What does it mean when someone says this...

[WheelyCote]

That they're not in love with you but they love u more than a friend and don't see u as just a friend

Long story which I won't bore u all with.

Talks to me 3-4 times a day and see me once a week. He lives an hour and half away. It's not about sex as I've put a pause on that since Feb

Please be gentle...my insides feel like vomming at hearing he's not in love with me😧

It means he is stringing you along just for sex and will drop you completely when someone better comes along. Sorry if that sounds harsh, just thought you need a male opinion.

It means that he is not prepared to be in a relationship with you, but he’s not kind enough to let you go to either mend your heart, or get with someone else.
He is lacking backbone and basic decency.
Ouch, so sorry this is happening op.

Thanks everyone...value all viewpoints

He rang yesterday morning. I had a rant at him. Told him if I was that easy to leave he needed to keeping walking, in fact walk faster.

He said he's confused. Doesn't want to loose me out of his life. I asked him why the split. He's never given me an answer. He said it was like one day a switch was flipped and he thought that this life wasn't for him anymore. Asked if there was someone else, did he want other people. He said he only wanted me. I had another rant at him then. He asked to ring last night. Didn't pick up. He texted asking to ring this morning. I replyed I'm not needing any more friends at this time.

11 years and this is what it's come down to. I know it's all part of the break up. Wish I could be over this now. It's nearly 8 months on. Just think I'm getting somewhere and then it sinks in that more. I'm scared of not feeling anything for him anymore and moving on. He was my best friend.

Just rambling my brain contents here

You deserve better than this OP and deep down you know this.
Once you remove this guy from your life you create space for someone better

He rang yesterday morning. I had a rant at him. Told him if I was that easy to leave he needed to keeping walking, in fact walk faster.

That's brilliant. You've hit the nail on the head. He wants to have his cake and eat it and it's not fair on you. It's actually cruel to string you along like this. Reconciliation or fuck off. Good luck you must be emotionally exhausted xxx

Bugger, it is me whose going to have to take the initiative.

He's someone I genuinely love, a great guy, who I love to be around, love talking to.

Last time I saw him I think I was consciously looking to see what was the thing that didn't work. Was it awkward, did have nothing to talk about

It just flowed. Laughed, talked about all sorts.,.couldn't see what the thing was that made us bad.

It's all irrelevant now though because, he didn't, hasn't felt the same as me.

I've got to do this now. Think it's me who needs to help him move on

What am I on!
Forget that he can sod right off.

Didn't value me, didn't appreciate me.
Behind him 100per cent setting up his business and being there when it failed, behind him 100per cent for his next one.

I was a sap. Sod him.

deep down people know what they want, this whole "I'm confused" line is not true.

what he is doing is very cruel, do you want to be with someone who is capable of being that cruel?
That has you stuck, never knowing if you're coming or going?

For your own sanity you need to end all contact, it will make you ill, trust me I know

If you were completely honest with yourself would you say he is in love with you but won't admit it, or he isn't in love with you but he is finding it hard to completely make the break? What do you feel in your tummy? If you think he is in love, tell him you think he is and then don't be in contact until you are confident he has sorted himself out so that this never becomes an issue again and you can have a great relationship. If you think he isn't in love, make the break yourself, cut off contact and force yourself to move on - and it may be that at some point in the future when you have both found yourselves again that you can become friends.

Thank you

Someone who rings u 3-4 times a day, drives 90-120 minutes and then back again just to have a coffee with me. Says they can't imagine not knowing how my day is, says he worries if he can't get in touch that somethings happened. Had something with the house last month that I couldn't cover and he did even though it meant he couldn't get the car he'd planned on at that time (I'm not proud for accepting but i was really stuck)

Is that 'In love'? Not sure I can tell the difference anymore. My tummy thinks he is but then I didn't think he'd leave

Just to add he offered to help and I said no. He rang me on his way to the bank and said he wouldn't take no for answer. Not my proudest moment

Thing is - he can do these things for now. But he always has that get-out clause "we were only friends". His lack of commitment makes it worse that he behaves like this...

I would say he is in love with you.
BUT he thinks he can treat you how he likes.
He cannot.
Like you said 'you don't need anymore friends '
So you have say we can't be friends. No popping in for tea.
No phone calls. What's app
Texting or being friends on face book
You're either in or out.
It maybe not the right time to put this into practice.
But I think at some point he needs a reality check - you sound great by the way. Good luck.

Repeatedly phoning somebody when you ask them not to is not respecting you. Friends don’t behave in this way. He is not your friend. Cut him completely, it’ll be hard for a bit but you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll feel better. You won’t be second guessing yourself for a start

Op: take a look at co-dependency. The situation is not healthy for either of you. Someone has to take a stand and it looks like it has to be you. Trust me on this one, you can either do it slowly and painfully or rip that plaster off. You deserve more, you deserve better. Hes either all in, or all out. I feel for you, the guilt is tremendous, but its not your guilt to carry, he left you remember.