Unsure what to do

[essieestherson]

Last night I decided to split from my H. He was caught out with lying about something quite minuscule. Rather then admit the truth he got very angry and violent, smacked me in the head (not hard) called me names including cunt then punched 2 holes into a door. All of this in front of the DC 10,4 and 1.

He left and has only really messaged since to be nasty and check when I'm out so he can pick up some things.

Now he's just messaged to see if he can take the 10 and 4 year old to the cinema... I really don't know what to do. I can't stop him seeing the kids but I really don't want them to think that what he did was acceptable and that now they just go out for a lovely evening. Should I just let them go..

What a vile excuse for a human never mind a parent, in front of three children that will now never unseen what they have seen, fuck him wanting to see them, he lost that right when he attacked you in front of them, and he did attack you, all be it not very hard, Jesus woman the man is dangerous.

How are you today OP?

OP, please ignore your mothers comments, I remember when getting divorced in my first marriage my grandmother saying ‘ I can’t agree with this, he doesn’t hit you, he doesn’t keep you short of money’. That was the extent of her standards for marriage and I do think ‘some’ women have extraordinarily low standards, often because they were trapped themselves.

Mother of student

This incident of DV was not isolated. DV is always accompanied by EA. This couple have children.

My belief that this relationship is unhealthy way before this incident is spot on.

And mother yes I will give a special mention to the lifelong damage abuse causes to children.

Yes I do like to point that out. And if you interpret that as me not supporting the victim then that is tough. I’m trying to prevent future victims!

I have in the past asked MN to launch a campaign to highlight the impact of abuse on children.

And yes highly likely that the mother exposed op to DA hence her response to the abuse and hence the fact op is now in an abusive relationship.

Sometimes someone needs to be a voice for the children

Hi everyone. I am very well thanks. I have some very supportive friends who have been a real rock for me.

Thank you all for your support and helpful words.

H is at his dads at the moment. We are not really in contact while I have space and get things sorted.

The children are very happy.

Quitelikely you are right that my children have witnessed me being emotionally abused before. Although I did wise up to this quite early in my marriage and although I stupidly did not leave, I always stood up to it and made clear that their father was very wrong.

I did not ever witness domestic violence against my mum. She could get quite violent herself to us when we were children and only 2 days ago threatened to 'wash my child's mouth out with soap' (which in obviously told her was not okay)

She does have some very warped views and I do sometimes think that my life would be a lot less negative if I went NC with her!

It's definitely much better all round that this marriage is over and hopefully soon things will settle as at the moment things feel very all over the place.

Thanks for the update OP! It's so good to hear that you're doing OK and that you have good friends. Onwards and upwards!

I'm delighted to hear your doing okay Op,you and your kids I hadn't doubted it,but still good to know. And no doubt over time with strength and patience(that you obviously have),you and your kids will be doing even better. x