Is this a fair arrangement?

[evergreen7]

Not sure if this is the right topic but I wasn't sure where it would fit.

I'm currently on Mat leave with DC2 due to go back after the summer hols. My job is/was PT and only to help our finances - definitely not a career. DC1 will get free nursery hours in September and will be doing 4 full days so I will only be looking after DC2.
Me and DP discussed our situation and we both agree we'd rather me not go back to my pervious job as due to the hours and travel we barely saw each other and the income wasn't great.
DP is self employed and has a very high earning potential which I could potentially boost by doing his admin and other office related tasks which hold him back from spending more time with his clients which is key to increasing his income. He thinks that if I was able to take over that area it would mean he generates enough income to be able to pay me out a good wage for about 15hrs work a week (basically I'd be getting more than at my current job for less hours).
But I would have to be able to manage myself so that I can look after DC2, the house and do 15hrs work from the home office Mon-Fri.

I think it makes sense for us especially as it would mean we will be able to save a house deposit quicker, it will cut out any commuting for me and we will boost our income in general.
Here's what I'm concerned about:

• working with/for DP and wether it will impact our relationship
• if the hours expected of me and the overall workload is doable
• if it's a fair arrangement for both of us

To break it down

• I will be expected to do 15 hours of work a week from home whilst being able to look after DC2, cook, clean and do all house related tasks Mon-Fri including his ironing (one thing he is GENUINELY crap at)
• DP will be working FT usually 7-5.30 Mon - Fri and help with baths/bedtimes etc once he's home (like he does now)
• at weekends DP usually does most of the cooking or sometimes we go out for lunch or dinner. One of us usually looks after DCs whilst the other tackles the dishes etc and that would carry on as normal.

DP will still be main earner and will be paying me a wage. Out of that I pay my outgoings such as car insurance, mobile etc Gas and Electric, Internet and majority of groceries and presents for families. DP pays mortgage, council tax, water bills and other outgoings and also pays into savings for both of us and DCs saving accounts, there's also a few loans he will be paying off.

So does it sound like a fair arrangement for both of us?

Is there any potential downfalls or issues we've not considered?

Any insight would be appreciated.

I think the arrangement could be fair, with some contigencies...but probably isn't and won't be. And won't be worth it once you make it fair. And may have an impact on your relationship.

I'm sure your DPs heart is in the right place, nothing to suggest he is trying to exploit you or doesn't value you, etc, but...nah.

And sort something out (legal stuff, wedding, whatever) asap so that you are protected more generally in the near future.

As others have said, you are vulnerable because you are not married, he pays the mortgage and owns the business. You need to ensure you have an equal share in everything if things go wrong. Is your name on the mortgage,even?
Working for him may change your relationship with him because he would also be your boss.You won’t know this unless you try it but protect yourself first. Shared finances sounds a more sensible option too.
I would suggest getting some childcare while you work as it would be safer for the children and you could then focus fully on doing your job (to reduce chance of errors and negative feedback from dh)
If you do the above, then go for it!

I think I missed something as I don't get why so many negative comments towards your hubby! My friend did this - all the admin for her hubby's business and he was away overseas working most the time while she looked after their 3 children. She wanted to do the admin to save money - it was her idea. I think the only thing that got her down was doing his expenses where she could see he had been out socialising. Honestly, if you can't justify going back to your old job due to childcare costs...what do you really have to lose? Try it and see if it works...if it doesn't than you can revert back.
For the record, your hubby does much more childcare and housework than my hubby. That said I am happy with our arrangement - the time my hubby saves not doing housework he uses to work and earn money so we can have a cleaner which we both like having!

ittakes2 exactly!
He is your husband. Your friend does work for her HUSBAND.
If you or her separate you will be financially OK.
You will be entitled to a share of the business.
OP is not married a not protected at all.
That is the main issue here!

I have done this - for many years. It worked well as I could be flexible and fit work around children. I think my youngest was around 6 months old when we started. We were married, however, the only thing I regret is that he paid me just under the threshold for NI, which has come back to bite me in later years!

No doesn’t seem fair

Why not put a % in a pot and pay all the bills from the pot, including a bill for the cleaner and irony lady

What you missed ittakes2 is the fact he's not her hubby.

I wish more women were aware of the fact that a long term partnership and children with a man confers jack shit in terms of rights if that relationship fails.

It makes me want to cry

Because blissfully ignorant women put love and hearts over wisdom and sense where a man is involved and never believe anything could ever go wrong.

Bluntly put, being a SAHP is a luxury that only the married can afford. Until he says "I do" ypu need to be able to support yourself. Luckily for you, getting married is very simple. Do it before you end your maternity leave, then go ahead with your "business deal". I'd be intetested to know what he says if you suggest it.