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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just found my new buddleia plant in my wheelie bin.

45 replies

JenBarber · 09/05/2018 06:28

Has to be my mum.

She has NO boundaries. Obviously saw it, didn't like it, so threw it away.

I've managed to keep her out of the house but the front garden still seems to be fair game for her to trash.

It's still alive, still salvagable. Is only a little baby one. I can plant it round the back since it's such an assault to the eyes.

I want to phone now and ask what the hell but she won't be up.

I'm pissed off. She bulldozes through my life. Nothing is off limits - my weight, my hair, my child. Is she running out of stuff??

What next? Seriously??

OP posts:
ButtermilkBiscuits · 09/05/2018 06:29

Shock That's flipping bonkers!

Original poster
JenBarber · 09/05/2018 06:33

I know.

Every time she comes here she she breaks something. She must've come when I wasn't here.

Makes me lust after Walking Dead style fencing...

OP posts:
flumpybear · 09/05/2018 06:33

What a cow!! You need to put your foot down and tell her to stop behaving like you're her baby still

flumpybear · 09/05/2018 06:34

Sorry, she lets herself into your home whilst you're out?! WHAT!!!!!!

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse · 09/05/2018 06:34
Shock Damage to property
Original poster
JenBarber · 09/05/2018 06:35

No, no.

I was out so she attacked the front garden.

OP posts:
PetulantPolecat · 09/05/2018 06:35

Dig up her front garden. Plant 10 of them instead. Grin

MeanTangerine · 09/05/2018 06:42

Just because she's sleeping is no reason not to call her Wink

Original poster
JenBarber · 09/05/2018 06:48

Nah, I'll get DS off to school then deal with it.

Still baffled though.

Little plant is now in an outdoor pot but having a nice soak in the sink. Poor sod.

OP posts:
Aussiebean · 09/05/2018 06:52

Go over with 10 of them and say you thought she would love them for her garden.

Original poster
JenBarber · 09/05/2018 06:53

She doesn't deserve 10 buddleia.

OP posts:
eurochick · 09/05/2018 06:55

That's utterly bonkers. She has no boundaries.

Original poster
JenBarber · 09/05/2018 07:02

Here he is.

Poor little bugger...

Sad

You guys have cheered my up and valedated my anger. Still pissed off though.

Thank you!

Grin
Just found my new buddleia plant in my wheelie bin.
OP posts:
TheNoodlesIncident · 09/05/2018 07:17

Buddleias are tough. He'll be OK. You're right to be angry.

My blood pressure is soaring at the thought that your mum thinks she can do what she likes with your life though. That's outrageous behaviour Angry

billybagpuss · 09/05/2018 07:20

Bet the answer is, I didn't know what it was so thought it was a weed.

Buddlleia are very tough, he will be absolutely fine. In fact, give it 10 years and he will be a weed.

Peanutbuttercups21 · 09/05/2018 07:22

You need to emigrate!

Anythingforacatslife · 09/05/2018 07:23

Tell her you’ve reported criminal damage to the police and they’re looking at cctv footage, see how she reacts then.

Elledouble · 09/05/2018 07:26

Buddleia can survive a lot! I’ve got a beast in my garden that I’d really like to take out but I feel guilty about the bees and in any case, the roots are very tough and deep.

Your mum sounds mental. Ring her up and say you’ve called the police cos someone has vandalised your garden and give her a fright.

reallyanotherone · 09/05/2018 07:27

I have one of these. I sympathise.

contrary13 · 09/05/2018 07:27

Well, if her excuse is "I thought it was a weed..." - technically, she's right. They're beautiful plants (I have three, one is a fourth generation cutting from a plant at my favourite great-great-aunt's cottage), but they're not native to the UK and are classified as weeds.

Which is great.

Because you know your little baby one will be okay.

Your mum, though... You were out, so she pulled up at least one plant/weed out of your garden?! That's not the behaviour of a rational individual, at all. However, whether that's because she's mentally unwell or simply plain ol' nasty, I obviously have no clue. But I'm guessing, if she's anything like mine, it's probably the latter.

Don't plant it in the back garden where it can't be seen. Why should you? You obviously want it in the front garden. As long as it has plenty of sun, and plenty of water, it'll flourish - and surely that ought to be where you actually want it to?!

auntyflonono · 09/05/2018 07:27

I pull them up as they self seed as weeds here. However, it's obvious when something is deliberately planted. Tell her she was seen, or she will deny it!

Original poster
JenBarber · 09/05/2018 07:30

He has one of those green stick things attached to him with plastic joiny things to hold him upright.

Was obvious he was deliberately planted.

OP posts:
WellThisIsShit · 09/05/2018 07:43

So what would actually happen if you told her the police are looking through cctv for the garden thief/vandal?!

Somewhat childish I know but it sounds like she needs a reminder on appropriate boundaries!

But perhaps she wouldn’t believe it if she regards Buddeia as weeds and foreign invaders?

Either way, she sounds extremely annoying and what you write suggests Buddleia-gate is just the last in a long line of over stepping behaviour?

blueskyinmarch · 09/05/2018 07:46

I agree you should call her in horror that someone has been into your garden and stolen plants so you have reported it to the police. See what she says.

lunar1 · 09/05/2018 07:49

Tell her you have the police coming round to check your cctv. Then move and don't give her your address.