Finally left financially abusive husband...he's trying to maintain control, is this right?

[ReginaPhalangeismyothername]

You may remember me, I separated from my husband who was taking all our tax credits and cb and was "paying the bills" and propping up his business with it while me and my 2 dc had nothing.
We separated about 3 weeks ago and he has moved into an annex we have on the side of our house. He is claiming to have seen a solicitor who says that as he is already paying the mortgage it limits what he would have to pay me in maintenance. He is also claiming that what I have coming in money wise effects how much he should pay me. He has been desperately trying to find out what I have coming in and I have refused to tell him.
Is this right? He is also saying that any debt we both have will come out of the equity...I don't have any but he does in his name alone.

Hi there
Im a year into my separation and pending divorce. My stbxh is emotionally and financially abusive, he was fully in control of all the finances with my wages at one point going into his sole account! He worked in IT so all bills done with very little paper trail.
Go and see a solicitor asap, you may be entitled to legal aid you never know, do nothing eg dont move out of the family home until you have legal advise. I no doubt have a massive legal bill but its been totally worth it, with out my solicitor i would have nothing. When you have manipulative and controlling men you need clear, clean cut rules. Having legal knowledge gives you the ability to have that.

I have been meant to be in court regarding the finances twice but he has cancelled both times, given his way he would have it all and i would have nothing!!
Remember your dealing with an emotionally abusive man, who is loosing control over you, so he will start to play even dirtier. Dont try to play him at his game, your never win he will dig deeper than you would ever dream of. Remember your destination and remain focused and strive to simply move forward.

Really really really do not move out of the family home until you have taken legal advice. This is assuming he is not physically violent of course. Controlling men like to present things as done deals, a good solicitor is the ONLY person you should be taking advice from. Honestly, I have been there.

I agree with previous posters seek legal advice ASAP whether its a solicitor or as some have said citizens advice bureau. They can also put you in touch with solicitor's, when I went a few years ago they had solicitors who ran free sessions for 2 hours in the evening and I was in there for an hour and a half! hopefully they still do this service as its very helpful! Also keep all his texts and start keeping a record of his abuse and if he gets threatening call the police so you have proof he is abusive! Regarding legal aid you definitely need advice as now they have a big criteria to meet before its awarded.

If he pays the mortgage where you and children live then it will reduce his maintenance. Your income doesn't come in to it at all.

His HMRC income will be used to calculate how much he pays - if he is self employed it's not going to be great I'd imagine.

The money he pays to the mortgage will be taken off his annual income before calculation so if he earns 50k and pays 5k a year to the mortgage he will be assessed on 45k not 50k.

Stay where you are until you've had proper, detailed legal advice. Tailored to your situation.

CAB aren't going to be able to do much. They might have a factsheet of basics and a list of local solicitors you could go to, but they're not a substitute for solicitors with expertise in this area.

Go with the one you've had recommended to you, paying for it if necessary. It shouldn't be more than maybe £150 or £200 for an initial hour of detailed advice plus written confirmation. You may or may not be able to get a bit of free advice from a solicitor, but it's not an entitlement, not all solicitors do it and you may need more than that anyway. I appreciate that money is tight at the moment, but you can't afford not to get proper legal advice.

Also your income is irrelevant to the question of how much child maintenance he should be paying. Do not pay any attention to that.