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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this limerence?

27 replies

Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 17/05/2018 17:33

Met lovely man in jan. Got on really well. Fast forward to april i adore him and assume all going well so mutual. Then he told me he was dating other people. I was horrified. I gave him the choice of either exclusivity or ending it, we ended it.
I was gutted.

Since then, over a month ago, he has messaged me almost daily with links and memes, almost always with no explanation as to why he is sending them.

I just dont understand why, as he obviously does not care for me, would this continue? Obviously my hopes are raised with each substanceless message. If he actually cares hed say so, right. I have come close to asking why, but pride stops me.

OP posts:
Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 17/05/2018 17:34

But i cant stop feeling sad, and missing him horribly.

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Onemansoapopera · 17/05/2018 17:36

How did it come about him telling you?

Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 17/05/2018 17:39

He just came out with it randomly, that hed been on a date Sad

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category12 · 17/05/2018 17:40

Block him. Job done. He made his choice. He's trying to get you to break silence and open a dialogue. There's nothing to say. Block.

TuTru · 17/05/2018 17:41

Yeah block him! Don’t look back!
You’ll get over it dw xx

minmooch · 17/05/2018 17:41

Just block him then you won't receive these things from him. He made his choice, he either lied to you or misled you in some way.

It shouldn't be this hard.

ScreamingValenta · 17/05/2018 17:41

If he actually cares hed say so, right

Yes. In my experience, there are some people who endlessly churn out links and memes with almost no thought. He knows you would have been interested had he been prepared to have an exclusive relationship. There is nothing to stop him offering you exclusivity. The fact he has not done this gives you your answer.

Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 17/05/2018 17:41

I know i should. I suppose i hope he will change his mind, pathetc i know Sad

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Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 17/05/2018 17:44

Have others experienced this? Im finding it as bizarre as being ghosted!

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Onemansoapopera · 17/05/2018 17:45

It depends.

It maybe a couple of things and to give a balanced view.

A/ he may have said he'd been on a date to test your reaction, clumsy and disasterous.
B/ he may have actually been on a date and realised she was not a patch on you and now doesn't know how to get back to you.
C/ he is trying to keep links with you as the fall back girl
D/ he is bored and sending stuff to everyone waiting for a bite.

If you like him enough to give him a chance, then I would contact him and ask him why he is sending you things and trying to contact you if he doesn't want you as his girlfriend.

Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 17/05/2018 17:47

Thank you. Sage advice. I am dying to, but i expect he will say... Oh just thought youd be interested...

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Onemansoapopera · 17/05/2018 17:53

Well if he does at that point ...yes block him. Take time, get over him and move forward.

Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 17/05/2018 17:56

Ok. I feel so hurt by it all, i know he isnt interested. I just need to take the plunge and block.

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category12 · 17/05/2018 18:31

My thoughts on onemansoapopera's options
A. would mean he's a game-player and a mindfuck. Dump with prejudice.
B. Given he made the choice, and wasn't too cowardly about saying no and hurting op's feelings, I think it's very unlikely he's too cowardly now to say he made a mistake.
C. Could be
D. Could be.

He's just pratting you about, op. Don't be suckered into engaging with him.

minmooch · 17/05/2018 22:41

A - he blew it
B - he blew it
C- he blew it
D - he blew it

We all know a good thing when we see it. He didn't see you as a good thing and chanced his luck elsewhere. He blew it.

Block him and move on.

The early dating days should be fun, easy, finding out if you are compatible. It should not be this hard.

You will feel empowered if you take control and dump his sorry arse.

colditz · 17/05/2018 22:45

He's breadcrumbing

ScreamingValenta · 17/05/2018 22:48

@colditz Breadcrumbing?

colditz · 17/05/2018 22:50

www.powerofpositivity.com/breadcrumbing/

Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 17/05/2018 23:17

Yeah that was pretty accurate. I did block him, and i do feel better. I thought he was really nice... Hate how i got sucked in Sad

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Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 17/05/2018 23:19

Thanks all Flowers

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tallwivglasses · 17/05/2018 23:24

Onwards and upwards, Furious 😊

trojanpony · 17/05/2018 23:56

He is 100% breadcrumbing
What a shit
Block block and block some more

Flowers Furious

Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 18/05/2018 00:05

Yes the article was spot on, all about feeding his ego, i forgot to mention say not only links and memes also selfies! To which i would say he looked lovely to be polite, and to which he would respond 'thanks :)'
Thank god its over!

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Sally2791 · 18/05/2018 06:05

Well done for walking away. Don't look back

Furiousaboutinstarubbish · 18/05/2018 08:19

No not looking back. Well looking back on the signs i missed. Think hes insecure and immature, while being a gorgeous and sweet chap, apparently. Not for me, and i feel better already knowing i wont get a couple of confusing messages today which lead me on and string it out

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