Women in ltrs, how does your self esteem cope when your dh/ so is attracted to younger women.

[pinkviscose]

Just that really, both in our 40s, married 22 years, dh preference for porn is college age girls. Also have noticed him glancing girls this age when out together, not leering but he's clearly attracted. I've post baby weight and show my age. I obviously have low self esteem and feel terrible that I'm made to feel in "competition" with much younger women. I know it's normal for men to find young women attractive but for me it's so disappointing that my dh has down graded our age group in his sexual tastes and prefers to look at girls more then half his age. Is this just my problem? How do I make myself feel better and not sexually inadequate? Any thoughts, advice?

I can understand looking discreetly at attractive young women. But the porn thing, notsomuch. Also, I think it depends what kind of porn, Porn now is not just sneaking a look at the wonderful female form - there are some awful 57 varieties of degradations out there just a click away, and soft porn (if such a thing exists now even) soon gives way to more explicit and degrading porn.

By the way, since you've just had a baby you're young in your 40s!!!! You should not feel in competition with "college porn babes"! Its sad, and personally I think its disrespectful of your husband. But these are my values, I know not everyoneelses.

I hope you work it out, I understand its not easy.

I get all outraged at these men, looking at young woman with a gleam in their eye.

And then I remember how the start of the summer cycling period makes me smile - all those lycra-clad male cyclists waiting right by your car wondow at traffic lights. Those slim hips and tight muscley bums.

I would have no thought, not thought AT ALL, of even speaking to them, though. I just look and admire. No actual interest. that's objectification I suppose

Can’t bear cyclists in Lycra personally.

It’s really really ick that you have late teenage girls. What you describe would put me off a man completely and for good.

He’s basically wanking over girls your dds’ age.