I am going to try keep this as straightforward as possible, I was friends with a man who I cared very much about for a year, we had kissed a couple of times but he told me he just saw me as a friend. I took it at face value and started dating someone else during this time he asked why I would go out with this man but not him I reminded he said he wanted to be friends. We ended up kissing but nothing came of it, we were friends, I stopped seeing the other man and we carried on getting close.
In January after a few drinks I brought up the subject oh him getting out and meeting a woman and he told me he had no time and didn't want to get hurt. At the end of January he confessed that he did have feelings for me and was very attracted to me but he had been hurt in the past and never wanted to go through that again. I told him I felt the same and we decided to give things a go but take it very slowly. A week later he came round to mine and declared he liked me very much and didn't just want to be friends with benefits and asked me to be his girlfriend, I agreed.
We have had a great relationship since then, he is very affectionate and in the last few weeks I have tried to encourage him to be more open with his feelings, he always responded with 'I have no emotions, if you can't feel anything you can't get hurt and I always laughed it off as he was so affectionate and considerate. Then last night after we had been out all day for a friends birthday, and many drinks I asked him 'do you have feelings for me' he repeated his usual answer and I said 'well I have feelings for you.'
At this point he got angry, told me he had said all along he has no feelings for me as he has no emotions because he doesn't want to be hurt again (his only previous partner cheated on him). I was hurt and asked how he could say he feels nothing for me when he is so affectionate and caring he couldn't really answer just repeated his policy of no emotions = no hurt. Except it obviously hurt me and I asked why he had made plans with, let me introduce him to my family when he never cared, he told me he would have met them all as my friend anyway so it's all fine.
He basically said he can't go on pretending anymore and wants us to go back to being friends, and I told him that was impossible which annoyed him. He ended up leaving with the implication being it was over and I am devastated and confused as he was the first person I had a real connection with for years and despite everything he said the way he acted was so tender and affectionate I thought he was slowly building trust and opening up with me.
I know it's very long winded, but I just want thoughts, was I stupid? Should I let him go? Do I try fight for the relationship? Is it lack of emotions or fear of getting hurt?