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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Have I been too honest or would you be ok receiving a text like this?

80 replies

Ridiculouslyso · 17/04/2018 20:14

When I told someone I've been seeing he gives me butterflies. Not sure now if that's a comment to cause him running for the hills?! Obviously had no reply to my text earlier saying that!

To put into context, FWB that I've been seeing for a few months on and off (complicated etc, but pretty good together).

OP posts:
MaiaRindell · 18/04/2018 17:25

I would definitely take butterflies to mean excitement not love.

mamahanji · 18/04/2018 18:09

I've had butterflies that were just pure physical attraction. Not love. Not even romantic.

I wouldn't take it as 'I'm falling in love with you'.

BitchQueen90 · 18/04/2018 18:24

Lovemusic not true at all. As I said I've had one for going on 4 years and neither of us has fallen for the other, in fact we've both been on dates with other people during that time with no issues at all.

lemonsunshinecake · 18/04/2018 18:39

Fanny gallops 🤢🤢🤢🤢😊

JustOneMan · 18/04/2018 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moofolk · 18/04/2018 19:18

I was going to suggest you say the butterflies were a bit lower than your tummy but who could say it better than Minge twinge or fanny gallops??

darnsarrf you've made my day I am pinching these phrases.

Original poster
Ridiculouslyso · 18/04/2018 19:49

Thanks everyone for your input. I'm going to leave it at that for now, I suspect he's scared off but who knows, I'd actually be delighted to receive the equivalent message from him!

OP posts:
Swimagainstthetide · 19/04/2018 08:37

I think gallops is worse!

MaiaRindell · 20/04/2018 11:36

@Ridiculouslyso Any update?

Original poster
Ridiculouslyso · 20/04/2018 11:38

No reply, no contact. How not to go about things eh!

OP posts:
FlippingFoal · 20/04/2018 11:41

Yay someone has adopted my fanny gallops phrase!!

MadMags · 20/04/2018 12:32

Aw, sorry @Ridiculouslyso

MaiaRindell · 20/04/2018 12:43

That is a shame @Ridiculouslyso. Are you going to try to salvage things? You could send a quick 'My fanjo still has butterflies'??

Kittykat93 · 20/04/2018 12:45

I'm sure he'll get back in touch. How often do you usually contact eachother ?

Sharon1983 · 20/04/2018 12:52

I am 11 weeks pregnant been extrememly sick...hospitalised twice and now thankfully starting to feel better. My husband now thinks this is a sign to get some action. Honestly i cant bring myself to it as I’m more concerned about the baby. He does understand but i feel as though im being unfair.
Help!!

MadMags · 20/04/2018 13:21

Jesus! Don’t text him again reiterating anything!!!

@Sharon you need to start your own thread so people can advise you properly.

Original poster
Ridiculouslyso · 20/04/2018 13:26

Not a chance of me messaging again MadMags don't worry. Feel enough loss of pride as it is! I am pretty certain i won't hear back.

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 20/04/2018 14:03

Not super nice of him, if you get a text from someone which you (mistakenly in this case) read as a declaration of love, surely even if it's massively awkward you don't ignore it! If I suspected unrequited feelings on a FWB's side I'd want to get things in the open asap. In fact I'd wager he didn't actually misunderstand it because it'd be too callous just to ignore it if so.

You could send a quick 'My fanjo still has butterflies'?? Grin (or even include the ?? at the end of the text to add that perfect sheen of neurosis)

fluffycorn · 20/04/2018 14:46

I much prefer the term fanny flutters

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/04/2018 14:54

Ridiculouslyso, I think you're doing the right thing by not texting again. I also got the distinct impression that you really, really like this man and your later post saying that you'd be delighted if he responded in kind, confirmed that.

It may be that you don't hear from him again for a while... perhaps he will then get in contact again when his views change and be looking for a relationship then as he knows you - and now knows how you feel (sorry!). I can't see you going back to FWB with this man again but who knows what the future holds?

Keep off your phone (for him) and be cool. Find other 'friends' and really don't post about any feeling other than relates to your health (not your emotions!), again.

Original poster
Ridiculouslyso · 20/04/2018 16:12

Thank you Lyin you may well be spot on if I delved into my feelings properly. At the moment feel too embarrassed and disappointed! Shall update if I ever get a reply....thanks all

OP posts:
Somethingridiculous · 24/04/2018 08:20

Did you ever hear back from your fwb?

Original poster
Ridiculouslyso · 24/04/2018 09:12

Hi from one ridiculous to another Smile. I just got a generic text almost a week later which I haven't replied to, no acknowledgement of my previous butterflies message. It's over.

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 24/04/2018 09:18

What sort of generic?
I think it’s redeemable, you can tell him how you do ( and don’t) feel.
I have to confess I’m invested, I want you to have lots of good sex with this man that you fancy!20 if nothing is a loooong time.

Original poster
Ridiculouslyso · 24/04/2018 09:33

Just a well done on an achievement I'd put on social media. A measly few words!

OP posts:
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