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Original poster

OLD and Brexit

50 replies

Killerquestion · 18/04/2018 15:12

Have just joined a fairly respectable OLD site and have been chatting away to someone who revealed he voted for Brexit. I voted against. My initial interest has been well and truly dampened.

Do you think you could go out with someone who voted and had completely polar opposite beliefs to you politically (and not just on Brexit), even if you liked other things about them?

OP posts:
MaudlinMews · 18/04/2018 15:37

For me, it would depend entirely why they voted to leave. If they were concerned about corruption in the EU and loss of sovereignty etc. and had given the situation considerable thought then yes I could see myself dating them. If on the other hand they were badly informed and talked only of immigrants then no, I'd not be convinced we had much in common, let alone enough to form a relationship.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/04/2018 15:40

There have been the sum total of two people who voted Brexit I've actually thought may have some points. Both online. I have engaged with hundreds online and IRL about it. So the probability of him being someone I could date would be about 1%.

Does he look like Idris Elba? Then it might be worth checking him out.

hellsbellsmelons · 18/04/2018 15:41

Same as previous poster.
A lot my friends and family voted to leave but they gave some valid reasoning (not good enough really but that's up to them)
I'd not drop them just because of that.
Never discuss politics or religion.
That's what I was always told.

dinosaursandtea · 18/04/2018 16:06

Would never date anyone who voted for Brexit. Differences of opinion are one thing, but I couldn’t date someone who was at best stupid and at worst - and most likely - racist.

Original poster
Killerquestion · 18/04/2018 16:11

Just checked his profile picture. Definitely not Idris Elba.

OP posts:
Dissimilitude · 18/04/2018 16:12

Each to their own, but if you want to date only in your own ideological pool then go right ahead - that's up to you.

Personally, I'd consider myself closest to a Bennite on Europe. One only has to read the work of people like Yanis Varoufakis or Mark Blyth to realise that the idea that the EU is remotely progressive is a complete and total fantasy.

It's an engine of wealth transfer designed for German wealth and French political power. What happened to the Greeks is absolutely shameful.

You don't have to be a Tory to want to see this institution gone.

Theworldisfullofgs · 18/04/2018 16:21

I'd find it difficult.
And my reading of Mark Blyth is he doesn't like the Euro but brexit is trumpism and not a great idea at all.

Dissimilitude · 18/04/2018 16:28

Of course, look, both Mark Blyth and Varouakis both felt like that, ultimately. I simply reject the assertion, however, that Remain was the only option for reasonable people.

Plenty of honourable, smart people intensely dislike the EU, for a whole host of very justifiable reasons. It was totally possible to arrive at the idea that Leave was the best option, and not necessarily be stupid or racist.

I'm sure plenty of stupid and racist people voted leave. I'm also certain plenty of ignorant and pious people voted Remain, yet have no idea of the true nature of the institution they backed.

Adora10 · 18/04/2018 16:31

Diss, 100%. Are you a politician cos most of them start a sentence with Look lol....

WesternMeadowlark · 18/04/2018 16:37

Polar opposite, no, but individual policies, results, and votes aren't always about that.

Brexit being a perfect example. I would never date anyone right-wing, because of the way right-wing policies have affected me - and do/will affect me - personally, not just how they affect other people.

I don't see how I'm supposed to believe that someone who's in favour of me having a significantly lower quality of life - for no good reason, since the same policies that cause that also damage the economy - cares about me at all.

But I've known a few lefties who were/are Leavers and who talked passionately about things like imposition of austerity, and how they felt the immigration situation prioritised white Europeans over non-white non-Europeans, and their fear of a Remain vote acting as a tacit approval of TTIP, stuff like that.

I voted Remain, but don't consider myself a Remainer at all, because there were such wildly different arguments on both sides that that would make no sense to me. My position is more that the referendum was a distraction that should never have happened in the first place.

So I guess my point is that a yes or no answer to an individual policy doesn't always tell you whether someone's political beliefs are that different to yours.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 18/04/2018 16:39

And the prize for the most tenuous Brexit link goes to......

