I've just called AA

[3StepsToHeaven]

Spoke to a lovely guy, told me to get to a meeting tonight. I'm really scared but I'm going. Nothing g good has ever come from me drinking. I have two boys and I want to be the best I can for them. I'm such a fuck up but I want to change. Wish me luck!

Well done, you!

You are showing strength and determination. Keep going to meetings. Your life can improve immeasurably if you get control of your drinking.

Well done! That light? It's the way to a better and happier life for you and your kids. Good luck OP. Stay strong.

A day at a time, op, and keep going to meetings. It gets easier and you have the prospect of a wonderful life ahead.

Well done op! I have a friend who went to AA a couple of years ago at a time I didn’t think she would survive- her life is now unrecognisable from the situation she was in.

Fantastic, you just keep putting you and your boys first, one day at a time! You should be so proud of yourself

I'm so sick of the chaos that drink brings for me....the shame, the pissing off of neighbours, the black outs and days wasted. I want to be a good person, for me, nothing good ever starts with a drink. I never want to be that person again.

You are a good person and you deserve to be a happy one.

Well done.

There are several threads on here.... DRY, and Brave Babes... have a look for some extra support. Or look at recommendations for Soberistas, or other websites.. find what works for you. And keep going one day at a time x

You are a good person

Well done Op on taking such a brave first step - good luck

Well done, really. I don’t know you but I feel genuinely delighted for you. You can do it

Well done. I’m 3 weeks clean, gone through NHS scheme rather than AA but I know my life has changed in a positive way forever.

That's amazing, well done you. DH had drinking issues for a number of years but stopped completely more than a year ago. He looks so well and our lives are so much better. He finds a closed Facebook group called Club Soda the most helpful thing of all, it's full of people like you and really supportive. Might that be worth a look?

Leslie - what is the NHS scheme?

Well done. I’m 3 years sober thanks to AA. I realise different things help different people but for me, this was the only way. There’s a big difference between being “dry” and being “sober.” Being “dry” means to white-knuckle it. I tried that for over 20 years. Through the 12 step program I lost the compulsion and desire to drink. It gets easier, not harder and I found out that it’s a progressive disease and that if I take one drink I can’t stop and when I did manage to stop for a while, thoughts of alcohol consumed my every waking minute. I’d have thrown myself in front of a train for my son. But I couldn’t stop drinking for him. AA gave me my life back, my son his mum back and I’m very grateful to be a recovering alcoholic. Please keep going back to meetings. I really do wish you well.

Dapple - where I live it’s xalled Change Grow Live but even area has their own schemes.

There is also smart recovery which is more CBT based than AA. It’s all about finding the programme for you.

It's great. I went like mad the first 3 months. Let me tell you 2 important things that i was advised, which may be contrary to normal advise but...

1. Do not EVER give your phone number to anyone at AA other than your sponsor if you agree to having one. (otherwise you will end up having someone bell down your phone wanting long chats, trust me on this. Lots of people in AA have financial problems, it's perfectly reasonable to say you don't have a phone at the moment.

1. I personally was advised by a long standing AA member not to tell people it's your first meeting, unless you want to. Feel free to say you've been sober for 3 months. Feel free to be quiet in your first few meetings, I'd def. recommend you sit back at your first and listen to others.

I think back to my first week nearly 3 years ago, I went to all sorts of meetings. I remember sprinting to one in a church hall. Another in a dry out clinic which was a real eye opener... I felt so shaky. I felt proud too, as each day passed, just managing each day was a triumph, and slowly slowly I reached the first week, then the second, and then after 52 weeks I stopped counting in weeks.

Slowly I started to relax. My first social party with a long standing friend was super cringe, but then maybe it would have been even worse fuelled on champagne. I did a moment where I sat in the bathroom hearing people laughing outside and thinking, is this how it's gonna be, is this it, will it be so boring, will i always be so straight, so serious, ...... but those things passed. Life is different, less handbag loses, less letting myself and others down. In that bathroom I had a flashback to birthday parties as a kid and teen, where I had sat bored or mostly anxious.. until the introduction of alcohol, which was a game changer for about 18 years.

I loved AA. I haven't continued regular meetings mainly as I am not in london now, there are 800 a week. The best feeling of waking up remembering how you got to sleep, that you didn;t let anyone down, that you remembered what you said, that you haven't left carnage... is so great. There are sooo many benefits. I liked to still drink water in a wine glass, it felt more splendid. I had lots of fruit to keep up sugar...

One great friend described me to another couple who we were having dinner with as saying 'she doesn't need to drink anymore, she's drunk enough for all of us'.

I found my non drinking status dominated a lot of conversations.. so you can just decline it because 'it might complicate your medication' .. if this makes it easier to dodge pressure. ..there are some great blogs.

Your future self will thank you for this. I never stuck with anything, I zig zagged home, lost more phones than anyone, probably won and lost all my boyfriends because of it. But I stuck with this and it has so many benefits. Feeling elegant and together is great.....

52 hangovers a year= 52 days spent feeling like rubbish = 7 weeks per year you feel horrific....

Thank you for all your kind words, it really means a lot. I did speak a little at the meeting, but did t tell my story, I just said my name, said I was scared but knew I was in the right place. I took a few numbers but did t give mine out. I plan to go to the Wednesday meeting next week, my husband works all day so can't expect him to have the dc to many nights....although he is being very supportive

You're awesome! I wish you well xx

Well done you!!!

Re the phone numbers thing, I have to say, I’ve never ever had any problem, and have also given mine out, although only to women. I’ve had and sent texts about wanting to drink, and a response from someone who has been there/done that, can make all the difference.

One of the most useful things I heard was, when you feel like drinking, play to the end of the film. So, fast forward to how you’ll feel after the drinking session, and then see do you still want that.

I was a renowned drinker, but stopping has done no more than raise an eyebrow here and there. It’s my business, no one else really cares.

I wish you well, what you’re doing is a great gift to your children and family. My parents are drinkers and I heartily wish they had stopped drinking for me and my siblings, but they didn’t.

Keep coming back, it works if you work it.

Excellent work OP.
You’re not a fuck up, you made that call.
My mum made the same call just over 40 years ago. She hasn’t drunk a drop since. AA saved my family, it can do the same for you.
Some people don’t like the spiritual side of AA, but if it works for you AA can be wonderful.

Good luck going forward, to you and your boys.

marry, that 'play to the end of the film ' advice has really struck a chord with me. Thanks!

Thank you for answering my question Leslie.

I've been sober for four and a half years now - after realising that my life was completely out of control. Have to admit AA didn't work for me but I know that for many many people it's a life saver. You can do it and my god life will be so much better. I do get the odd 'god how boring' comment, generally from very pissed people in pubs - which is ironic! Nothing would tempt me to have a drink now - watch the film, play the tape and think how bloody awful life was.

It's fine to exchange numbers, just stick to other women for the time being as you are very vulnerable just now. Go to as many meetings as you can, even when you don't feel like it. They are a proper place of safety, which is what you need right now. Good luck.