So what do I call it now?!!

[Ceirrno]

Today is my wedding anniversary... Except it isn't.

I got divorced last year, so although today is the anniversary of my wedding, there's no "counting the years" anymore... So what on earth do people call their wedding anniversary once they're no longer married?

I feel it still needs marking, but calling it your wedding anniversary sort of implies that you're actually still married...

Argh!

Mine is also, tmi, the night i conceived my eldest. Ive tried to turn it into a quiet celebration of me.

Glass of sparkly wine, out to lunch, let the kids choose a treat. I dont particularly tell anyone but i miss the man i married on my wedding day very much. The bastard im divorcing wasnt around then.

I don’t mark the day but I do feel a pang of sadness, especially the year it would have been our silver wedding anniversary. It dawned on me recently that I have now been divorced longer than I was married.

Oddly I miss being married, even though I can see that we were not compatible. I liked being married and although I talk good job of enjoying a quiet life alone, in truth I feel deeply sad that I will spend the rest of my life alone.

I find it hard that some people (my very loving and supportive parents actually!) expect you to look back and rewrite your whole marriage; that who you married and loved for years was secretly always a bastard just waiting to show his true colours.
I am not showing misplaced loyalty in remembering the marriage was worth a lot at the time, for years. It's not misplaced loyalty to feel that your wedding anniversary is a significant date OP. It's not hanging onto the past. It's valuing your past. And we all move on as best we can.

Exactly.

Each year I mark the day I received my decree absolute.... with a huge smile 😀.

My last Antiversary (love that!) was my seventh post divorce, and remembering it as a significant date gets weaker as the years go on. For the first few years I'd take the day off and go to one of my favourite places (somewhere exH didn't enjoy and never went to with me) drink good wine, treat myself to nice food, and generally have a "life is good" day for me. I've got lovely memories of my wedding day, happy memories of life with my exH. I'm not letting later developments rob me of those- they're mine to keep. I also wouldn't want to still be married to him, so can also celebrate my decree absolute day win win.

Do what you need to do to turn the day into something positive for you, and it's fine to feel sad at the end of something that started out with so much hope.

@Catsrus that sounds perfect

I got married 11 years after my sister, it just so happened that it was over Easter. Same date, same chapel and reception held in the same place ( small welsh town ) Irony is now I am divorced and she has just celebrated her 35th wedding anniversary. For the first couple of years after we divorced I did feel a pang of sadness wishing her a happy anniversary but now I have to remind myself it would have been mine too. Life!

Today is mine

Ceirno - I am lucky , i have a fabulous relationship with dexh..and we tend to get together on our anniversary and celebrate the fact we met each other, we produced and raised 2 amazing happy, well adjusted daughters and we are indeed very good friends. All of that is part of a long marriage, and ok it didnt last as a full relationship ( my dexh was in denial homosexual ) but it was a very good relationship / family etc. we were successful in manner ways and hence we feel it is still worth celebrating.
My dexh husband's new partner comes along to our lunch too..my DP doesnt, not cus he minds he just thinks we are a tad crazy ( which he loves in a omg you are all so kooky way) . sadly his ex wife is bitter, vile and destructive..he never ever mentions his antiversary

That's lovely @theredjellybean

Thinking of you @whatisanamebyanyother

thank you...i am so lucky , and feel for those of you struggling .
i would be nice to yourself on the day, take yourself out if you can, or buy a bunch of flowers, nice bottle of wine ..some little treat and remember the good bits .

Thinking of you too whatisaname.

Wonder if Clintons do cards?

Od course.They are still married

Christ I don't think I ever even register it's the date.

Last year my mum bought her husband a card and present, booked a meal and then was annoyed he'd forgotten their anniversary.

Only it wasn't their anniversary, it was my mum and dads anniversary, they've been divorced 20 years

I wouldn't recommend celebrating it like that 😆😆

My wedding anniversary is in april. My divorce was granted in March.

My first one after getting divorced was tough. I marked it by going for a pizza and a movie alone and congratulating myself on surviving. I hardly notice the date now. Celebrate yourself and your strength

I celebrate the day I left my ex husband every year.