Can't stop crying.

[NinkyNonk1]

Please can anyone offer some guidance on this situation.

I have posted about him before.

Started seeing a guy and now we are at around 2 months in. He lives 30 miles from me and he has mostly been travelling to me as he works closer to me than his. Problem we've now got is his company are moving in the next few weeks to 60 miles from me but it will be closer to where he lives.

He is saying he doesn't want to commit to a relationship if we only end up seeing each other once a week. I have a young DD so it's harder for me to go to him in the evenings. I'm just trying to think of some options of how we could make things work.

This is really getting me down as I've fallen for him in a big way.

Or is he just using this as an excuse?

OP you have been with this man for just 8 weeks and you’re already thinking of moving closer to him?!

You have a child!!! It isn’t just about you!!!

You need to take a step back and breath. If he truly wanted to be with you then you’ll both find a way together to make it work.

It’s just an excuse really. My dh travelled over 70 miles every day to see me when we were dating (I couldn’t drive). Most of the time he’d just nip in to see me after work, we’d have coffee or a drink or dinner and then arrange a longer date on weekends. If your dp wanted wanted you enough he’d make it work, but my guess is his feelings are ambivalent and at only 2 months in he finds it easier to drop you then make it work.

Go back on OLD and find someone else.

He's trying to let you down gently.

Take the hint...

I'd say he's reeled you in and now backtracking a lot!!!

Take the hint and walk away.

Your reaction is way Ott and reeks of desperation. He isn't trying to make this work is he? Surely he knew about a potential office move before now. Is it even happening?

I think you need to speak with a counsellor as a matter of urgency.

He is not on the same page as you at all.

OP, I am sorry to say I agree with others, that if he really really wanted to see you, he would make it happen somehow.

2 months is nothing in a new relationship. I would not be uprooting my entire life for something so new.

I think you need to tell him that you are very sad, that you wish he was more committed to making it work somehow, but you understand that he isn't, and wave him goodbye.

If he really does want to be with you, he will come crawling back.

People travel if they want to. He's not that bothered. Better be upset now than later when you've uprooted for nothing. Sorry.

Thank you all for your comments. I can see a bit more clearly now and realise that you are right about not uprooting my whole life for him after only this short time.

As I said previously I think the things he's been saying are conflicting so I just need to find out from him what he actually wants and get him to be honest about it.

I didn't go looking for a relationship but it's found me and I can't help how I feel. Unfortunately I can think a bit irrationally sometimes so your comments have helped me to think properly again.

Sorry you're hurting but as I said earlier, I honestly don't think it's worth the upsetting discussion.

He has changed his mind since saying the "nice"stuff and is now backtracking. Sometimes men tell you what they think you want to hear and don't mean a word of it, which is horrible.

There will be someone nicer out there for you, and make sure you take it SLOW next time
No need to introduce kids until minimum 6 months but others might say even more, I'm not sure of the general consensus

I agree with above comment.

It's not worth it. He's made it clear he doesn't want you.

Why go through the heartache of having it out with him, to say it all again? if not more bluntly.

Cut strings with this guy. You haven't lost nor gained anything from this relationship. Move on

I can see a bit more clearly now and realise that you are right about not uprooting my whole life for him after only this short time.

Thank god for that!

Because you and your daughter will suffer the consequences if you do..

Did it ever strike you OP that his "company is moving" cos he felt your desperation? In wanting to uproot your whole family life for him within 2 months of meeting?

Anyone would feel clausterphobic in that scenario. I know I certainly would - and I am speaking also as a LP.

I knew before we met that his company was moving so I doubt it's my desperation as you nicely put it!

Christ you'd think about moving after 8 weeks

Focus on your child

I can't believe anyone would consider this....

I've only read the first page, but you need to get a grip. You have a child to think of and you're talking about moving to be closer to someone who's made it clear he's not interested in a serious relationship. What's going on in your head? Get a hobby.

Ninkynonk, if I were you, I'd walk away from this thread. People are just being cruel now, to someone who's clearly hurting and it'll make you feel worse. I think you got the answers you need! Hope it works out for you.