Am I overreacting about H'd behaviour?

[DancerPrancers]

DH is in an absolute twist about me eating chicken. He's a vegetarian, before we married I agreed to be one too. I ate chicken last week. He found out and isn't happy. I didn't tell him because I knew this would be his reaction but more of that later

He was clipping DS's nails because they're too long and needed doing. All well and good. DS isn't a fan of having his hands held and naturally started crying about it whilst DH was on the last nail.

I said please stop, he's upset. He said no, I've one more nail to do. All over within seconds but then he came up to DS's face in a kind of 'mock smile' and said "you're a wimp"

I said he's a small 4 month old child, wtf are you on about. He said "Well it's true" and then to smiley DS "stupid baby".

I said to DS, you're not stupid you're clever!

And H said "Yeah? If he was so clever then why's he so small?"

(DS is smallish for his age, but very healthy and happy). DH can't understand why he's so small because he's 6'3 and all the babies in his family are giants

Am I overreacting? Is my 'mummy mode' going into overdrive? I can't decide.

He's just gone to town and I feel raging. No idea why he's being this way towards DS.
He's been funny with me all morning.

I'm taken aback. He's never done a thing like this, it's so out of character. All because I've decided to eat chicken again

too tired. bring him up to eat meat*

What a weirdo, couldn’t deal with that i’m afraid, sounds like there’s aggression rumbling there

Wow...he really likes to get his own way all the time eh? If he doesn’t then he gets stroppy. I’d tread very carefully. I’d also suggest a conversation about future meat eating. If you want to eat meat then that’s your call.

Ithink a partner putting limitations on what food you can eat is weird and controlling. Setting that aside, his reaction to your 'slip' is totally out of proportion, and using the baby to punish you is effed up, and I think quite scary. His behaviour to your little one is raising lots of red flags in my mind. Like others have said, talk to your family, talk to your health visitor and listen to your instincts.

"Crap quality breast milk"? He hasn't actually ever said those words has he? He sounds like a petulant bully. Stand up to him OP and if you want to eat meat don't hide it from him like you're doing something wrong.

That is genuinely a bit chilling. This man sounds like an abuser from the examples you have given. Have a look at Lundy Bancroft's book Why does he do that?

I'm in two minds about this. Is he a vegetarian due to personal beliefs i.e. animal cruelty/religion? If so, I can understand why he was so upset about it. As far as he's concerned, you became a vegetarian and he continued his life with someone who had a similar life choice to him - something in common. However, you've now broken that. I actually know a lot of vegetarians who would be like this. I liken it a bit to people who don't drink, some people I know wouldn't ever be able to look at their OH the same if they then went and drank as if they knew this would have happened then they wouldn't have been with them to begin with. That said, eating chicken is not a big deal and I could never be a vegetarian. Why did you decide to eat meat again? Because if you know why and it's not a one off for the future then I'd discuss this with him.

Say he does hate animal cruelty and became a veg as a result, then I could understand his level of disgust, to him it could be like you're personally assisting in the cruel keep of these animals and their untimely deaths. Of course, this is dependent on whether he actually even believes this i'm just speculating.

In regards to the baby, has he ever spoken badly to it before? Is this the first time for this behaviour completely? You did mention it was out of character.

I know this is wildly unpopular here but I just don't think it's a big deal if it's a one off out of frustration. He didn't harm the child. There's posts about kids crying because they realised they have bloody hair, the baby is just being a baby and crying. I wouldn't stop cutting his nails if I had one left and he cried, it's probably more dangerous not to cut them given how often babies can scratch their faces etc. Saying those things to the baby were actually probably digs at you and he knew it just would never hurt or stay with the baby as he has no idea what's going on.

I think you should tell him you didn't like the way he spoke to the baby, that it's upset you etc. and get to why it's upset him so much.