Does your husband help out around the house?

[j157]

I'm at breaking point today.
Me and my husband both decided to have children, they were all planned, yet I feel like I'm a single parent.
I do everything. I do all the cooking, cleaning (well I try my best), nappy changes etc. You name it, I do it.
He doesn't lift a finger. He just fills the house full of crap that I have to clean around.
He has the luxury of sitting on the toilet for an hour, having a nap when he feels like it, and can go out whenever he likes, whilst I go to Aldi once a week.
It's beginning to grate on me now, especially as he does nothing at all with the kids.
I'm knackered, I have a hyperactive toddler and an older one with autism. I need some help, I tell him about my issues and I just get eye rolls off him.
This morning my eldest was playing up whilst getting ready for school and all my husband was going on about is how he wishes he had a "normal" family (my eldest is hard work). I went mad, he said I was overreacting.
Am I overreacting? Is this how things should be?

Yanbu. This isn’t how its meant to be. My husband does more than his fair share (he works from home) he sounds like a lazy arsehole. Sorry op.

I was like this. My (now ex) husband said we should have my eldest adhd/autistic day taken into care as 'we' couldn't cope. I showed him the door.

Ds not day

gingergenius good choice! What an arsehole!

I do the majority atm; but, we don't have kids, I work 4 days/30 hours a week, he runs his own business and works at least 5-7 days/60 hours a week (mostly from home, so he'll put washing on if needed etc).

I am happy to do the majority atm, but only because he works so many hours, plus he does help out without me having to ask him (though his cleaning standards aren't the same as mine!). If he was just sitting on his lazy arse all day and not helping, it wouldn't feel right at all.

Has he always been like this? Like before you had kids? Why isn't he working atm?

Jesus, I thought it was bad when I assumed he worked full time!

Honestly OP, for the second time ever on here, LTB. He has no respect for you and what he said about wishing he had a 'normal' family.... Disgusting.

I honestly, honestly promise you that if you get rid, your life will be better. It might not seem like it will, but it will.

Doing it all on your own is one thing - but it's so much harder when there is someone else there that's not doing anything, and treating you with such contempt.

You sound just about at the end of your tether, and you should be. Give it some serious thought

Anyone posting or reading this thread...please...it’s is not “helping out” when a man cleans or cooks in his own home. It’s is not a woman’s duty to do that stuff! If he was your brother and he lived in a different house and came in and cooked you dinner every night, then yes, that is helping out. If a man lives in a house and makes mess then it’s not helping out to clean it up. We need an attitude shift. Why are women putting up with this?

I do the majority as a SAHP but when he's home we 50/50 and agree it takes the edge off and we both like doing opposite things so it's bliss lol I don't think I could handle it if he didn't help. Dc also have odd jobs to keep everything going (we're a large family). He's also a fabulous cook and enjoys doing it