My Partner refuses to help me.

[BearbearP]

Since the beginning of our relationship my partner has made it 100% clear that he is the higher earner there fore he is boss! I have to clean and do everything whilst I wait him on hand n foot- even when preggers and working in care doing 12 hr shifts 6 days a week I was still cooking and cleaning and serving him, if one week I’ve let the cleaning go abit, he picks up on it- has a go at me And generally makes me feel like shit about it calling me fat and lazy - I had the baby via c section and after being home for 2 hours I had to cook dinner and had no help with the baby at all( even tho I was in pain and struggling) I ended back in hospital with infections - in and out of hospital 3/4 times within the 1st month ( you would think he would get the point that I NEEDED help!) anyway you prob get the point I’m making- I do everything! Absolutely everything! Even cuting his toenails is a part of my weekly chores- he goes to work and comes home and sits in his chair drinking (I wait him on hand n foot) this week the baby has had a viral infection and hasn’t been sleeping through the night I’ve had roughly 9 hours sleep this week! My partners been finishing early so I’ve been hoping he would see I’m exhausted and help! NO he goes to the pub. I said we needed calpol and nappies - he spends the last of our money in the pub instead - I confront him about it and he says “ I’m the one earning money and I go to work if I want to go to the pub I will!” I want to make it clear I don’t care that he goes pub- (it gives me a break) the fact was I’m struggling and I’m exhausted I jut want him to offer me a hand- bath the baby for me or feed him so I can just have 5 mins ( in 7 months his never fed or bathed the baby) his made me feel so shit for “complaining” and I should be grateful I don’t have to work. Which I am grateful- but I feel like a slave- if he truelly cared about me he would help.. right? .. I ended the row with “ I’ve had enough, I’ll find somewhere else to live” whilst he threatened me with” look at the state of ya, I rather shag anyone down that pub then you, and if you carry on complaining I will!” - I feel like shit and want to run away! But I can’t I want my baby to live in a nice loving home which it is... only when I keep my mouth shut and get on with things... I don’t know what to do- will he ever understand? I’m in two halves of leaving and starting fresh but my baby living with separated parents OR sticking around and just doing as I’m told so my baby lives in what he’ll think a happy home- Sorry long for the long post. Just need to get it off my chest I suppose . Xx

If this is real, leave now. Just leave. Or start making a plan to leave if you can't leave this second.

Leave. Children aren't stupid and your child is better off with one happy parent. Also, what sort of an example is your partner setting? Do you want your son to grow up the same? My husband wasn't quite as bad as you describe but it was enough for me to leave with a baby and toddler.

It's shocking behaviour.

Re read what you wrote and ask yourself if your friend wrote that what would you tell her?

Here's my first LTB. Frankly I don't see what other option you have as staying would set a horrific example to your child.

Well the real question is why did you have a baby with him?

Leave

You poor thing, that is awful!
You and your baby are not living in a happy home, your partner is an abusive bully.
I'm sure your partner understands perfectly well, he just doesn't care. Shocking that he spent money in the pub if there wasn't enough for medicine for the baby. Is he an alcoholic?
Not that that is an excuse.
He won't change, in fact the likelihood is hell get worse. He seems to hold you in utter contempt.
There's nothing to stay for, is there?

OMG if that's real leave asap.

I can't believe you think this is a loving relationship.

Leave.

This is not normal and unacceptable

If he made this clear from the beginning how have you stayed so long??

Why the fuck did you stay with him if he was like that at the beginning?

You do not deserve to be treated like this or spoken to like this. He sounds controlling and verbally abusive. He is the typical "king of the castle" type, thinking he has male privilege and you are basically there to cook,clean, produce offspring! He clearly sees his status as much hugger than yours, you should be equal in a loving relationship. If you are able to, you should read "living with the dominator" by oat craven and read about king of the castle! It may open your eyes.

I hope deep down you realise this isn't how you should be treated or what you want from relationship/life. Bear in mind it may feel incredibly hard to leave if your confidence is rock bottom

You cut his toe nails???????????????????????

He spends the last of our money in the pub?

Well, the words ‘made’, ‘your’, ‘bed’, ‘now’, ‘lie’, ‘in’ and ‘it’ spring to mind. Seriously, why you are even surprised that this is the outcome? Wasn’t he giving you enough clues…?!

This is not a happy home for your child. You are being abused, get out now and never have anything to do with this vile man again.please get some advice from Women's Aid and realize that it will only get worse.

what the hell did I just read... Lady please leave with your Baby

Please leave this hell that you're living. Or at least get a plan in motion.

Also...you'd be wise not to have another child with him either.

Could you get a part time job?

What the actual fuck - why are you with this POS?!

----100/10