Where should I begin - never had an adult relationship

[starinthemoon]

I find myself thinking it would be nice but then I wonder if I am simply too old - I don’t mean for a relationship as obviously they can happen at any age but given I have no real experience (I know this is odd.)

I am not confident at all and can’t inagjne online dating?

How old are you? Do you have a sense of why you've never had an adult relationship?

You havent missed much. Everyone I know has been divorced about a million times.

That’s not the case for me Rudgie

Irene I am nearly 38. I think honestly I’ve just been tied up with other stuff. Now I’m a bit lobelt and lost

Lonely, that should read

Do you like being with others? Are you interested when you meet people? You should definitely not contemplate online dating until you know more about what you want and your confidence increases.

I am a decade older and only have irrelationships. Fake relationships.

Come on star, you haven't really been tied up with other things have you? Unless they're huge things like serious illnesses, I just don't believe working a lot or having a hobby makes people not think about love.
I have very little experience either and could never do online dating. I know lots of the single people in my city and they all see each other's profiles so everyone would see it. I also feel it's a bit like saying 'look at me, I'm so great I'm advertising myself in a shop window!'
Haven't been asked out in years though.

I am Granny but I rarely if ever meet available men.

Gwen life hasn’t been easy for me. It has been a bit of a struggle.

Please don’t go online. You need street smarts and experience of how controlling men can be. Also their intentions. Honestly is hard found. If you do at least find some advice on what to look out for. I’d look for outside interests where all kinds of people interact. Make more friends!

I do have quite a lot of friends as it happens, friendships have never been a problem for me. But most of my friends are now married with small children.

Your 38 for goodness sake that’s not old! From your post I thought you were going to say you were 78!!!!

Pull yourself together!

Get out and enjoy yourself. Take up a hobby, go on singles holidays. Go speed dating. Ask friends to set you up on blind dates,

Go out, have fun, meet new people

Stop acting like your an old woman for the love of god!!!!!!!!!

CarysMa that’s sad but I sure can understand it in this day and age.

It’s fairly old to have never really had a relationship to be fair. My friends wouldn’t know anyone to set me up on a blind date with.

Maybe don't just switch your interest on for available men. You can practise on everybody you meet. You sound a bit sorry for yourself in your reply to gwen (who I just met on another thread). It's not an approach that will draw people to you.

I don’t mean to, but I did feel I had to explain myself. I’m very sunny in real life.

What do you mean when you say you’ve never had a relationship??

Have you been out with men on dates?
Have you had casual friendships/friends with benefits type relationships?

Star - sorry that's life's been hard. I did sort of guess that, it can't be the case that you were just too busy for 38 years, more likely that you had issues and have now worked through some of them, but are finding it hard at this age. Many Mumsnetters are married or happily single parents and don't want to acknowledge that it really does get much more difficult to meet single men after a certain age as well as the fact that many people are lonely. You'll get plenty of advice to just join clubs and hobbies, which is useless as unless they're targeted to single people, the people who go to them will be taken. Socialising at 38 isn't the same as socialising at 25, you have to make a special effort to meet other singles. There'll also be plenty who say they're happy being single, but most of those will be parents and not living alone.

No. I had a boyfriend as a teenager but it didn’t last - I was eighteen when we split up.

Well, I do have adult children but yes it is hard as they move on with their lives (as they should!)

How do you have children if you've never had a relationship? Both from one night stands?

Good, that'll help! Then the advice above is all good. I met my DP on a group "adventure" holiday with Explore. Nothing very strenuous, it was in France. Join a choir, you don't have to be Katherine Jenkins. Go a little way out of your comfort zone and don't appear needy!

I was a teenager when I had them.

You can’t go out looking for a man
You need to go out generally doing things you enjoy to meet like minded people

Please stop acting like your over the hill though - your only 38!

Well yes, it’s just not that easy though. I suppose this is where I don’t know where to start. I don’t think I’m over the hill because I’m 38. It’s more because I’m stupid and boring and have no experience.