If your husband called you a cunt, would you leave?

[MinesABabyGuiness]

Every time you fell out?

I hate that word. Honestly I wouldn't leave my partner for calling it me though.
The way your post is sounds like it's said to you frequently in anger. It would be the constant arguing which would be more of an issue

It's the venom though! That is the thing. The word itself doesn't matter - for me the worst thing dp can call me is a pig. As I say - in the past thise things have been said and it was an indication of just how much trouble our relationship was in. It's so hurtful and uncalled for in the context you describe.

Tell him how much it upsets you when you are not arguing. If it continues well then you kniw he is aware it hurts you and then yes I'd be considering leaving. I nearly left but there were other factors and we got through it.

I'm a bit of a feminist and also a worditista. Cunt in middle English meant a female vagina. Notwithstanding in a negative sense as usually used in a negative way re sex workers.
I'm on a mission to reclaim it. So to my mind being called a cunt tells me more about the namer than the named.
If a partner called me that ever, I'd hope I'd have the sense to realise how little they thought of me and flee immediately.

the names are a bit of a red herring (although I could not live with someone who called me a cunt or a fucking stupid bitch with venom - life is too short)

What is clear you don't like him much and he certainly doesn't like you much. Where is this going? your children are taking it on board as a normal way to live. It isn't.

He would be the one leaving
It’s a word I’d never use , and if he called me that in a rage , he would be out the door ( and I’d be devastated )

I agree with LEMOriginal - tell him to stop the name calling, you don't like it. If he continues then, yes, I would consider ending the relationship.

I would't leave on that basis alone but I'd be absolutely horrified as we don't curse at eachother or namecall. Both of us curse like drunken sailors as part of our regular vocabulary and jokingly call eachother names in a joking context but to call each other names like that in the heat of an argument and with malice would probably be signaling the end of our marriage. It's just utterly disrespectful and would most likely change how we see the other person.

If my husband called me a cunt regularly, despite the context or tone and especially in front of the kids then yes I would leave him.

In your shoes since it seems to have become a habit I would say ‘call me a cunt again, I fucking dare you’ right.up.to.his.face.

Or better still just make plans to seperate because your kids will live with that forever.

I've asked him so many times to stop. All it does it seem to encourage him, because he knows it really hurts iyswim?

When I ask him not to call me names, he says don't behave in a way where I need to call you them!

“People only find it so offensive because they think that they are supposed to find it offensive (outrage for outrage sake). It is very old fashioned to be outraged by its use in comparison to other swear words”

Absolute rubbish. People find it offensive because it is a nasty misogynist expression. As is “nasty horrible fucking bitch”

In answer to your question, OP, yes I probably would. And definitely if he said it in front of the children. They are learning how relationships work by watching you. Is this what you want them to have in their futures.

Yes, your DH should respect you.

He’s blaming you for his unacceptable behaviour..

Dh has never called me a cunt or fucking bitch even in a joke. But different people use different words. < Not helpful>

Bloody hell! I'm sorry but I couldn't live like that and if it's happening in front of your children, well that's just wrong and sad.

I'd kick him out tbh

When I ask him not to call me names, he says don't behave in a way where I need to call you them!

Ah, so you're "making him" call you names.

Why are you with him?

Your relationship doesn't sound great. Calling each other names shouldn't be normal, even more so in front of children.

I do personally see cunt as a worse word than scumbag.

If my DH called me a cunt it would be the end, but I find it hard to imagine having n doing that ever..

My children didn't hear the name calling. This was done via text after I asked him to leave to calm down. That was at 11am this morning!

The word doesnt bother me personally context depending. Speaking to me horribly in front of my kids would end it for me.

My ex knew i hated that word. He literally spat it at me and it signalled the end of a very long battle.

I left him 14 months ago and it was the right decision. He's a disrespectful emotionally abusive bully. Not all the time but it's always there waiting to rear it's head.

Our relationship isn't great at the moment. His best friend is going through a divorce and seems to have turned into a knob overnight, taking DH with him.

Yeah, sounds like it's not the word that is the issue but the venom directed at you and the fact this is happening in front of your kids. Are you all ok, OP?

If he doesn't care enough to shield his kids from that then I would be telling him to leave, regardless of the words used. Sorry OP.

I wouldn't accept any kind of nasty name-calling in a relationship. It shows a complete lack of respect.

You use it, he uses it. What's the difference? Your abusive marriage is a different matter, don't ever kid yourself that the DC are unaware.

He sounds horrible, which means either
a) you're both awful to each other when you get riled
b) he's just nasty and aggressive and doesn't care if he hurts you.
Either way, it's not a relationship that makes you happy, is it? No couple agrees all the time (unless one of them's a doormat) but this isn't an occasional tiff over the washing-up.
In answer - I don't know what I would do, people don't make the right decisions in situations like this. But I don't think it would be good for it to continue like this.
the worst thing DH has called me is "fucking idiot" on two occasions. On one occasion I'd lost my wedding ring. On the other, I'd gone off for a trip with the girls when I was extremely pregnant, contrary to his wishes, and ended up giving birth in Brittany. So that's forgivable in my book :)