Don’t know what to think now

[Rezzala]

Been seeing a lovely guy for a few weeks. Had sex for first time last night, I asked him to put a condom on which he did. I realised afterwards that he’d taken it off, he admitted he didn’t like wearing them so had removed it.
I can’t decide if this is big enough to walk away and never see him again - maybe because he’d had a few drinks he wasn’t thinking too much about it?
Would find other people’s views interesting

If you do end up with anything from your STI check, please, please report him!

Even if you don't decide to go to police, if it was me I'd be tempted to send him a link to show it is a form of rape. Let him sweat on that, wondering if he's going to get a knock on the door from the police. I'd also try to draw him into a text conversation about what he did before you send it. Truly appalling what he did

Utter shitscrape.

Yep, I'd be getting an admittance of what he did on a text, if you can.

Then I'd send him a link informing me that he had actually committed rape and given me the proof of it.

Then decide what to do. How fucking dare he? Yes, I probably would go to the police if I were able to get a text proof.

Oh and please get an STD check, including HIV.

I am so sorry.

Crikey, I’m really worried now! I’ve got an appointment booked. Thanks for all your support

Out of interest, has he contacted you today, and how has he been? Also, is he English? Some nationalities think it really isn’t a big deal, and don’t care. If unconcerned at what he did, I would make him go for STI testing with me - the alternative being I would report him to the police (even if bluffing). Basically trying to get him to think twice before doing this again - plus you get to know his results.

Incidentally HIV doesn’t show up straight away on tests when recently contracted.

He is a selfish bastard he put his own pleasure, before your health.

In other words "I don't give a shit about you"

You should either report the bastard to the police or tell him you have a STD and that's why you told him to wear a condom.

Run for the hills

To quote the arctic monkeys “What a scummy man”

Friend of mine caught herpes this way :( the guy “accidentally” lost the condom, as he seemed respectable and they’d known each other a while and she was on birth control... she didn’t worry. Then got a terrible fever and he only admitted he’d given it to her after a week of interrogation :(

Oh Lordy, NotMyRealName, lets hope that’s very rare and doesn’t happen to the poor OP who is anxious enough at this moment!

I’d like to visit some kind of retribution on him right now though OP. Just, ugh!

bobs no contact. I opened a can of whoop arse on him so I don’t think he dares
Fingers crossed I’ll be clear

Good. I think if this happened to me I would get tested (after going ballistic at him) and tell him he should too...no lies needed, but might make him anxious. However unfortunately some guys just don’t care.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It would be very tempting to pretend that you had a serious STI but to be honest, I would prioritise your safety. This is someone who sexually assaulted you.

Here's a case where a man didn't use a condom and it was considered rape:
www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/man-jailed-for-rape-after-refusing-to-put-on-a-condom-during-sex-36697498.html

No,a man who did that is an arse. He will never respect you.

It is indeed an offence, as is knowingly having certain transmittable STIs and not disclosing or using a condom, and then infecting them. (I know someone studying this stuff!)

OP, I am sure you will be fine, and you are doing the right thing getting tested for peace of mind

I'd wait 2 wks from the assault to get tested - lots of STIs have an incubation period.

Yeah my appointment isn’t for about 2 weeks following, that’s what they suggested