Fuming about guy I used to date

[Peachyfizz]

I used to date a guy at work, went wrong suddenly and he distanced himself and blocked me. He gave me no reason, wouldn't answer my question of what happened. I distanced myself and didn't engage in chat with him.

This week I asked him something and I'm over all of that now and just wanted to be friends. I went to a work meal Friday. Was polite to him but didn't pay he much attention and chatted to other people.
Later that night he had obviously had a few to drink and I was sober at home. He started texting saying why can't we be civil. I said I thought we were ok etc. We just made a joke of the past and he carried on texting me about general things. He started commenting saying how my boy looks so much more grown up in my pic. Giving me compliments etc.

I replied the next day and had confided something in him and asked him not to say anything. All I said was you haven't mentioned that what I told you to said person. Looking back now I was stupid to tell him. But I needed some evidence from him. Anyway he has now blocked me again on this messaging app.
He is now the one making things awkward! I'm so angry. Why has he blocked me I've done nothing wrong. I just wanted to move on. It's like he likes to keep me there dangling. I'm trying so hard not to tell him to never contact me again and to leave me Be. I don't know what should I Do??

Evidence of what? He may think you are blowing hot and cold and just can be bothered any more

He sounds like a complete idiot. I would advise having nothing more to do with him, other than any unavoidable work-related interactions. Don't create more drama by telling him never to contact you again - just ignore him from now on.

If he shares the secret you told him, that will reflect on him not you. If anyone brings it up, make it clear that it was something you'd said in confidence and you don't want to discuss it.

You clearly aren't over him as much as you think you are. Let him go and find your self respect.

What is the thing you regret telling him.
Could it cost you yr job?

Yes if he tells people the secret say it was something u told him in confidence and say no more. He will look bad.

Just forget him, he sounds immature. Do not bother to engage with him on any level other than if you need to talk in a professional manner.

He's just mad because you're not chasing him like he's some sort of adonis. The whole blocking thing is him trying to take control and protect his ego. Fuck him.

I have put through a harressment claim and need to gather evidence. I sent him some months ago which I don't have and asked if he still had it. He knew this guy was harrassing me. I said please don't tell anyone at work but I have a feeling he has.

He is 3 years younger than me and does come across immature. But what is most annoying is I thought everything was behind us and I could move on. Then he starts texting me and then he makes.things awkward by blocking me the next morning. Nothing bad was even said. Oh it's so frustrating. Wish I didn't have to see him. I've learnt my lesson never to date anyone at work that's for sure!

Part of me wants to say f you. But then part.of.me wants to maintain my self respect.

I reckon he only texted you because he was drunk OP.

He's not your friend or anything else.

He sounds immature and only wanting to know you when it suits.

However being happy around people who have hurt you is the best revenge.

I'd sweet talk him for the information you need then you block him
Taste of his own medicine

Well you say you didn't pay him much attention on the night out, so maybe he detected some awkwardness that he tried to sort out by text once he'd had a few drinks.

You chatted for a bit, with him sending the last text of the evening, that you replied to the next day. Maybe he perceived that as you being disinterested?

You then brought up something about the sexual harassment claim, and he blocked you. Is it possible he disagrees with your claim, doesn't want any part of it, fears you could accuse him, or has indeed told the person concerned?

I don't know. I don't think he sounds like a dick, or particularly immature, this is the awkwardness that comes after dating someone at work, and having a few too many on a night out.

I think you need to be civil at work, no contact outside work.

He doesn’t like you
Got pissed and bored so messages you
Next day regretted it. So blocked you.

Harsh, I’m sorry, but that’s what has happened.

Best policy - continue to be civil, courteous and professional when you come across each other at work but have no other dialogue beyond that. If he texts you in future, simply don't reply.

He sounds like a prick. I couldn't be bothered with that behaviour.

In his messages I did say if you were sober you wouldn't be texting he said he weren't that drunk and just had a bit of courage to sort things out. Then he said he has no bad feelings towards me what so ever and never could. I feel he's messing with me!!
The text in the morning to him said have you mentioned anything to the person about the harassment as he doesn't know yet. Because I know he was out with this guy plus other people. Then he blocked me after.

You're giving him power he doesn't deserve.

I know I should have just left it at I thought we were fine and there are no problems. I shouldn't have engaged at friendly convo! In so angry. Part of me wants to tell him where to go but I know that's not a good idea if I want to keep it civil at work

But discussing your (confidential) sexual harassment claim goes beyond the friendly conversation you'd been enjoying up to that point doesn't it.

I can imagine him being happy to chat but thinking 'too far' when you brought that up.

rainy he was fine discussing it because he brought it up at the meal and telling me that this guy had been asking about me in the toilets. He even offered to have a friendly word with this guy for me but I told him to leave it.
Then in the morning I realised he could have said something to this guy in his drunken state so I asked politely if he had. So I don't think he thought it was too far.

I also think he has a gf. Because last time when he started going distant I have a feeling he went back to his ex. He is just bad news and I need to not get sucked into his drama

He’s not going to admit to being as pissed as a fart, is he?!

Just leave it op. He doesn’t want to be involved with you and whatever you told him.

It's hard cz you still have clear feelings for him but maybe consider finding a new job?

he sounds immature

And the OP doesn't?

OP leave him out of any complaint, he clearly doesn't want to help you with gathering information or anything else. Put him behind you, properly this time.

That's the thing I've done so well to get over him and just when I am it's like he's sensed it and wants to put himself back in my head. I can't get a new job they are now going to pay for my study and are very good at flexibility with.my son.
I just need to go back to how it was before and keep it professional.
I'm angry with myself for letting him get in my head again

He saw you happy and chatty and keeping him at arm's length and he didn't like it.
Let's face it,nothing you did that night was uncivil,it was just his way to get you on the wrong foot and get you to engage. It worked.

Odds are the next day he decided either 1. He can't be arsed 2. Remembered he has a gf 3. Asking him about your claim put the idea in his head that he could be next if he keeps playing hot and cold.

He's a selfish child that wanted his toy back when he couldn't have it,

Ignore...move on..

This just popped up when I clicked. I'm confused is this post deleted? I can still click on it