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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I’m devastated

29 replies

Olivia2007 · 27/04/2018 09:19

I recently started a new relationship we’ve been together 7 months. I thought we was a good match he great with my kids and me with his our families get on. We save together, cook together. We communicate well, spend time together. He asked me to marry him and I said I’d like to be together at least a year before thinking about being engaged. Recently I noticed he’s always on his phone when asked he said it’s a group chat with his friends. On Easter bank holiday he said he had a work meeting and was gone all day and really dressed up. I asked him why would they have in on a bank holiday and why’s hes so dressed up he got defensive. After going away for a weekend this weekend and him constantly being on his phone. I decided to go through his phone and he had been messaging different woman. The bank holiday he met one. He’s messaging his ex inappropriate messages and another woman telling her she’s beautiful and flirty messages.

I’m thinking how do I approach this.

OP posts:
SleepFreeZone · 27/04/2018 09:21

You approach by dumping him Confused

KnockMeDown · 27/04/2018 09:24

What Sleep said.

Zaphodsotherhead · 27/04/2018 09:26

So Easter Bank Holiday, when, presumably, you could have spent a lovely day together, he went off with another woman?

Doesn't matter how 'great' he seems to be, he's an arse. Get him gone.

Zeze247 · 27/04/2018 09:26

You dump him 7 months and saving together seems insanely fast.

DuchyDuke · 27/04/2018 09:26

Break up with him. It’s only been 7 months, no great loss. But ensure you take your share of the savings first.

banannabreadforme · 27/04/2018 09:27

Do you have any financial commitment together? Is he living with you? Send him on his way! You and your children deserve better than this. He is a liar and a cheat and the other woman can have him!

Justanotherzombie · 27/04/2018 09:32

There is no ‘approaching this’. He should already be dumped.

Please please please don’t be another woman who bends over backwards to stay with a piece of shit partner. You will ruin your life. And it will affect your kids and what they think is ok in a relationship.

Beaverhausen · 27/04/2018 09:34

How do you approach this! Oy vey lady you dump his scabby ass!!!

Luckingfovely · 27/04/2018 09:38

What everybody else said!

It's already over - he is not in a relationship with you.

Big girl panties on, find your self- respect, and kick him out of your life. Today. And never speak to him again.

That good ole mn phrase: he has shown you who he is. And it's not the person he has been pretending to be for seven months.

Once you've got rid you'll realise that you had a very lucky escape.

Chinesecrested · 27/04/2018 09:39

Get rid. Only seven months into the relationship and he's already looking around? A leopard never changes its spots, this is just the first of many!

hellsbellsmelons · 27/04/2018 09:46

You approach it by telling him that he's lying cheating scumbag and you are done.
Give him what you owe him from the savings and walk away.

The fact you even have to ask is rather alarming.
This is a total no-brainer.
Why do you think you are worth so little?
You should have dumped there and then but you haven't.
Figure out why you are prepared to put up with this.
Some counselling might help you with all this.
Because no-one should put up with this shite.
Not even for a minute!!!

mzcracker · 27/04/2018 09:56

7 months...sounds very much like love bombing.
You gather your anger and all your self respect and you dump his ass. I would give him nothing, no explanation, no contact ..nothing. Block him and never look back.

IveGotNoClothes · 27/04/2018 10:03

End it, end it now.

If you don't, Il tell you one thing for sure.....he will end up leaving you for one of these women.

Good luck.

magoria · 27/04/2018 10:22

Dump and a visit to the lovely STI clinic i am afraid.

Pollyputthekettleon32 · 27/04/2018 10:27

You don’t approach him you dump him

Adora10 · 27/04/2018 10:29

What's your confusion, you dump his cheating arse, that's awful.

AnyFucker · 27/04/2018 10:31

What exactly do you think any alternative "approaches" might consist of ? Confused

Original poster
Olivia2007 · 27/04/2018 10:32

Yeah you all right I suppose I was in disbelief. But I’m gonna finish with him. Thank you

OP posts:
Hideandgo · 27/04/2018 10:34

Good luck Olivia. It’s hard, very hard to be tricked like that and hurt like that. But it’s the right thing. And you’ll have a much better future for it.

WinterSunglasses · 27/04/2018 10:37

It seems obvious when you're outside it, or when speaking from experience, but it's hard to do OP. But it's relatively early days, for all his future talk. You can end it rather than getting further entangled with a man who is on the look out for other women all the time.

Gemini69 · 27/04/2018 13:11

Sorry to read this OP.. everyone is correct.. this guy is a player... he played you but you have been wise enough to suggest waiting a year before becoming engaged... you did good... now you know he's a cheating piece of shit.... Drop Kick his ass out your door Flowers

Atlantis17 · 27/04/2018 13:14

Run away from him as far as you can.

FrancisUnderwood · 27/04/2018 13:17

Consider it a lucky escape.

TheQueef · 27/04/2018 13:19

Love bombed. Get ready to feel shell shocked but don't let the fucker worm his way back. Is he older?

Dvg · 27/04/2018 13:19

What a disgusting man 0_0 no-one that does that to someone deserves a nice woman like you seem to be, kick him to the curb have a laugh at how foolish he has been and move on.

He'll be the one missing out.

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