LastOneDancing · 18/04/2018 16:50

I'm a remainer, married to a brexiteer. He had his own non-xenophobic reasons for voting that way, but it transpires he didn't have the full picture of what we'd lose coming out of Europe - just like everyone else.

We don't really talk about it. If we were passionate policians, it might be an issue. As it stands we both like tense crime dramas, good food, laughing and our children which feel more important grounds for our relationship

Although one of our friends genuinely couldn't understand how we were still together Hmm

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 18/04/2018 16:55

@dinosaurs sweeping generalisation! Not everyone who voted for Brexit is a racist.

I know some very well educated and well informed people who voted leave. They are in no way racist and it had nothing to do with immigration.

xpc316e · 18/04/2018 17:05

If you never want your viewpoint challenged, then go ahead and surround yourself with a circle of like-minded folk. Occasionally it does us good, I think, to have someone come up with an opinion contrary to one's current thinking. It makes one check one's standpoint on a matter and a couple of times has resulted in a change of heart for me. Each to his own though.

SevenStones · 18/04/2018 17:09

I have very strong feelings about this so I doubt I'd be able to date someone who voted Leave. I'm lucky enough to have dual citizenship with an EU country and fully intend to continue making the most of that. I will always consider myself to be European (rather than British or English), and despite its problems the EU to me is a solid manifestation of my values and beliefs about that European citizenship. I also fully intend to live in other EU countries when I'm better placed to do so, and Mr Leave would be well and truly left behind.

I can see how people who don't have strong feelings are better placed to accept and happily date someone with very differing views, and that's fine, we each have things we're passionate about and things we can shrug off as not that important, but for me this particular issue is a deal breaker.

Darkbendis · 18/04/2018 17:12

I would not date someone who voted for Brexit. Yes, my family and my circle of friends is mainly made up by like-minded people, and it's already getting smaller as some people we know have already left because of Brexit. It's quite likely a few more will have to leave in the next couple of years.

SevenStones · 18/04/2018 17:14

If you never want your viewpoint challenged, then go ahead and surround yourself with a circle of like-minded folk.

I think deciding whether or not to date a person who voted Leave because the ultimate idea is to find a person and make a life together with them in the future for hopefully the rest of your lives is a radically different scenario to having every last friend and acquaintance agree with you politically and ideologically...

Amomentofbeauty · 18/04/2018 17:18

I would absolutely never date someone who voted Leave. Never. Couldn't do it.

Flampingu · 18/04/2018 17:19

I thought this was going to be about the ethics of seeking an EU National to marry on OLD for passport purposes. As yet I’ve been unsuccessful.

SevenStones · 18/04/2018 17:23

@Flampingu

Oh that made me laugh! I really feel for people who have no easy way of retaining their citizenship when they want to. Sad

Pinkvoid · 18/04/2018 17:24

Given the sheer anger leave voters caused me following the result, I could not date a brexiter. I also could not date a Tory. IMO political views have a direct link to moral views and those do not marry up with mine therefore we are incompatible.

I don’t live in an echo chamber, I have and will date people with opposing views but not politically. I’ve only ever dated left wingers.

mostdays · 18/04/2018 17:27

No, I really couldn't. I have some friends with very different politics and we argue and disagree and it's fine because we both respect the other's right to a different view, but it wouldn't work at all for me to have a partner with significantly different political beliefs.

(I'm married to an EU National, I don't have any right to a passport from his country though. Which is a bloody shame.)

Original poster
Killerquestion · 18/04/2018 17:49

This is all moot now anyway. Just as I thought we were getting on (ignoring politics), he's just said ... and I am sure you can guess what's coming, can't you? .... "technically, I am still married. But we are separated and I hope to divorce soon." Translates as "I'm married, and my wife doesn't know I am on here".

@flampingu - I may just marry you! :)

OP posts:
Theworldisfullofgs · 18/04/2018 17:54

I happily have friends with v different views. I couldn't date with a view to a ltr with someone who held v different values. (brexit is v values based)

Dissimilitude · 18/04/2018 17:56

I also heard Brexit voters kick puppies, leave the toilet seat up, and skip queues at the post office!