To feel down about lack of friendships

[CabbagePatch91]

I actually posted this on another thread but it made me realise that others may be feeling the same or could even give some friendly advice.

I've been feeling really down about how little genuine friendships I have. I've traveled, had a few jobs and moved about a bit in the past few years so feel that my only close people are my fiance, my mum and a close friend who lives far down south while I'm based in Scotland. Therefore we rarely get to see each other (maybe once a year).

I have 'friends' who only seem to get in touch to talk about themselves or are frequently enjoying days/nights out with their other friends. I'm currently four months pregnant and feel rather isolated.

I have, however, joined two yoga classes for mums to be and signed up to some apps to engage with and possibly meet up with other women/mums to be. But it doesn't seem to be taking off. I don't really work with anyone who I could potentially be friends with due to the nature of the job and their busy lives.

I feel admitiddly sad for opening up about this. A bit of a pathetic situation at the age of 26. I don't even really have enough close female friends in my life to throw a baby shower...

I honestly don't mean to sound miserable, it's just the way that it currently is. Hopefully, it'll change in the next few years. But I really am trying to find new ways to meet people and maybe once my little once is here, I can get out to mother and baby groups and meet more people.

For all of you who feel the same or similar, I'm with you

I understand. Very similar situation. I joined an NCT class before my first was born entirely to meet some new people. It didn't work out well, just a lot of personality clashes and I ended up moving anyway! However, some people strike gold with their NCT group so might be worth investigating

Mother and baby groups-definitely have to be brave. I had to really put my insecurities aside and talk to people a lot. It took a while but I have a few friends now that, although we're quite different, we get on well enough to meet up, our kids get along etc.

The best friend I have ever made happens to be from a thread on here! We meet up as much as we possibly can, message pretty much every day and our kids adore one another. I constantly feel very grateful to Mumsnet that we met! Are you in any of the antenatal boards? Could be the start of something great!

Finally, my mum and her friends all met and got really close at the school gates. I know that's a way off but that does seem to be the way for a lot of people-your kids make friends, go to each other's houses and then you end up getting friendly with their parents.

I think with everything, it just takes time and a lot of persistence. It can be one of the loneliest periods of a woman's life stuck at home with a new baby so well done for being proactive with the apps and the groups. I really hope it pays off for you soon

Hehe I’m 37 this June @cabbagepatch! I’m exactly 10 years older than you! Gemini here x

Not quite Glasgow but close enough.
Not pregnant though!!

Molly I was looking at joining a local NCT group but it's very expensive and my partner isn't available on one of the dates so I didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb.

Thanks for your words of wisdom and support . I'm going to try really hard.

Scotschic 37 years young

Ha yes 37 years young indeed! I cannot believe I would say years old rather than years young lol.

Thanks 🙏🏼 for pointing it out to me.

I'm 36 in central Scotland (no husband or kids) and also looking to make new friends. I used to have a group of friends but people moved/had children and stopped coming out in the evening which is when I'm mostly free (although the odd lunch out can be lovely). Also feel free to pm me although I'd understand if you young things are keener to find women closer to your own age or who also have kids. I really miss laughing in a group of women.

Oh my goodness! Age is simply a number. I've made friends of all ages and nationalities - we all have something in common at the crux of it.

Happy to chat with anyone

I think we should maybe meet up halfway between Edinburgh & Glasgow, which is Livingston/Bathgate? This is too all the posters on here x

Great idea - a Scottish meet up thread might work?

Yes it would Cabbage, can you please start the thread?

Oh gosh, I wouldn't know where to start. Is there a specific section or location I need to put it in?