want to help you. You sound like you've suddenly seen the light - do not let go of that. You stay strong and build a new better life for you and the dc.

Kintan · 20/05/2018 07:58

Please report this twerp to the police. Good luck with your new baby and I hope your son heals quickly.

minimalpatience · 20/05/2018 07:59

I'm sorry this happened to you, but wanted to say well done for kicking him out and reinforcing to your child that that sort of behaviour is unacceptable. Good luck.

marmitecrumpets · 20/05/2018 08:07

Please stay strong. Don't let that man back into your life. Your children deserve more than him. You will give them everything they need, without him there damaging them and their Mummy

mimibunz · 20/05/2018 08:09

Hugs to you OP, and well done for getting rid of that abusive dead weight.

DianaT1969 · 20/05/2018 08:12

He'll come pretending he's sorry, or wait until you've had the baby and are feeling emotional. If you feel you can report the assault to the police, do so. If you can call a locksmith this morn to change the locks, do so. If you can move away to where you have friends and family, do so.
He has shown you who he is - if you didn't know before.

MothershipG · 20/05/2018 08:12

Well done for taking decisive action.

How about calling Women's aid and when the dust has settled doing the freedom program? You were only with him a few months when you got pregnant and he persuaded you it was a good idea, did he love bomb you?

You've already managed to bring up your lovely son on your own and despite being so young so you know you can do this. Stay strong.

SlowDown76mph · 20/05/2018 08:16

Please report to the police. Protect yourself and your children. You don't want unrestricted contact in the future from this nasty piece of work.

BigFuckingManatee · 20/05/2018 08:38

Another one saying police. He assaulted you. Well done for kicking him out, please stick by your decision x

topsy2tails · 20/05/2018 09:00

Can you came back to us OP to let us know you're safe from this bastard. It broke my heart to read that your little boy came running with a tea towel for you. NEVER subject him to this again. I also believe this should be logged with the police. Then get your family on board. Tell them everything!
You sound strong and resolved but being pregnant, you are also vulnerable. Do not let him talk you round. He is a disgusting excuse of a human being and not good enough for you and your children.
Give him his comeuppance once and for all!! Call him out for the nasty, cowardly bully that he is. And tell him to fuck right off!!!

trojanpony · 20/05/2018 09:13

Lots of good advice - do kick him out and 100% press charges. You will regret it if you don’t as it will give you credibility and the upper hand going forward (visitation custody etc)

My follow up on this, which is not something you need to thing about right now but you should consider soon is whether or not you put his name on the birth certificate and whose surname the baby gets.
Please Do not be pressured into “doing the right thing” or being fair because “it’s his child” too. Parents may offer misguided advice and he will certainly try and talk you into it. Do not listen

The decisions you make on these two points will effect the next 16-18 years of your life there are lots of posters who can give much better advice in this area than I can I’m sure they’ll be along shortly

In the interim please know you are making the right decision Flowers be kind to yourself

Swipe left for the next trending thread