Well that was a Shocker 😞

[Moonie1970]

Struggling to wrap my head around a situation I found myself in last night , I’ve been having issues with my bf of 15 months mostly due to his insecurities about me going out and having a life outside of our relationship together.
I’n peticular one of my friends he doesn’t like as in the past she has had an active sex life , totally fine she’s single can do as she likes , I get told I’m going to be tared with the same brush if I’m out with her .
Anyway met up for a final is it on or off and I was determined to stand my ground and let him know it’s unacceptable to expect me not to have a social life or friends .
I sat there listening to how the last week he has been upset doesn’t want it over , he’s not sleeping, missing me , but still won’t budge on the issue of me going out with said friend .
Anyway I sat and listened to him go on about morals and he doesn’t understand why anyone would cheat and messaging others proves intent as his daughters bf has been caught doing the same .
He pulls out his phone to show me something and guess what comes across the screen a POF notification not one put 2 , I said well there you go you have broken my heart and walked out crying , 15 months together and 2 days after I said I can’t cope in a relationship with out Trust snd he’s on a dating site .
Now his txt messages since have been I only went on there to see if you was on there , what utter crap ,
Gutted he thinks that little of me that I would go straight on to someone new when I was trying to ressolve our problems .
He’s sorry wants to make it work but what an absolute hypocrite and liar .
If I’d not sign notifications and we made up and moved forward he could of potentially still been on there .
I’m so upset , I’ve ended our engagement and planned wedding just as well really better to find out now .
Just looking to see what others perspective is
Thanks I’m advance

Change your lock, it's pretty easy to do and worth it.

Yes it is perfectly normal. You've had a huge shock. Eat well, sleep as much as possible and be very good to yourself.
I agree about changing the lock, too.

Under no circumstances engage with him. Cocklodger, control freak, hater of women and cheat. You are well rid.

Any way you can send him (and copy it to his mum if he is staying there) a list of the money he owes you and give him a week (or two?) to pay otherwise you will take him to the small claims court to retrieve the money you are owed...

Well done for extricating yourself from such a controlling mysoginistic oaf. And enjoy every day of your freedom without him

Cheating, controlling, hypocritical misogynist.

Lucky escape..

Thank goodness for those alerts. What a narrow escape.

At best he is a deeply unpleasant man who wants to isolate and control you, making your life an absolute misery, forever tightening the contractions until you have nothing and no one in your life but him, and you still won’t be good enough for him.

At worst, his control and lies will lead to even more abuse, and before you know it you’ll be trapped in another abusive relationship, scared to breathe or move a muscle without his permission in case it sets off his anger. And all the while, whilst you are desperately trying to make his life happy so he doesn’t hurt you again, he’ll be having his end away with another woman.

Not a happy ever after in sight for you... except this one! So, well done you it may hurt now but it will fade and you’ve given yourself the gift of another chance at life... sorry, not just one chance, but a million chances, so many potential happy endings for you now you don’t have those awful futures in store for you. So much potential for life to unfold in wonderful and unexpected ways, for you to explore and discover new loves and new likes and new worlds!

And reading that back I realise ‘happy endings’ can err, mean something else too, making my sentence look rather more dodgy than I meant it! But I guess, we’ll, ahem, yes, leaving for new pastures and new relationships means maybe you will end up with many many of those other kind of happy endings too

I'd tell her tbh unless you're thinking of ever taking him back..

He’s disgusting. He’s controlling and manipulative. He wanted you to lose your friend to isolate you. She sounds strong and confident. He won’t like that ... at .... all!!!! She was a threat to him. He’s also hypocritical, creepy and disloyal. You’re well rid. Hope you’re ok

OP. HE has shown his true colours. Please don't be back here in 4/7/10/16 years saying the red flags were there but he was a "good" person. You get one life an that

To Moonie

Im going through this now. I found him on Tinder. He was messaging while i was at work.
He love bombed me too. I thought he was wonderful. Then he started disappearing making me insecure and upset. Found out he cheated on me for a year. I even took him back. Then found him back on Tinder less than two years later. I have to assume that he has always cheated.

He tried to isolate me too. From my friends and children. Don’t look back. You are still young. Im nearly 46... it’s fucking horrible

how are you doing OP