Am I overreacting about H'd behaviour?

[DancerPrancers]

DH is in an absolute twist about me eating chicken. He's a vegetarian, before we married I agreed to be one too. I ate chicken last week. He found out and isn't happy. I didn't tell him because I knew this would be his reaction but more of that later

He was clipping DS's nails because they're too long and needed doing. All well and good. DS isn't a fan of having his hands held and naturally started crying about it whilst DH was on the last nail.

I said please stop, he's upset. He said no, I've one more nail to do. All over within seconds but then he came up to DS's face in a kind of 'mock smile' and said "you're a wimp"

I said he's a small 4 month old child, wtf are you on about. He said "Well it's true" and then to smiley DS "stupid baby".

I said to DS, you're not stupid you're clever!

And H said "Yeah? If he was so clever then why's he so small?"

(DS is smallish for his age, but very healthy and happy). DH can't understand why he's so small because he's 6'3 and all the babies in his family are giants

Am I overreacting? Is my 'mummy mode' going into overdrive? I can't decide.

He's just gone to town and I feel raging. No idea why he's being this way towards DS.
He's been funny with me all morning.

I'm taken aback. He's never done a thing like this, it's so out of character. All because I've decided to eat chicken again

This is going to sound overly dramatic but if it's SO out of character it may be down to health. Just one to watch.

Either that or he's an idiot, today at least.

Do you think you've ignored other past shit behaviour from him, but this situation finally struck a nerve? He sounds like a total dick.

He sounds fucking horrendous. I'd be really freaked out if my dh could be nasty to a baby like that, what the fuck's wrong with him? Be straight with him about the fact you're not vegetarian anymore. You're allowed to eat what you want and hiding it is giving him the impression that you aren't.

Horrible man. Have a big conversation and make sure you say what you really want to

I'm also wondering if he thinks the baby isn't his, because he's tall and the babies in his family are big. FWIW I am 5 9", my then partner 6' 4" and our baby was TINY! she's now an adult of 5' 8".

I was veggie for years. While living with me, two daughters were, one not. No problem at all.

Sorry, I take a totally different perspective from the words written here. I don't think calling a baby a wimp is anything other than a joke.

As for the OP saying she would be vegetarian... Why would you do that if you didn't actively want to be vegetarian? Oh yes, it could be a horribly abusive relationship but there is not enough evidence in the OP to believe that.

Vegetarianism is the sort of thing that implies an entire belief system. I live in Mexico and my dd's father knew and supposedly agree with me that bullfighting is cruel and disgusting. Then he took dd to a bullfight. So it turns out he had just been saying what he thought I wanted to hear.

Tell him your crap quality Brest milk would be all the better if you were allowed to eat meat if you so choose!wink

I was going to tell her to say that ...and I don't eat meat! Bit daft saying you would not eat meat if you were not going to follow it through , but plenty of vegetarians live with meat eaters. It should be down to personal choice really. I would rather live with a meat eater than a smoker!

I’m actually with your husband on continuing to cut your baby’s nails. I admit I’m too much of a wimp to do my baby’s nails so DP does it and I’d rather she cry a little out of frustration than her upset when she’s in pain from scratching herself.
It was thoughtless and horrible to make the stupid comments about your baby.
As an adult you can eat what you want but I think I’d be upset if someone agreed not to eat something then did and purposefully didn’t tell me. If you want to eat meat or you want to just eat it outside the home then have that conversation with him; he doesn’t get a choice but at least you’re being upfront.

agree with everything @katnissk has said

re: your DS nails, i used to do DD's when she was asleep.

After cutting the top of dd1's finger when cutting her nails, I would gently bite them and did so with all my babies when they were tiny. Much safer and easier.

He was being a dick but aimed at you rather than your baby as he's 4 months and wouldn't have a clue what he said (you said he was smiling at your baby whilst he said it).

Sorry OP but he sounds awful.
I think this might be the tip of the iceberg.
The fact he went mad because you ate chicken is just not OK.
You are a grown up and you can decide what you want to eat.
You eat what you want and when you want and he can fuck off with his crap response to that.
Please look at some of his other behaviours because this can't be the only thing he's done.
He sounds very controlling.
What do your friends think of him?

God he does sound awful. Just to say I'm a vegetarian and I would never feel I have the right to dictate what others ate. That is completely your decision so don't let anyone try make that for you. The only time I talk about being a vegetarian is when others ask.

And that he could talk to a baby about that is horrible!

Did he say you have Crap quality milk? . Is that since you ate the chicken?

You are not over reacting at all.

I am concerned about a few things you have said, but it sounds like he has forced you to become vegetarian. Is this the case OP? If so, this is completely controlling behaviour.

How long are you married?

What an arse!

Firstly, you’re a grown up and scam eat whatever you like!

Secondly, the way he spoke to you and your baby is simply appalling. I’d be telling him if he does it again he can pack his bags. What a horrible thing to do

Why is everyone going on about the bloody chicken? Sod the chicken! Here's a father who has been verbally cruel about a defenceless baby and a vile comment about his wife's breastmilk. I'd have the door locked and bolted when he came home and contact hv and WA! Talk about blatant red flags! This is in no way normal. OP, if you do give him another chance, use this as a massive warning and be very careful.

Re the nails - it would be daft to stop because baby got upset. However I can see others have said do it when she’s asleep so try that next time.

The other stuff is weird. I literally can’t imagine anyone even thinking that about a baby let alone saying it.

Falmer because it shows he was showing controlling tendencies right from the start.
And why would another adult get upset about someones food choice?
They are HUGE red flags!

Thanks hellsbells, I see where you're coming from. OP, I'm sorry you had to put up with this behaviour, I'm so angry and sad on your behalf. Hope you get something sorted.

Wow reading stories like this make me bloody glad I'm a single mum! Watching what you eat making a baby cry calling a baby names and criticising your breast milk?!?! Get rid he sounds a twat

Everything that NaiceBuscuits said.

Please do not minimise this, OP. Make your health visitor aware of it - and what he has said about your breastmilk.

What do YOU want to do?

So he gets upset over chickens and this causes him to be a massive twat to his own child, who is also small and defenceless?

Hypocrite.

I wonder if he thinks it's not his
and worried you will bring him up to eat milk. in a way now the baby is being nourished by animals you digested.
If you promised to be veggie and it is a HUGE deal breaker for some he may be disappointed at how things are turning out.