Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it even possible to forget to feed your dog?

42 replies

Debbierocket123 · 16/04/2018 11:52

This sounds ridiculous but here goes...

My partner and I got a puppy last year. We agreed beforehand that he would take care of food and meals and I take care of everything else. However, my partner keeps putting off going to the butchers, leaves it too late and tries to get me to go instead. It's the only thing he has to do for this dog and I feel like I can't rely on him. I've told him how I feel and nothing changes. I'm surprised he's being this irresponsible and it concerns me. :'(

OP posts:
Bananalanacake · 16/04/2018 11:54

Why don't you swap. You do food and he does everything else.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 16/04/2018 12:00

As a one off, yes it's possible. Well I've fed mine maybe 1.5 hours late I've never forgotten to feed them entirely they wouldn't let me, every once in a while I'll forget to place the order but that's not an issue as I place it when the bag's half gone (so approx 9 days left) & the feed merchant I get it from are based round the corner from me so delivery is normally same day if it's in stock 3 days if it needs ordering (rare as they know when I'll order even if I am late doing it). If he's doing it all the time it sounds like he just doesn't want to do it.

RafikiIsTheBest · 16/04/2018 12:03

What are you feeding the dog from the butchers?
Could you get him to look at ordering the food online, plenty of places sell balanced raw dog food, all you have to do is put it in a bowl. Most of these places all so sell the bits for DIY, like bones, ears, whole animals, chunks of meat, organs etc if you/your DP prefers to do it that way.

If the dog was a joint decision and that's what he agreed to then I think you should stand firm on him doing the legwork of this part. Does he actually feed the dog? I thought by the title you were saying he forgets to feed the dog, sounds like he's just too lazy to sort out getting the food in.

Debbierocket123 · 16/04/2018 12:04

I work from home so it makes sense I do the walks/vets/baths etc.

Yes, he does it every time since we got him.

OP posts:
Debbierocket123 · 16/04/2018 12:07

We feed him raw food from the butchers because he really likes that stuff. and it's cheap :) I have said to him he can order it online and he even bought a bulk load of food from the butchers but just can't be bothered to pick it up so our dog goes hungry. It's not like he forgets because he tells we haven't got any food, but does nothing about it. I don't' understand I'm at my last tether :(.

OP posts:
sirlee66 · 16/04/2018 12:14

Would it be worth getting a big bag of high quality dry food? May not be the diet you want for your dog but if it's in the house, atleast Pup won't go hungry?

Cricrichan · 16/04/2018 12:17

How is he with other household chores? Who does the food shop and cooking?

PattiStanger · 16/04/2018 12:19

Of course it is, I've forgotten more than once, it's not ideal of course but it does happen. Luckily the dog has had any lasting damage.

I suspect your issue here isn't really about the dog though is it, it's a symptom of other problems

Please don't follow the advice of having a bag of dry food, you mustn't mix raw and dry esp for a puppy as it will mess up the disgestion.

Shoxfordian · 16/04/2018 12:19

I hope you don't have children as well.
If he can't be responsible enough to take care of a puppy then don't have children with him

peekyboo · 16/04/2018 12:22

At least you'll only have one extra job to do once you get rid of the partner.

MyHairyToe · 16/04/2018 12:23

Yes it is possible, it’s equally possible to feed them twice in this house!

IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying · 16/04/2018 12:26

If you have a Labrador it's impossible to forget.

They will stick to your ankles and stare at you and sigh until you remember.

Bubblysqueak · 16/04/2018 12:29

My ddog bangs his food bowl and crys if we're 10min late.feeding him, we could never forget. However, we were always forgetting to buy more food when he was runnig low (lots of late night trips tot he supermarket) so now we have monthly deliveries from Amazon set up on dd so we can't forget.

VetOnCall · 16/04/2018 12:29

Your partner is a useless cunt but regardless of this it's not acceptable to 'let the dog go hungry'. One of you has to take responsibility for it and if he's clearly not going to do it then you have to. This isn't like him refusing to clean the bathroom or empty the dishwasher, you cannot let your dog go without food, so you have to be the responsible one here. If you have literally no food in for the dog then this isn't something you can use to prove a point or wait to see if he eventually goes and gets the food in a day or two if you shout enough.

As for your 'partner', to put it mildly he is irresponsible, lazy and cruel. I literally cannot fathom wanting to share breathing room let alone anything else with a person who could knowingly and repeatedly let an innocent animal go without food through sheer laziness or spite. He's showing you his true colours here and you need to think long and hard about if you really want to be in a relationship with someone like this. Whatever you decide I would certainly never have children with him.

Veterinari · 16/04/2018 12:31

I’m not sure the issue is the feeding - it’s the lack of interest and responsibility. He knows if he slacks off you’ll step up. He just expects you to do the stuff he can’t be bothered with

VetOnCall · 16/04/2018 12:33

Please don't follow the advice of having a bag of dry food, you mustn't mix raw and dry esp for a puppy as it will mess up the disgestion.

Feeding part-raw and part-prepared food is ok as long as it's not in the same meal, and giving the dog dry food is infinitely preferable to giving it nothing at all.

CackleCrackle · 16/04/2018 12:34

Yes another one hopes you’re not planning to/don’t have kids with him, he sounds terribly lazy. Functioning grown ups don’t forget to buy dog food regularly and leave their partner to sort out their chores

rumred · 16/04/2018 12:35

What a horrible man. Let's a dog go hungry? I couldn't like nevermind love someone who is cruel

RafikiIsTheBest · 16/04/2018 12:36

Thought as much, it's not that he's forgetting. He's just lazy and expects you to sort it out if he doesn't.

Personally, I'd swap him the job for something that you do that is beneficial for him. For example his ironing or washing, or similar.
Or if you have separate finances then he pays for some freeze dried raw for those days that there is nothing in the house. K9 Natural is a good brand (or at least was when I looked a few years ago) and is quite expensive so not ideal for everyday use. But good to have pup used to it and some on hand if you go away (with or without pup).

Debbierocket123 · 16/04/2018 12:36

When I say the "dog goes hungry" what I mean is his dinner is late because I will keep nagging until he moves his bum to the shop to get some chicken legs or sometimes I do just go myself I would never let him go without a meal! Our chores are reasonably equal, however, he thinks because I work from home that I should do more...I don't see how that works because I often work evenings and weekends running my own business. I don't want children anyway because of this reason. I haven't met a man I can rely on enough.

OP posts:
Ariela · 16/04/2018 12:36

We had a dog would happily have 3 breakfasts and forget he'd had one from each of us...

peekyboo · 16/04/2018 12:38

Dogs, on the other hand, never forget anything that's important to you. They remember to love you, all the time, every single day, no matter what. They joyfully poop for you every day, warn of the Post and the Delivery, and they remember to take you on your walk.

It's not asking much to remember to feed and care for them in return for all that.

Gottokondo · 16/04/2018 12:47

Please don't have a child with him unless you want to do everything yourself.

Ditzyitzy · 16/04/2018 12:50

Next time he ‘forgets’ feed the dog his dinner. Not feeding a dog because you can’t be arsed to go out would be the end for me! The few times I have forgot and been unable to get to a shop I’ve ordered mine a sheesh kebab Blush, id rather they had that than went hungry.

Isetan · 16/04/2018 13:36

What's there to understand? He doesn't see feeding the dog as his responsibility (his earlier promises were part of his premeditated manipulation), him 'forgetting' is his irresponsible passive aggressive way of manipulating you into doing it.

Why are you with this idiot? I doubt this is his first act fuckwittery.

Swipe left for the next trending thread