Is it me or him?

[tobbay]

So I need some outside advice as I cant tell whether I am being too precious or he is rude and selfish...

We've been together 2.5yrs but don't live together as both have kids from previous marriages. Over the time, many things have happened where I've questioned if im being too needy or being treated badly.

So here are some examples:

Walked up Snowdon and got to a highly dangerous part and were both on hands and knees in snow and 70mph gusts and on a ledge! Obviously decided to turn back but i was petrified and needed help as kept slipping. He didn't wait.... just carried on and made sure he was safe. Another man heard me calling help and rescued me. When we were safe he didnt ask if I was ok, just ran off saying his hands were cold. That was also the reason he couldn't help me on the ledge.

Put all his own luggage in the car and then sat in while I juggled 3 bags and shoes.

Makes me pay half of everything, sometimes even petrol if i go in his car

On the mountain I was struggling as it's Steep! I asked if he would mind carrying my bag for 5 mins which he took but then said it wasn't fair on him so I reached to take it back and caught him on the arm.. he pushed me and said I was a f*** idiot.

Doesn't finish work on time to see me but will finish early for his kids or ex in a second.

Took me shopping to buy his ex mother's day presents and Christmas presents (I strongly think him and his kids should do that alone)

These are a few examples..

What do you think? Am I expecting too much and acting like a princess or is he rude in the way he acts??

Thanks

Fuck that shit. Bin him. Amazed you need to ask.

I'd made up my mind he is awful after the first incident!

Are you happy with his behaviour? I know I wouldn't be, he sounds very selfish and uncaring...

If you're not prepared to put up with it, get out. He doesn't sound the type to change.

He’s a dick.

Selfish arse. Bin.

He's certainly not what I'd call a catch op

Fuck that for a bag of potato chips

His arse would be flying out of this "relationship"

Petrol thing is petty but why shouldn't you pay half for other things?

My guess is that when the OP pays for things she doesn't give it a second's thought but he is actively on the guard all of the time to get every single 50% contribution he can.

It's not you OP, it's him.

That first incident you describe would be enough of a reason to finish with him. That was awful.

If someone addresses you personally with the f word you must immediately get rid of them as they don't respect you.

Definitely him, what a total loser and weak person he sounds.

Wtf were you doing up snowdon in snow if you aren’t able to negotiate it except on hands and knees? Don’t you think mountain rescue have enough to do?

No offence but whilst some of the things your partner does are inconsiderate I do believe you shouldn’t be up a bloody mountain unless you can carry your own bag particular in winter.

But yes he does sound like he is a bit of a dick at times.

Seriously? Bin him. You can do so much better.

You missed an opportune moment on that ledge op.....

Wow sounds like a douche!

I would walk away.

I was just going to say that, April! Shame she isn't there at the moment - I'd sponsor her to give him one hard shove.

He’s extremely selfish, I’m sure you can do 100% better

I’m in for sponsoring !

Ha! Thanks for that and I did think I missed that opportunity on the ledge!

Yes. Writing it made me think what the he'll am I doing but for some reason still feel it must be my fault somehow as he always makes out it's me who is being needy/pathetic/over analysing/high maintenance....

as he always makes out it's me who is being needy/pathetic/over analysing/high maintenance....
Yep - that's all part and parcel of it.
Bin him.
He's a disrespectful asshole and you deserve far far better.
Please raise your bar and don't put up with behaviour like this ever again, from anyone!!!

He sounds really dreadful! Surely you are worth more?

you're not making him out to be much of a catch, it's a ditch him from me.

What the other respondents have written, particularly that of hellsbellsmelons.

Its not you, its him and my guess too is that he has ramped up the power and control antes against you over the past couple of years. Such men hate women, all of them. He needs to be dumped with you telling him this is no longer working for you. Then block and delete all his ways of contacting you.

Work on rebuilding your own self worth and love your own self for a change. He in all likelihood targeted you when you were in a low place yourself and thus more vulnerable.

The whole thing is horrible but what nailed it for me was him calling you a fucking idiot.

Get rid of him he's a twat who doesn't care about your safety.