Really keen guy - how to nicely break contacf

[Flampingu]

I met a guy who asked me out for a drink. He seemed nice enough so I said yes. However, since then he has bombarded me with texts and asked me out a further three times despite me saying yes already.
If I don’t reply he then texts another 3 or 4 times and is eager for me to commit to chat over text later which is a bit odd. I just reply to texts when I pick my phone up, I don’t set times! I’ve been told several times I’m pretty which, lovely as it is, I’m finding too full on for a guy I’ve met once. He’s also asked several times if I liked him, I just skirted round it.
I want to extricate myself from this, he’s too full on and it’s really put me off.
How do I politely get out of this? I’m sick of the incessant texts and just want him to back off now.
Please don’t send me to another thread, I just need some advice ☹️

Ps if you’re a daily mail journalist, kindly piss off and find your article for your shite paper elsewhere.

Block him it’s that easy

As directly as possible: this is making me really uncomfortable. Don't contact me again. And block.

Don't attempt to argue or "explain" - he'll only interpret that, if he pestered you enough, he'll eventually get your attention.

It's not rude. What he's doing to you is actually supremely rude. You don't violate people's space (physical or metaphorical) in this way - not in general and especially not if you've met them precisely once.

I think with guys like this you have to be pretty direct so a text back saying something along the lines of "It was nice to meet you and I enjoyed our drink but am not looking to meet up again. Take care"

I am of course a wimp and would just ignore all messages and calls and hope he gets the hint He sounds creepy though so do run away as fast as you can!

Sorry to dripfeed, I didn’t go for a drink with him, I met him through a work thing.

I was worried about being too specific but actually I get the feeling this isn’t an uncommon occurance for women.

Just txt him saying you don’t think you’re compatible. If he continues to bombard you just block him. No nice way paticularly, or you may find your pleasant nature being taken advantage of.
I had one like this and that’s how I dealt with it. I got a slightly blamey, wingey text back but as I didn’t reply to it have heard nothing since.

Tell him your Getting back with your ex?

'Hi John, thanks for the pint & the chat the other day! I can't see us dating though, so let's just leave it there? All the best, OP'

If he responds with anything that isn't an 'ok fair enough', then just block him?

Sadly not uncommon at all.

Do what TERFous said. Having experienced this several times (and received vile abuse more than once for ‘rejecting’ them), the only thing that works is to be very clear and then block.

And, FWIW, I don’t think he’s ‘really nice’. Also as TERFous said, he’s violating your personal space and seems to lack any sense of social awareness. He’s making you uncomfortable and I’d be willing to bet this isn’t the first time he’s done this.

I’m going through something similar with a guy who just would not leave me alone over Xmas. I eventually blocked his number but he managed to send me a message when I was logged in elsewhere just yesterday. We haven’t spoken in over for months. I told him I wasn’t interested and not to contact me again. I find this follow-up very very creepy and rather scary after I’ve told him more than once to leave me alone.

This reminds me of a thread I read a while ago from a guy on another forum that went something like this:

I asked a woman out and she said yes, we had a nice time and we agreed to another date the following Saturday. I texted her on Monday to check she still wanted to go. She said yes. I thought I'd better check on the Tuesday just in case something had come up. She said yes. I checked with her again on Wednesday. She said yes. When I texted her on Thursday to check, she replied telling me she couldn't go. What is it with women, why can't they be straight with you from the start?

Sorry, not very helpful, but I'd tell him ASAP you don't want to go out again. You don't need to give a reason but it might put him out of his misery if you tell him you prefer not to spend your entire life texting people.

‘I’m sorry but I’m not going to meet with you for that drink. I’m uncomfortable with the level of contact from you so please don’t contact me again.’

He sounds a lot like someone I talked to off tinder, blimey it was just too much and we hadn't even met! Just block. He used to ask a question and if I hadn't answered in his ideal timeframe would text the same again slightly rephrased as if I hadn't understood, rather than couldn't be arsed. Can't stand blokes who keep asking what you think of them too, when you barely know them, so odd.

Eek! Sounds very controlling. Maybe cut ties ASAP!!!
You could let him know you've met someone else but was lovely to speak with him etc.. that way he knows he's got no potential to turn it round

Thanks, I’ll be straight if he brings it up again.

To clarify, we met at a work event and he then asked me out afterwards. I’m reticent to block as our paths may cross in future.

I have the EXACT same problem. I am only a week out of a relationship and he is asking me for drinks. I told him no I respect my ex too much to move on after a week and the messages continue and continue. I ignored him and he double texts! I know him from my running club so don’t want to make it awkward. I am going to tell him I want to patch things up with my ex and hope he leaves me alone. The girls from running will have to back me up lol.
It’s so weird to message so much before even going on a date! I have a life leave me alone man.

I’m reticent to block as our paths may cross in future.

All the more reason to block, IMO. If your paths do happen to cross and if he happens to get inappropriately pushy again you'll have laid the foundations for a complaint.

Take it from the person who had to explain to BE why I hadn't blocked the guy sending me inappropriate IMs (because he was my boss and that could be construed as refusal to accept instructions, you dimwit).

Exactly dimael!

Although, it’s really made me think about how I over text now. No where near thIs bad though!

@flampingu Me too. Will be so much more chilled out with guys myself in future! I always wait for a reply before texting back though 😂

And I wake to another load of texts

Block all his means of contacting you.

I would also contact the police now because this from him is harassment.

It’s frustrating, I’ve trked OLD and find it easier to be upfront with it - I don’t know why I’m finding this any different.

(I was meant to be going on s date and the guy texted me constantly - I decided against the date when he sent me s photo of s rock with a name he’d tippexed on it because it was his pet rock p)

So everyone said block last night. You didn't. You wake up to another load of texts.

Do we need to just spend the rest of today repeating all the advice we gave yesterday?

Thanks Shatner - I’m not keen to block given the many different ways he has of contacting me. I was hoping if I ignored him he would just go away. Clearly going to have to say something but I’m not particularly comfortable in doing so.

Grit your teeth and send a message. "All these messages are making me very uncomfortable. I don't see us dating, please don't contact me again." Be very clear and don't leave an inch where he could wriggle in (no "it was nice/sorry/I'm not ready/it's not you it's me" - you have to be very direct!)

You have my sympathy and imo that kind of pushiness is a big red flag for me. It says he doesn't respect your personal boundaries.
You're just going to have to be honest with him and say you don't want to take this further.
I understand not wanting to block straight away if there's a work issue but you might have to if he doesn't accept your no.
Good luck. I hate it when men do this.

It won’t feel comfortable. But that’s fine. You need him to stop bothering you. Direct message saying so then block if he carries on.

This is how men like this work. They try to make you feel obliged to answer them, to look like they’re just paying you a compliment by wanting to interact with you. In fact it’s a means of control. He’s trying to worm his way into your life.

You don’t owe him anything. You don’t owe him a date or even a single text message. He is trampling over your boundaries and encroaching into your personal space.

I’m meek and polite in real life but in situations like these by now I’ve got so angry that I’ve happily sent a don’t contact me again text and then blocked them. How dare he think he has a right to your attention, time and your very self, just because he met you once?!