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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I wasting my time with this man?

80 replies

Angeanon · 22/04/2018 17:58

Hi, I am hoping to get some impartial advice on this situation. I have been seeing a man for around 8 months. A bit of background; He split up from his long term partner and moved out a year ago. They have 2 sons together, the youngest is 6 years old. They were together 10 years. I am 29 & he is 37. I had known him a while, just to say hello to but then a couple of years ago we bumped into each other on a night out. We talked all night & there was a spark. Nothing happened though as I knew he was in a relationship, although he told me he hadn’t been happy for years but stayed for the kids. We didn’t speak again after that night out until he messaged me saying they had split up and asked how I was. We started messaging and then began seeing each other. I was cautious because he had only recently moved out. The split was mutual and they are still friends. However he has struggled to deal with not seeing his kids every day and they still do things as a family, days out etc. He says they are friends but there’s nothing romantic there anymore and hasn’t been for a long time. But he also admitted she wouldn’t take it very well if he knew he was seeing someone else. He has told me he is still trying to figure out his new life. I have said to him several times it would be easier if I wasn’t involved. He kind of agrees but says he can’t stay away from me. As it’s now 8 months I have been seeing him and nothing has changed, do you think he needs some alone time and I need to remove myself from the situation? Any advice would be appreciated. Ange

OP posts:
Angeanon · 23/04/2018 22:35

It’s definately helping !! For all the bad though there was good. We had fun together, we could talk all night and the chemistry was amazing. When we were together I saw a glimpse of what could be. But talking about the bad makes me feel relieved that I’m not on this rollercoaster anymore.

OP posts:
PookieDo · 23/04/2018 22:45

We had good times but they were more the parts where we were doing things as good friends, like common interests. Sex was good at times but he also had funny ideas about that sometimes

Angeanon · 23/04/2018 22:50

How do u mean funny ideas? If you don’t mind me asking? We both said our sex is the best we have ever had. Another reason I stuck around.

OP posts:
PookieDo · 23/04/2018 23:08

Just how he had particular ways he wanted it to be, hard to explain. Like he was very much in control of it and I was more of a willing participant whereas actually I quite like being in control too

Mousefunky · 23/04/2018 23:11

Leave him. He may get back together with her, he may not but either way he is clearly still pining over her and hasn’t yet moved on or even got his head straight. I’m afraid to say that you are his rebound and you honestly sound lovely and worth so much more. Go get it girl and leave this guy behind.

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