Normal or not normal?

[MamaDuckling]

So as not to drip feed. DH works away much of the time, back once a month, normally for 3/4 days.

Today he went out to see a friend for a drink. I wasn't hugely impressed (he sees plenty of his mates and has plenty of time to himself where he works). But I agreed, as long as he's back to help with bedtime (DCs are little).

So he comes home, as the kids are getting into bed (too late for bath etc), and he's banging on the door (didn't take keys). I didn't go rushing down because I was getting kids into bed, but as I get to the door - he was only there a minute, two tops, I open the door to find him pissing against the doorstep. Literally through his trousers. He's basically wet himself.

He doesn't seem pissed but then he's been out for hours and he's a massive lightweight. Think he could be hiding it well.

The pub by the way is approx three minute walk from the house.

Is this normal? I'm pretty hacked off but more concerned that's not normal? Can't most people hold it? Or anticipate that they need a piss before they leave the pub if it's that urgent?

It's not you.He is selfish, controlling and invalidates your feelings..I'm sure at times he is nice but probadly when he is getting what he wants.

I recommend you read "the verbally abusive relationship" by patricia evans.It will explain the tactics he uses to go on the attack rather than take responsibility for his behaviour.
Living with his behaviour is so stressful and can damage your mental health.
Sulking or stonewalling is a tactic used to get you back under control...and it seems to work as you fear raising issues that will cause him to sulk.He has also threatened to leave his job, which is another way to silence you.

He may have some insight and be prepared to change but he won't unless there are consequences.

He sounds like a toddler- wetting himself as some sort of protest at you not immediately doing what he wants.

I'd struggle to get into bed at night with a man who did this. You already have children, surely what you want from him is to be a partner?

It's normal for a pisshed to wet his pants. I've no respect or time for drunks so would be fuming too if I was in your shoes.

You don't have to be drunk to wet yourself if you're very desperate for the loo.

As you get close to home you relax your muscles in anticipation of being able to relieve yourself.

I've had to go in the bushes when desperate. I've never just stood there and pissed myself like a baby. I could understand weeing on your own foot trying to go outdoors, or something like that.

DH would have pissed in the garden somewhere rather than making a dirty protest.

He's a great dad, I can't complain on that front. Supports us emotionally and financially

He's only home 3/4 days a month, how is that being a great Dad? It takes a lot more than financial support to be a great Dad and partner. I don't really get how he can provide emotional support from the other side of the world either.

Sounds like your marriage is dead and buried, he's never home and when he is he's out on the piss instead of spending quality time for those few days with his family.

Why exactly are you with him? Financial support? He's certainly not contributing anything else to the family or marriage.

Haven't rtft but I did that once, wasn't even drunk. You get to the front door and start to feel relief that in a minute you can wee. If you can't open the door for some reason it's too late, you've started to let go.. result is you wet yourself.. well I did anyway

How old is the guy we're talking about?

I may have missed that but if he's under 40 and has no health issues there's no way in the world he should have wet himself, no matter how desperate he was. If he was doing it on the floor through his trousers that's a full-blown wee. Are you sure there's nothing medically wrong?

How old is the guy we're talking about?

I may have missed that but if he's under 40 and has no health issues there's no way in the world he should have wet himself, no matter how desperate he was. If he was doing it on the floor through his trousers that's a full-blown wee. Are you sure there's nothing medically wrong?

Why couldn't he have taken his willy out and peed outside instead of doing it in his pants...

Flip this situation and imagine the OP had done this - she'd rightfully have been told how disgusting her behaviour is. He is completely and utterly out of order.

Yuck. Absolutely disgusting.
You made him wait two minutes on the doorstep and he pretty much made a ‘dirty protest’, didn’t he? Could he not have at least whipped it out?
He sounds horrible. Absolutely not normal, for those who think otherwise... raise the bar a little.