Have I been too honest or would you be ok receiving a text like this?

[Ridiculouslyso]

When I told someone I've been seeing he gives me butterflies. Not sure now if that's a comment to cause him running for the hills?! Obviously had no reply to my text earlier saying that!

To put into context, FWB that I've been seeing for a few months on and off (complicated etc, but pretty good together).

Oh dear, you seem to have experienced the wrong emotions

You should have been a bit more pronographic

pornographic (Although pronographic sounds fun)

Imo Fwb = sexual feelings only

So he could have interpreted this as he gives you an upset stomach!

LEM that made me laugh!

OP hope he responds and all is ok

If I read you correctly you genuinely simply fancy the pants off him but have accidentally sent a text implying that you lurrrve him. If so he’d be entirely reasonable to be a bit wary (as you would be if the situation were reversed) and I think you could reasonably send a clarification.

“Just read that last text back and it looks a bit odd! Meant in a lust way not a soppy way!”

Monty27 😂

It's all a minefield isn't it! I just meant by the butterflies and gallop message (ill advised, now I can see that!) that I fancied the pants off him - no feelings or love talk involved. I think it would be too much to send a clarification text nearly 24 hours later, do you not think?!

FWB is a very tricky situation as it needs to be perfectly equal in terms of the two individuals involved prioritising each other the same amount for it to work well. And if it is no-go to discuss any feelings how do you even know that you are on a level footing?

There shouldn’t be any need to discuss feelings with a fwb though, because there shouldn’t be any!

Angel. I get what you are saying but what if one of you wants to hook up / get together and suggests when they are free, and the other says they have something on / or aren't free / or doesn't respond. That is unbalanced surely? Not a feelings thing but a prioritising thing.

OP I have a successful FWB, been going on for almost four years. If he says he's not available on a particular day then that's fine, I don't think anything of it. We just arrange a different one. No need for talking about "priorities" or whatnot - we both have other things going on in our lives, I would never cancel any plans I already had to see him.

Sounds like you're overthinking things a bit. FWB is just supposed to be fun and nothing more, that's how I treat it.

What exactly is a fanny gallop? Lol
I’ve never heard that before in my life.
As for the butterflies you weee honest and said it, stand by it. Don’t worry about it too much. Xx

Brilliant. I suppose I like to know where I stand. Thank you!

You’re not being clear. Do you have feelings for him or not?

Oops pressed send too soon!

Because if you do, he might too and this could be the catalyst for a discussion.

If you don’t, and it sends him running then you’ve only lost the occasional shag which I’m sure you’ll find elsewhere :)

I like him and fancy him a lot. No deeper feelings.

The Gallops means diarrhea here

RidiculouslySo no I don’t think that’s unbalanced at all, nor is that a feelings thing. That’s just getting your diaries matched up. A fwb isn’t a relationship so it’s perfectly ok for the other person to just say “no that’s not convenient, sorry”, the other person doesn’t need to take offence because they’ll no doubt say the same thing at some point.

I get wanting to say “you’re really hot” to a fwb, but I wouldn’t do it if I were you, it’s really open to (mis)interpretation!

I thought the gallops was diarrhoea as well! If I got that message I'd think that the butterflies I'd given the sender had given them the trots!!!

Wouldn't worry about it too much - and wouldn't bother trying to clarify it unless he gets in touch and asks.
But if he runs off, don't let it bother you. 'Dick is abundant and of low value'.

Asking if someone is free to meet up isn’t having feelings though!

Will you be bothered if you never hear from him again?!

It actually would bother me if I didn't hear from him again as he is the first man I have truly fancied in 20 years. I couldn't be FWB with someone I didn't fancy and like as a person.

If it’s a FWB thing then you probably have scared him off. FWB never ends well as one of you always ends up falling for the other (quite often the female). To me if someone said ‘you give me butterflies’ I would assume they have strone feelings for me.

From what you say here, I think it sounds as if you do have feelings for him, although I appreciate that you say you don't have deeper feelings. But the phrase "fancying the pants off him" makes me feel wary for you.
I suppose I am thinking back to my experiences with FWB, years ago. I fancied them when they were in front of me but when they were away from me I didn't give them a massive amount of thought.

I think that's a fairly lighthearted thing to say, you didn't ask him to marry you! If he overreacted to that then perhaps he is erring more on the side of friendship? I would follow it up with something fairly neutral, maybe about something funny you've heard that you know is relevant to something you both likel, so that he doesn't think you're waiting for him to respond to it, and move on, either with him or without!