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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Infidelity support thread for the betrayed party part 2

4 replies

Brokenpromises · 08/05/2018 23:01

Sorry place to be but warm hugs and people who know what you are going through :(

Shall I start,

Married, 18 years found out on Christmas day that my husband had been having an affair for 14 months, he had slept with her in my bed and my living room floor, She never left her head teacher husband and big house......... so four days later after telling me he was unsure if he loved me or wanted to save our marriage, he decided, he wanted to save the marriage. Since then life has been peachy.....only felt like ending it a hand full of times, cry most days and feel completely and utterly broken. The things I have found out since have destroyed me, the laughing with his best mate about what he was doing behind my back,( found those delightful messages), the lie upon lie I have been told have brought me to breaking point. We even tried Relate little did I know he was still keeping stuff from me and would happily still lie to me at the drop of a hat. I was a good wife I know now, I gave him everything I could and it still wasn't enough. Bad things happen to good people, His/her shitty choices have caused this pain, the person who should have had my back, was stabbing me in it and laughing while he did it. I loved him, and he says he loves me, but how can anyone who treats someone like that?

OP posts:
GertieMotherwell · 09/05/2018 00:30

brokenpromises 💐
A new thread has already been started so you may be better posting there.
I’m sorry you’re going through this

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3242134-infidelity-support-thread-for-the-betrayed-party-part-2

StarlightSparkle · 09/05/2018 05:21

Broken, if I saw messages from H to his friends laughing and joking about what he’d been up to, he’d arrive home to find his stuff in bin liners and the locks changed. That is callous beyond belief.

I know it’s tough when you’ve got kids and a long history together but would you not consider leaving? It’s going to be so hard for you to heal when he is showing such a lack of remorse and was so disrespectful towards you.

I’m sorry things are still really tough for you Flowers

GertieMotherwell · 09/05/2018 07:44

broken 💐

I’m still with my DH after a long term affair and often support posters not leaving. However, we all have our ‘dealbreaker’ thresholds and laughing to his mate and bringing OW into my bed would cross mine.

How is he with you now?
Do you really want to be with him? It’s not necessarily the easier option xx

Crystaldaisy66 · 09/05/2018 10:55

My husband was caught spending our family money on pros two weeks ago. I am still numb but planning to divorce. Dont really want to even waste more money on this relationship. Staying for kids or fear of being alone is pointless. he has shown you what he is. Believe him.

When you take him back you will be living this all over again in 2-4 years. mark my words. He will be way more careful and probably even good for two years but the real him will return when the time is right. Then you will be 4 more years along with your time wasted devasted you were so stupid now. I can't be bothered. I do feel depressed about how hard the future will be. I have a huge mountain ahead of me and two young babies and a full on job to work out how i will manage. But now i have one less "child" to worry about. He had a perfect life and threw it all away on a £10 shag. He is now welcome to it!

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