How does being addicted to MN affect your RL relationship?

[LoveMyGirls]

It's damaging ours and I know I need to cut down. What do you do in the evenings if you're not a complete addict yet?

Ummmm....

Is this for real?
Is so I would say there must be deeper problems with your relationship if you are blaming a website.

He says i am on here too much and wants to spend more time with me, i say he spends too much time watching football this is the only thing we ever argue about so honestly our relationship is fine other than this. I guess i should just switch the PC off as soon as he walks in.

It's not damagin us to the point of no return but every now and again he moans he only see's the back of my head. I don't want us to keep going round in circles with this. Its silly.

We've never been the sort of couple who watch tv together, so he is perfectly happy to do his thing and I do mine. Actually, it keeps me awake longer in the evenings, so he is more likely to see me at bedtime iykwim!!!

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We're moving in a couple of weeks so wont have any internet for about 2-3 weeks i know i will survive and it will do us the world of good, i probably wont miss it as much as i htink i will and i doubt MN will even notice i've gone even though i've been on here about 4yrs.

I try to think to what we used to do before that and erm {blank} I think we had friends who used to come round but now they have their own famillies and lives. Sometimes we used to listen to music and chat. Last year i was working 2 jobs and hardly saw him and he used to work 5 evenings a week.

I can actually remember a time we used to plan to spend wednesday nights on our own because we had people round or he was working all of the other nights!

dh has started to raise his eyebrows when I'm on here and says I'm addicted, but it's quite jokey really, damaging your relationship sounds a bit strong, if it is, then switch off?

Our set up is in the middle of the house I can nip by and post a few words im quite fast at typing and also aware of whats going on around me, at the moment im doing this, watching kids playing and cooking dinner and i'm no-more than 3 metres away from any of it!

Damaging was an extreme word i guess. Affecting it is better but i used that in the title

ok, i got a mini laptop that travels with my around the house... i mnet everywehere...bedroom, kitchen, living, dinner, childrens rooms , bathroom, garden....

my dh says mumsnet is part of the relationship!

Well, like any interest/hobby you have to fit it into your other commitments so that it serves you rather than rules you.

I would say there is a big difference between watching footie and being on mn

Watching footie is a one way process that you can join in (should you wish to!!)

You being on mn is you having a whole other life that he is basically excluded from
If he is feeling bad about it you should cut it out at home while he is there really.

He could feel that you are getting your emotional support from someone other than him which could make him feel excluded and worthless, like he is not enough for you.

Come on someone give me idea's of what you do in the evenings when you're not mn-ing?

I've suggested massage and playing cards theres obviously watching tv but we normally go to bed at 9ish to watch something we both want to watch. I sometimes watch soaps but i'm half in and half out really as they don't hold my attention - maybe thats it, perhaps i've got a short attention span which is why i like MN because i can flit in and out of conversations without anyone minding i'm not there for the duration?!

I like reading alot so it's handy for that plus you can sit for 5 mins while the kettle boils, 10 mins while something is in the oven etc

It doesn't...DH away on deployment. Makes for an untidy house though

I watch tv, walk to dog, go shopping. prepare for tomorrow - iron uniforms, are your bags ready kids? homework? PEkit. bath, scrabble, watch a dvd.

you may notice no outside clubs.

there is a comprimise. when you want to watch "home makeover extreme edition" and your dh thinks it is "girly american cry babies" then he goes on computer becuase he obviously doesn't want to watch tv. I do and he can amuse himself on the computer. if he wants to watchsomething on tv, goes out, plays darts, then i come on.

It's about comprimise. Don't ignore him, he loves you and it simply isn't fair unless its a mutual agreement

Oh as for the joining in watching football if i so wish to - id rather MN that watch grown men run round a field - if i played it in RL i could score more goals in 90mins than they do in a season, seriously ever been down the park for a game the score is silly something like 15-20 so why cant professionals score this much? Its fustrating and the background noise irritates me. on here i can read as well as listen to music or tv.

Im thinking of things we can do together, he's out tonight so he doesn't mind me being on here at the moment, i'm thinking of regularly having evenings together with no pc - obviously when we move we will be unpacking and decorating in evenings, the other day i glossed a door and we sat chatting while i was painting i asked if we can do that when we move as he wont be helping paint the least he can do is sit and chat to me, he said maybe.

I'm usually on here from 7.30 - 9 i guess in between doing out dinner and tidying/ washing/ getting things ready for next day etc

sit round the table with candles and have a nice long dinner and chat and listen to music and have a glass of wine!

We do, do that, on valentines day, we can never get a babysitter for valentines day, we don't buy each other anything but i always make a nice dinner, put music on, candles and steak if we do that every night then valentines won't be so special anymore. I know everyone says its commercial and a load of crap but i like it.

Am I really a freak? Because i can't think of anything to do in the evenings apart from tv, cards, massage and talking with my partner? He won't play board games, we're both too shattered to play the wii, the only games for the xbox are geared for 1 player or boys, like fifa.

We kill baddies together on City of Heroes... or sometimes kill goodies together on City of Villains! Now for me that's an addiction! Before that it was playing games together on the DS, and before that we killed aliens playing together on the Xbox!

Or get dvds of geeky old shows we love, currently going through Babylon 5... happy sigh, though we mostly do that while exercising together.

Otherwise we sit and talk about anything, or one of us reads stuff from the news and we discuss it.

my dh makes sarky comments usually. He calls MN 'nagsnet'!!
I can't get on the PC half the time though as he is on it, using his chess websites!!