Does anyone else feel number of friendships decrease as you age

[hibbledibble]

I feel like I am losing friends as I age, and making few new ones. I have plenty of acquaintances from activities I do, but few real friends.

I had children young, and lost lots of friends as they just weren't interested. I try to maintain friendships with long term friends but feel many of them are becoming increasingly distant. I stopped trying to contact one close friend recently as it had become very clear it was one sided, and I couldn't force the friendship.

Does anyone feel the same?

I worry by the time I get to 60 I will have no one left!

Definitely more fragmented communities. I suppose as well some times people think friends have to be the same or similar age to ourselves. Whereas it's easier to make friends if their in the same stage or outlook in life to be friends even if they're older/younger?

draw a dot, then a circle, then a bigger circle, then a bigger circle.
These are the people that are important to you.

I dunno. I've still got my core of childhood and uni friends but I've made two really good friends in the last year through work.
My mum is 73 and has friends coming out of her ears.

Not really. The friends I have now, I've mostly known for many years. Apart from 1 who I met when I joined a Meetup group 3 years ago for a specific activity other friends weren't into. We became good friends from then. Aside from that, the friends I have now aren't people I hung out with years ago although I knew them - but somehow we've reconnected, mostly through doing same things in our leisure time and we know a lot of the same people anyway.

Of the friends I did hang out with years ago I only see 1 regularly, the rest mostly via text or phone until the next wedding or funeral or other big event.

I'm 54. I do think Meetup groups are good for meeting people. If you're specific about picking active groups with similar interests. Dance is good, although I know not all would be into that. But dance meetups seem to keep going, have a lot of meets and socials etc especially jive/swingdance styles.Same with music, and "gig buddy" type groups.

I find these things ebb and flow. I had heaps of friends in my 20s pre-children. Then I moved country and didn't have many friends at all when my son was small. We then emigrated five years ago and I have heaps of friends again. You do have to make an effort though to put yourself out there. I found having a friendly local pub a great way to meet people.

Yes. You have less time and fewer free nights out. In my experience you stop wanting to waste that free time on people you don't like that much so your group shrinks to those who matter
Which is a good thing

I can totally identify with your situation. I am fifty with 3 teenagers, husband, part time work and golf. I only make an effort for a couple of ladies that reciprocate and like to do interesting and fun things. I have let go of those that only call to off load but never ring to wish you happy birthday or just see how you are going. I don't have a lot is spare time to maintain a lot of friends. I do have acquaintances from work and golf. So I am reasonably content with my lot.

I found a lot of my friends in the years have moved away and it's harder to keep close, especially when family are also abroad or away, so times is spent abroad a lot.

My kids are getting older now but still demanding ages and I have met people through the kids. Plenty of opportunities to make friends, just having the energy sometimes and I am not a fan of big groups.

I am 28 and can say I'm down to around 5 good friends, and 2 of them are family. It used to bother me at first but I think I've realised it's not that important to me.
Life is so busy as you get older with kids and work etc. I moved area around 5 year ago and did socialise with new people but found most of them to be just not real friends and would drop me at the drop of a hat.
Like I say I'm down to around 5 but I know they are 5 people I can actually really depend on and I don't want the drama of the rest.

@Puffycat

draw a dot, then a circle, then a bigger circle, then a bigger circle.
These are the people that are important to you.

Eh? No, I've got a piece of paper with a dot and circles on - how does that translate into people?

I've been feeling really down about this lately. I've traveled, had a few jobs and moved about a bit in the past few years so feel that my only close people are my fiance and my mum. I have 'friends' who only seem to get in touch to talk about themselves or are frequently enjoying days/nights out with their other friends. I'm currently four months pregnant and feel rather isolated.

I have, however, joined two yoga classes for mums to be and signed up to some apps to engage with and possibly meet up with other women/mums to be. But it doesn't seem to be taking off. I don't really work with anyone who I could potentially be friends with due to the nature of the job and their busy lives.

I feel admitiddly sad for opening up about this. A bit of a pathetic situation at the age of 26. I don't even really have enough close female friends in my life to throw a baby shower...

I honestly don't mean to sound miserable, it's just the way that it currently is. Hopefully, it'll change in the next few years.

For all of you who feel the same or similar, I'm with you

I'd love to have one good friend close by. My good friend lives in another country and I don't have any friends near by. I know people and very occasionally meet someone for a coffee, but most of my time's spent on my own. I'm happy enough in my own company, but I know that it's good to be in company as well. If we all lived near each other, we'd be able to get together, regardless of our circumstances

Cabbage you tend to make "mum friends" once you've had a baby and sometimes one of them might become a really good friend, its easy to get together with people once you have kids - gives you opportunities.

Coincidence, but this was on a BBC facebook page - if the Editor of Cosmo is struggling then we're definitely all Billy No Mates:

www.facebook.com/BBCLifestyleHealth/videos/10156395039766108/?hc_ref=ARTPDIQ4Fui49jprnov06mew62RmNh4yeM1y68WHfvikEmTMNBdiFrH-NFnVNgwraPQ

But I am thinking of moving away from this area once my (now teenage) kids are older, and I do worry about making friends elsewhere. No wonder older people are lonely.

If you are prepared to go and put yourself out there, there is so much to do, and places to go and friends to be made. I've been out tonight with an 87 year old, (we saw a show)who was telling me about the University of the 3rd Age that has opened locally to where she is now living. She moved house next year, and has made friends with her new neighbour. She was telling me how her smaller bungalow was lovely as it didn't need much looking after and meant she had more time to go out and about. She said there was so much to do, she did feel sorry for me, having to go to work, as I couldn't enjoy all there is out there, and meet all the new people. As far as she is concerned, she gains friends every decade, as she keeps in touch with old friends as well as making new friends every year.