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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I desperately need help

50 replies

Pearlnecklaces · 04/04/2018 19:03

My life is spiralling out of control, my behaviour is absolutely appalling, I've been having affairs and random sex with men I meet online, my marriage is dead, I can't sleep, my mind is racing all the time and have pins and needles in my arms and hands , I over think, I feel anxious and teary and on the verge of a breakdown
I'm having riskier sex all the time including even being paid for it just to see what it felt like, also bdsm sex
This is so far removed from what I used to be like you wouldn't believe, I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't care if I get caught and don't care what happens to me,
I've made a doctor's appointment for tomorrow and don't know how to tell him what's wrong, I don't know what's wrong apart from feeling like some lunatic is inhabiting my mind
What do I say? I feel if don't get some help tomorrow I'll completely break down, I want my old self back

OP posts:

Pixiemeat · 04/04/2018 19:06

Could you maybe show the doctor what you've written here?

I hope you get the help you need x

OrangeCrush19 · 04/04/2018 19:08

Print out what you’ve written here and take it along. Be brave. Take the help s/he offers. Be honest.
Good luck.

HettySunshine · 04/04/2018 19:09

This sounds really frightening for you op. I echo what the pp says about perhaps simply showing the doctor your post. It's clear and to the point and sets out how you're feeling. It's a really good place to start.

Sending strength x

tigerrun · 04/04/2018 19:14

Maybe call a listening service for mental health issues tonight:

www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline

or try Mind. Then ask if they can help advise how to approach the GP tomorrow to get appropriate help for you.

Original poster

Pearlnecklaces · 04/04/2018 19:15

I don't know if I can show them that, I was thinking about not mentioning the sex part as I'm so ashamed but that's the bit of my behaviour that is so out of control and so not me, my friend at work even joked that she thought I had a brain tumour because my behaviour is so not me
This has been going on for two years but I'm at breaking point now

OP posts:

Original poster

Pearlnecklaces · 04/04/2018 19:18

The other thing that worries me is I don't feel depressed, I feel euphoric a lot of the time with no sense of morals or care and no conscience

OP posts:

forgettingnames · 04/04/2018 19:19

You definitely need to mention all of it, including the sex part. Your doctor needs all the information so that s/he can make sure you get the help you need, and that they make sure you get the prioritisation you need.
Well done for seeking out help OP.

Fettuccinecarbonara · 04/04/2018 19:20

It sounds like my friend during her ‘manic’ periods! She had no diagnosis, but was medicated for some time, probably still is, I don’t ask her, she presents much more stable most of the time these days.

lolaflores · 04/04/2018 19:21

before anything else, just tell the doctor about your physical symptoms. If you can get that under control then get some therapy, perhpas privately if you can afford it.

You are at risk. See the GP. Get anti anxiety, anti depressants. Try and take some time sick off work then sort your priorities.

Joysmum · 04/04/2018 19:21

I don't know if I can show them that, I was thinking about not mentioning the sex part as I'm so ashamed

You’ve got a choice, be honest and therefore more likely to get the help you need, or play it down and hide things and not give the person who can help you the information they need to be able to help.

Your choice.

Antsandhills · 04/04/2018 19:54

Firstly, I would just like to say how brave you are reaching out for help. It can't have been easy but it will definitely be the first step to progress.

A family member of mine regularly has 'manic' episodes which cause him to act wildly out of character and do things that are actually quite dangerous or put his health at risk.

I know it may seem embarrassing to admit to the GP but telling them that you are engaging in risky acts with strangers will actually be far more helpful for both you and them. Remember, GP's hear things like this daily and are in a position to help, rather than judge. By giving them this information and explaining that you are worried about it they will be able to see that you are doing things you may not feel comfortable with and try to find the root of the problem. Problems like this are far more common than you think.

TimetoTalk is another organisation that can help. www.time-to-change.org.uk/about-mental-health/types-problems/

Good luck tomorrow.

QuentinSummers · 04/04/2018 20:02

Yes please tell the GP about this behaviour. It could be a symptom of a mental health issue that can be treated and so they need to know.
Hope you can get things sorted

lolaflores · 04/04/2018 20:08

The other point to remember is that it is the GPs job to listen and work out the best course of action for you rather than judge you or make you feel embarrased. Its their work, they have heard WAAYYYY worse, believe me. You have to trust them. YOu have to trust someone at this point

Original poster

Pearlnecklaces · 04/04/2018 20:21

I expected an absolute flaming, thank you all so much
It's really difficult but I recognise that I need help and that's it's not normal behaviour

OP posts:

Dimael · 04/04/2018 20:29

I think sometimes when things are not right in our lives everything starts to spiral out of control. I found that I start drinking too much, then something else happens. It’s a never ending cycle and you need to put a stop to it. This post tells me you are at the point of wanting to stop this cycle. This is Day 1 and things can change now.

LadyTesticlee · 04/04/2018 20:30

You wouldnt be shocking your gp. They wont tell others except professionals if needed. You need to show the gp your post.

Spottybotty14 · 04/04/2018 21:51

There’s no way your GP will be shocked at all. You must mention all of it so they know what you’re dealing with. Note down all legal/illegal drug use and alcohol use.
The fact that you’re looking for help is amazing and may mean that you’re “coming down” a bit from whatever nightmare you’ve been through.

I really wish you all the best. GPs etc really are here to help us all.
There is a way through this and you are taking the first step.

Original poster

Pearlnecklaces · 04/04/2018 22:10

Thank you, there's no drug or alcohol use though, just myself to blame

OP posts:

colditz · 04/04/2018 22:14

Sounds like classic bipolar disorder to be honest, so you do need to be fully honest with your doctor, as the odd sexual behaviour is absolutely a symptom of a mental illness and not a character failing on your part.

Bipolar is controlable with mood stabilisers, by the way

You're ill. Not morally corrupt

Original poster

Pearlnecklaces · 05/04/2018 11:57

Well I've been and it wasn't very helpful, in and out in five minutes with a prescription for Setraline, I've searched threads on here for advice about it and not sure if I'm going to take it
I was thinking about trying St John's Wort instead to see if that makes a difference
The side effects from setraline seem horrendous as does the withdrawal

OP posts:

GreatThingsWork · 05/04/2018 12:06

St. John's wort has been shown to be clinically effective for mild to moderate depression and anxiety. But I think you need more help than that. Please ring Mind or go back and see a different doctor. The doctor's response is ridiculous, if you told them what you've posted here. Please do try and get more and better help.

colditz · 05/04/2018 12:14

No go back. Sertraline is not effective for bipolar , unfortunately GPs get basic training around depression and when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail.

Were you truthful though? Did you tell them you feel manic, that you're engaging in risky sexual behaviour>?

Original poster

Pearlnecklaces · 05/04/2018 12:23

I was totally honest and told her about the sexual behaviour, I've had an hours sleep, she wouldn't give me anything to help me sleep and said setraline would help with anxiety and therfore make me sleep better

OP posts:

FissionChips · 05/04/2018 12:29

If you do have bipolar then please be aware that antidepressants can make it worse. Do you have anyone around who can monitor you if you take them? Or maybe try a different gp?

Original poster

Pearlnecklaces · 05/04/2018 12:33

I told her I didn't feel depressed at all

OP posts:

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