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Original poster

Time in relationship

28 replies

kolakube1975 · 16/04/2018 22:26

Hi all

I have been with my new partner for around 5 months (which I am aware is no time at all!) and am having some trouble with the speed our relationship is going as I think it is moving quite fast.

How long were you with your partners before you: were official, moved in together and/ or got married? How long have you been together now?

I know that every relationship is different but interested to hear other people’s experiences.

TIA x

OP posts:
polkadotpixie · 16/04/2018 22:29

Moved in together after 2 months, engaged after 2 years & married after 3.5 years

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 16/04/2018 22:29

Official - pretty much straight away.
Moved in together 17 months
Married 17 months (didn’t live together before marriage)

Now together - 19 years.

And just to freak you out even more - I was a grand total of 19 when we got together.

Brokenbiscuit · 16/04/2018 22:31

Not sure how long before we were "official", or even what that means tbh.

3 years before we moved in together (of which one and a half years were spent in a long-distance relationship - well, long-ish, anyway!).

Around 5 years before we got married.

We've been together for 23 years in total.

Helpmeplan · 16/04/2018 22:31

Together 24 years this year. Moved in 20 years ago, getting married next year (only for legal reasons). Babies 18 and 17 years ago.

RepealRepealRepeal · 16/04/2018 22:31

I'm so not what you want to hear, but we were together for about four months before we moved in together. We're coming up on four years now with 4 kids between us. I'm fully aware that we're very lucky that it's working out, but it was a bit like that from early on. About a month in we were talking every day and seeing each other at least three times a week.

I'm very happy with my relationship and the speed it progressed as it felt very natural for both of us, but it isn't for everyone.

Youvegotafriendinme · 16/04/2018 22:33

Got engaged after 3 months
Moved in together after 5 years
Married after 10 years
Been together 14 years now and we’re 18 when we started dating

Smeaton · 16/04/2018 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FindTheSilverLining · 16/04/2018 22:37

Got engaged very quickly (5 months!!) but didn’t move in together until 13 months due to circumstances. Engaged for 21 months so got married having been together just over 2 years. Married for 8 months now and very happy.

Wouldn’t recommend a quick engagement though... I felt it put unnecessary pressure on our relationship and felt very judged by my friends and family (I know this shouldn’t matter but it bothered me!).

Cmcc2206 · 16/04/2018 22:38

We had 2 dates then Apart for 10 months
Back together 10 weeks - engaged
Living together within 2 months
Married 15 months after getting engaged
Celebrating 20th wedding this year and two DS (15 & 13). Still as happy as day 1.
When u know - u know - time is irrelevant 😻

hamburgers · 16/04/2018 22:44

Official: after the second or third date I think

Moved in: 4 or 5 month mark

Married: after 3 years

Have been together: 4.5 years

AnaViaSalamanca · 16/04/2018 22:45

If you feel it's too fast then it is too fast!

For me, official from the beginning I guess. Moved in after six months although I had my own place for over a year later. Together 9 years.

BlondeB83 · 16/04/2018 22:50

Moved in unofficially after about a week (as in he didn’t go home much after we met)! Officially moved in after 3 months, married after just under 3 years.

BeanJen · 16/04/2018 22:51

Moved in together after 1 month, engaged after 2 years married 6 months after that.
You shouldn't compare your relationship to anyone else's though. The only thing you need to pay attention to is how you feel about it. If you think it's too fast for you then it is.

TeeniefaeTroon · 16/04/2018 23:21

Moved in together after a month, engaged after 4 years and married after 18 years 😁

Dimael · 16/04/2018 23:51

Doesn’t matter about anyone else’s relationships what matters is what you want.

mindutopia · 17/04/2018 02:48

We decided we were serious enough to think of each other as boyfriend and girlfriend after 3 months.

Moving in together though was a bit tricky because we met while expats working abroad in a country where we couldn’t really live together and then our home countries are an 11 hour flight apart. So after 6 months together we both moved home when our work commitments ended and were long distance for the next 2 years. We decided we wanted to be together and started planning for me to emigrate so we could get married though after 6 months. So it was slow and casual to start, but once we were in a relationship, it moved quickly to the point of planning a future together. We moved in together officially when I got a visa to live in the UK which was 2 years 9 months after we started dating and 3 months before we got married.

We got married 3 years after we met and this year is our 10 year anniversary. I’m a bit believer that when you know, you know, but things should be going at a speed you’re both comfortable with.

Lifeaback · 17/04/2018 02:57

Me and dh met eachother, were casually 'seeing eachother' for about 3 weeks before he asked me out (we were 17 year olds so it moved quicker than adult relationships). We were together for one year, then we went to seperate uni's, broke up for about 4 months before getting back together. 2 years later after uni finished we moved in together, were engaged 2 years later then had a 2 year engagement. Married 8 years now and have been together for 15.

Every relationship moves at such different paces due to circumstances, age etc but I think the general consensus is if you feel it's moving too fast then it probably is.

QueenofSerene · 17/04/2018 04:14

If you think the relationship is moving too fast then it probably is and that’s okay for you to reign it in.

My first husband and I dated for a year long distance before he moved interstate and came and lived with me, we were engaged after being together for 1.5yrs, had a long engagement and were married by the time we’d been together for 4 years and the marriage lasted 3 years.

My current husband and I just knew from the first date, he moved in within a week, within two weeks we decided we wanted to get married and have kids, I was pregnant within 2mths and we married when we’d been together for 7months. It was super fast but we’ve got two DCs now and have been together about 2.5yrs all up. Couldn’t be happier. Sometimes you do just know..

trojanpony · 17/04/2018 08:29

The key point as queenofserene has highlighted is you aren’t happy and it’s too fast for you.
At 5 months I’ve been living in someone’s pockets seeing them 4-5 nights a week and all weekend, equally I’ve been going a few dates per week.
What specifically are your concerns 5 months would be too soon for me to think about moving in with someone. My boyfriends moving in next month which is fast but right for both of us (about a year)

Cockmagic · 17/04/2018 08:33

Official - 6 months.

Not yet living together (too soon in my opinion)

Been together 2.5 years.

Cockmagic · 17/04/2018 08:35

It all depends on you op.

I'm not the type to live in someone pockets, I have a demanding job and a child so seeing someone more than 3/4 times a week wouldn't be do able.

Do you have children?

Pinkvoid · 17/04/2018 08:39

I was official with my exh after the first date and we lived together within a month. But I was 16, he was 19 so things moved a lot quicker in the naive rush of young love.

With my now DP we were official after two dates so it was quick but we have been together over two years and still aren’t living together (although I am pregnant so this will change soon...)

It’s really irrelevant how quickly other people’s relationships moved. What matters is how comfortable you feel in yours. If it’s moving too fast then tell him you don’t feel comfortable and want to slow it down.

Clueless01 · 17/04/2018 08:48

Started going out together at 19.

Married after 12 years.

Married for 17 years. 2 DCs.

Everyone’s different. No right or wrong here. Though reckon you can afford to take your time still to get to know each other after 5 months.

Clueless01 · 17/04/2018 08:49

(Didn’t live together before marriage)

OakIsBetterTho · 17/04/2018 08:57

21 and 23 when we started seeing each other.
Exclusive after 2 months, moved in together after 8 months, likely to get engaged in the next 12 months I would think. Have now been together 2.5 years.

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