Hello !
Had a bit of an disagreement with DP and now his not talking to me.
I’m 24, DP is 25 going onto 26 and we have a DS who is 8.
Two years ago, I left DP as the relationship wasn’t working out, the arguments were constant and weren’t good, it was affecting DS and I thought we need to break this off and have a break. I moved out, and now DS and I live with my sister temporarily.
For the past year or so, DS relationship with his dad (DP) has been inconsistent, he said it’s because his working, but I feel it’s just an excuse, he hasn’t been seeing DS regularly or not at all ! There was a period where we didn’t hear from him or see him for the past 6 months and recently, where we didn’t hear from him for 3 months (he said it’s because his working and he didn’t like the way I would be talking to him over the phone 
).
During that period anyway, DS dad (DP) moved houses, and now lives about an hour and a half (or more !) away. When we did hear from DS dad occasionally, he would ask me to bring DS over, I would say “No” because “1). Everytime, he asks to bring DS over, it always results in him wanting Sex, when I don’t give him sex, he gets upset” and “2). Because of number 1’s reason, he can pick up DS from my sisters house”. I don’t know if I’m being unfair but as a result, he comes with an excuse (“ I have no travel money to travel all the way to you guys”), gets upset and doesn’t pick up DS.
Today, DS dad (DP) calls me and we discuss things, he asks for things to go back to they way they were, move in with him and I had a feeling that the true intention of the phone call was for us (me) to go to his house and have sex. Anyway, we are conversing, I tell him that “I need to build my trust with him again, I want him to see DS regularly/ ok fine your working but see him regularly every two weeks”.
The conversation moves on from discussing about holidays and I’m thinking, maybe all of us going on holiday may resolve things, we can talk more in depth about our relationship and so forth. DS dad (DP) gets excited, is looking at sites to book hotels, go to places etc and then he says “Oh, I need to tell my job what days I need to book off for this holiday of ours, why don’t you and DS, come over to mine and we can discuss things”. I immediantly said “No” as I know us visiting his house will just result in sex. I told DS dad “ Look, I don’t think it’s a good idea, you know what’s going to happen, I’m not on any type of contraception (had the coil removed) and don’t want to risk getting pregnant since I will be starting my Masters in the new academic term”.
DS dad whinges and tells me “Why ? Nothing is going to happen, we would just be discussing holidays and if we do end up having sex, I have condoms”. I again said “No, I don’t want to risk it, we can arrange holidays in our own time, we don’t have to be together”. He then replies Why are you being like this ? Why can’t you just relax and come to my house”. I told him “To be honest, I don’t trust you, I want you to be committed to us, I want you to see DS regularly, we didn’t hear from you for 6 months and recently 3 months gone, I don’t want to be made a fool, I didn’t know what you were up to, you could even had a girl friend at a time that I didn’t know about”.
He then gets upset and tells me “Ok, just forget the holiday, I’m not bothered anymore”. We are still conversing on the phone but the tone changes as his clearly upset.
We haven’t had sex in a long while, but am I being unreasonable in my demands ? I just felt a bit guilty.