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Original poster

Am i being insensitive

45 replies

jessicasmummy04 · 13/04/2018 09:43

So Fiance was doing something stupid on the other night and laughing i said "not even Channing Tatum could get away with that" response was "go date him then" and he spent the rest of the night ignoring me. I left his house in the morning and have not heard from him since (we don't live together)

I don't even thing Channing is attractive it was just the first celeb that came to mind..

Now i am stubborn i admit so i haven't contacted him but i can also be a bit insensitive so am i missing something i need to apologise for?

OP posts:
Justanotherzombie · 13/04/2018 09:47

I suspect it’s not about the Channing Tatum comment, it about you making him feel stupid.

Justanotherzombie · 13/04/2018 09:48

What I mean is you pointed out his stupidity. I’d say he’s feeling defensive and irritated about that. Bit immature of him but sounds like you had a good laugh at him.

Original poster
jessicasmummy04 · 13/04/2018 09:51

he was doing it to make me laugh and he was laughing himself..

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 13/04/2018 09:52

He's sulking like a small child
Not attractive

BoneyBackJefferson · 13/04/2018 09:52

why don't you talk to him and find out?

Pinkvoid · 13/04/2018 09:52

No, he is being hypersensitive. He sounds like an overgrown toddler.

Original poster
jessicasmummy04 · 13/04/2018 21:44

Arhhh why do men have to be so damn childish.. It didn't have to be a big issue.. 48hrs later with no communication.. I understand I may have pissed him off but seriously..

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 13/04/2018 22:30

He's been childish and yet you still haven't spoken to him, seems to me like he isn't the only child in the relationship.

adaline · 13/04/2018 22:51

But you've not spoken to him either? Aren't you just as bad as each other?

Original poster
jessicasmummy04 · 13/04/2018 23:31

You're right I'm being stubborn and childish.. I just hate conflict especially when I see no need for it :(

OP posts:
Joysmum · 14/04/2018 07:20

I just hate conflict especially when I see no need for it

And I hate it when people can’t show empathy for those who feel differently to them. You might not see the issue but more than half the responses you’ve had point out the issue is with you too. The ‘conflict’ you’re avoiding is acknowledging and apologising for your part in the the situation and I think it’s actually intuitive of him to realise this and stand his ground.

Cobblersandhogwash · 14/04/2018 07:58

This is a big deal out of nothing. Really.

Is he looking for an argument? Looking to break up over nothing?

It appears that way to me.

Chippyway · 14/04/2018 08:10

You are NOT being stubborn or childish

He is!

He needs to seriously grow up. Does he not have a sense of humour?!

Chippyway · 14/04/2018 08:12

And as for you being childish for ignoring him as well

I’m sorry, but if my partner stropped off for this reason there is no way on earth I’d be running after him apologising.
I’d be letting him have his unattractive little sulk and wait for him to get over it and explain how silly he was

If he’d been ignoring you for something bad you’d done then fair enough. But for that? Nah, don’t chase after him otherwise he’ll just strop off easily in the future

TheStoic · 14/04/2018 08:14

Would you be sensitive if he mentioned an equivalent female celebrity?

India1819 · 14/04/2018 08:17

48 hours of no communication over something as petty as this? Are you sure you’re both mature enough/ready for marriage?

bigchris · 14/04/2018 08:19

Aw op what a mess

I'd be the same as you, sulking is so unattractive

lifebegins50 · 14/04/2018 08:32

This should be a red flag to you...having married someone who gave silent treatment, it is an awful way to live.

Maybe you were insensitive (but doesn't sound like it) then he needs to talk to you about it..I assume you tried to talk that evening but were ignored.

A person who sulks/silent treatment often ruminates so the anger builds and doesn't subside.
He is teaching you to never say anything off the cuff as this will be his response.

Behaviour like his is often deeply entrenched as learned from childhood.
Only he can decide if he wants to change.

For your part I think you need firm boundaries, if you were insensitive apologise but don't let his sulking be an acceptable reaction.
I would not marry this man until you and him are sure he is able to handle the up & downs of family life as otherwise you are facing a life of walking on eggshells.

Bluntness100 · 14/04/2018 08:37

Are you both very young? Because you both seem childish and immature to me. Be the grown up and text him or call him and say sorry.

Bluntness100 · 14/04/2018 08:38

Life, I have no idea what you're talking about, did you misread the thread, they are giving each other the silent treatment. They are both doing it. Like kids.

SoupDragon · 14/04/2018 08:40

I'd be the same as you, sulking is so unattractive

The OP is sulking too.

but i can also be a bit insensitive so am i missing something i need to apologise for?

Yes, you apologise for upsetting him rather than complaining about him on a public forum.

lifebegins50 · 14/04/2018 08:56

Blunt, no I haven't misread as assumed and asked if she tried to talk to him - it's why she knows he was giving her the silent treatment.You only know you are being ignored because you try to speak and get nothing back.

Unless you have been with a sulker/stonewaller its hard to get it.

Original poster
jessicasmummy04 · 14/04/2018 10:11

I'm not sulking I'm angry that he's being so damn ridulous and I don't know how to diffuse it without it becoming a huge problem..although I guess it already is.

OP posts:
Sparklynails7 · 14/04/2018 10:17

I think he feels insecure because you laughed at him. Is there anything else to this story because his reaction is quite melodramatic? Or is he just really sensitive? Call him (or text if he doesn't answer) and ask him why he's ignoring you.

Original poster
jessicasmummy04 · 14/04/2018 10:19

Yes he can be hypersensitive about random stuff and i am the complete opposite. Something like that would not have bothered me in the slightest so I just don't understand it.

OP posts:
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