Would you sign the form

[Chasingstars88]

Okay so a little background

I've got 2 children with my ex who was a complete waste of space. But thats bye the bye.

Anyway he rarely sees the kids, it's suppose to be on a every second weekend basis full weekend and a quarter of the school holidays. Only a quarter because the kids have football and clubs ect.

Ex refuses to take them and will rarely do pick up and drop off. He doesn't provide a dime, which doesn't bother me in the slightest. I work and pay for everything. I receive tax credits and I'm sole carer really.

So basically he's useless and I practically force a relationship for the sake of the children.

I have a current partner and a child together and, well he is more of a father to them and one of them even calls him dad (his choice) he takes them to all games, events, parents evenings... You get the jist.

Anyway so my question. My ex is being kicked out of his current home for not paying rent. He lives with his partner and their daughter.

He's had three relationships with a total of 4 kids now. One he doesn't see because he can't be arsed. He's never worked and goes from woman to woman sponging.

I was his second relationship, young and stupid and fell for his charm. I got out and now me and his other ex have a relationship and so do the kids.

So back to not paying rent. He has to be out next week and is going on the council.

He has a form he wants me to fill stating he has the kids on alternative weekends and half the holidays (all of which is actually a lie) but it would mean he may get a three bedroom instead of a 2 bed. So the kids would have a place to stay while there.

Which I'm all for because I don't want them to suffer.

I have asked he sign a contract (so to speak) stating he won't let the kids down blah blah before I sign the form. Which I will type up.

But here is the thing, my partner is kicking off and reluctant to sign. He says he doesn't have them and certianly not half the holidays. He also worries it will effect our income if we say he has them 40 percent of the time. When he doesn't have them and it's not worth the risk.

Well I'm stuck because on one hand I have a man who does everything for them and we should make decisions together. Then I've got kids who would suffer if the don't have a room of their own if they stay there.

Me and my partner both work good jobs and bring the kids up. They have everything they need here.

Opinions on this please?

Op

Why on earth did you give him the choice?

And then you’re pissed off that he didn’t choose the option you wanted him to (despite what you’ve said on this bread very clearly indicating he would take the easy option).

I don’t get it. It’s his weekend. So you don’t give him an option. You say your son needs to be taken.

If he then comes back and says he can’t, then you take him (so your son doesn’t suffer).

I'm not pissed off, I knew the answer anyway. Just confirming it to myself not to sign the form.

You aren't helping your children by enabling this farce. There's a thin line between enabling and facilitation and you are firmly on the enablement side.

In the long run it's in their best interest to accept him for who he is, a feckless waster who appears to have women enabling his fecklessness at every turn. You can not make him a responsible human and pandering to his fecklessness only encourages it.

Get tough and support your children in dealing with the inevitable reality. Council housing is in short supply, better it goes to people who are in genuine need and not entitled toss pots out for their next scam.

The council wouldn't give someone a room for kids that didn't live with them as a main residence. Where on earth do you live?

Absolutely not. I’ve not RTFT and I don’t know what the form says but it might be a criminal offence to lie on it. There’s no way I’d risk that for an arse of an ex and a non-relationship with his kids. They don’t stay with him now so why would that change? He can still see them without staying there. You can’t force a relationship on him.

OP, please don't sign this form. It won't end well for you and won't magically transform your ex into a decent father.

It may affect your benefits/ child maintenance too.

I can't imagine what sort of contract you could write up to say that your ex will be a good father, but i doubt it would have any legal validity. If he breached this, it seems to me your only option would be to admit you lied on his form to get him to agree to your contract.

This won't end well.

so glad you are not signing anything OP. Why should you help this waste of space get a big house when he is not doing his share of 'parenting' anyway?
Any contract that he signed would not be worth the paper it was written on, and he would not step up in any way.