I have a gambling problem and today is day to confront it

[Walkaboutwendy]

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to write those words. I am so ashamed to admit this but it needs to be done.

My husband knows and I'm so lucky that he is being amazing in helping me get sorted.

I've registered for gamcare counselling.

Is there anyone else out there with the same problem and on the same journey to recovery?

Please be gentle I'm feeling really bruised right now

Just checked in here as interested to see how you’re doing.

With regard to antidepressants causing you to feel foggy, I would agree. I took them for one week and immediately felt far less stressed but the feeling of being totally emotionless/numb and foggy, combined with a complete loss of sex drive shocked me. I stopped taking them after 8 days but it took weeks for my sex drive to return properly

Not suggesting for one minute you come off them as I am most certainly not a doctor, but I don’t think we realise the strength in some of the medicines we are given. I think we live in a society when these medications are handed out too readily, and in certain cases, all they do is paper over cracks in other areas without dealing with the real issues. In my case I believe I needed help with stress caused by my husband. As I said, I am not a doctor but I am aware of the seriousness of PND so my case was very different to yours. In fact there is an antidepressant which I believe is sold under the brand name Effexor, which has been linked to gambling addiction whereby patients had no history of gambling addiction before taking this drug. I know antidepressants are very necessary for many, I am just saying that there are also lots of people on them who could be helped in other ways.

The feelings of guilt are normal for the gambler but as a wife of gambler I found this very hard. It is hard for the outsider to comfort/tell the other person it isn’t their faul etc when deep down it is only natural to feel angry towards them.

Just remember one word, honesty!!!! I believe it is the only way forward for any gambler. My husband never got that, which is why he hasn’t seen his children for almost nine weeks (seen ds once) and that is their choice. Off to cancel our holiday tomorrow, goodbye £1,000 deposit! More disappointment for our children. Set up a game of dominoes and push over that first little tile and see the ripple as every one falls, that is gambling and each domino is a loved one.

Stay strong Walkaboutwendy and never ever go back. You have the control and only you can do this.

Hi springydaff

I enjoy my GA meetings and they definitely are a big part of my recovery.

At the start of my recovery it was crucial to keeping me straight, and the number of days since my last bet was something I didn't want to reset back to zero. This definitely helped as it made me stop and ask myself 'Is it worth it' before making a bet.

Nowadays I still go, nearly every week, for 2 main reasons - I want to help other gamblers, and I don't want to start gambling again - I'm not saying that I would start gambling if I stopped going to GA but it's a risk I'm not willing to take.

The meeting I go to is small and relatively relaxed, a consequence of living somewhere rural. I used to go to the London meetings which were larger, more formal and quite different in tone but just as rewarding. I moved to the smaller local meeting when it started to offer support and never left.

One thing - I've been to other meetings and really not enjoyed them. I never go again. I would rather travel further for a meeting I enjoyed than suffer a meeting that wasn't for me.

Thanks Scorpio, I was asking the op of she goes to the GA meetings.

So, wendy, what do you think of going to GA?

As Scorpio attests, it's an essential part of recovery for most addicts. I go to a 12 step meeting and there is no way I could manage my addiction, be abstinent, without it.

Hi all

Thanks for your suggestions I will look into the 12 step programme.

I've had my first session with Gamcare which was really good. I'm now on the waiting list for group therapy. It was really good to chat things through with them. They were very helpful and non judgemental.

Apparently they have seen a huge rise in mothers with young kids getting addicted to gambling via smartphones.

I've had no urges recently and I'm doing okay. Next step is to get to the doctors.to get my medication reviewed.

Doing one day at a time at the moment.

Good luck lass you can do it.

Gambling is much easier and so pervasive these days.

Its great to hear that things are going well Wendy - you're doing all the right things. Keep going and stay strong during the difficult days. One day at a time.

Hi all

Just checking in to let you know I'm still on track. I've had a few temptations but I've managed to not slip.

I start group support next week which will be interesting. I'm looking forward to being with people who are in the same boat.

So mothers day was my last day so it's been 27 days.

@Walkaboutwendy

that is so good to hear ! well done and good luck with the group support.

I racked up 7k playing online poker. It was pre-kids, looking back i wasn't in a good place at the time but i didn't recognize it. Technically, I'm not bad at poker, but emotionally i suck. So could lose hundreds in a night. But i had some big wins in large tournaments, i was always chasing those wins again.

Dh inherited £10 and it almost all went on paying off my credit cards. He was lovely and kind and supportive, but told me i could never play poker again.

So i just didn't. Not once. It was really easy. What really helped was that i was pregnant with dc1 at time and there were lots of changes in my life. We moved, i gave up a job which i really hated, i became a mum. All these changes really helped. They filled the space that had been filled with poker dreams.

I have read a lot recently about adult adhd and that has really struck a cord with me. It's a bit of a cliche, but i use exercise to fill my head nowadays. I always need to have some crazy plan or dream in my head, and exercise does this really well. I joke that my hobby is building fantasy exercise plans - the actual exercise is the price i have to pay to keep doing this hobby

the last couple of weeks I haven't been able to exercise (boring reasons) and I've binge-spent on house stuff because I've become obsessed with decorating projects. Its money we don't have and i know i wouldn't have had them huge impulses if I'd been drawing up running schedules.

Good luck. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes, its what we do after we recognize our mistakes that defines our character.

That should read £10k obvs!

well done on admitting it I know that can be a really hard part. My boyfriend had a gambling addiction he goes to GA every week and says that really helps him. Every little step you take is a little victory good luck.

Thanks everyone. Posting on here really helps me focus. Still no slips!

I've come off the meds which has had a huge impact on how I feel. I no longer feel numb.

@timshortfforthalia that's really interesting about adhd. I'll look into that.

Hi Walk,

Been there, done that. Including Gamcare counselling. Feel free to ask me anything, have you self excluded? If not, that's the first actual real step.

Just wanted to remind you that there are lots of people here who are happy to support you. I for one and incredibly proud of what you've managed to achieve, both in staying away from gambling AND coming off your meds.

am, not and

Way to go girl! A zillion internet randoms are high fiving for you. Be proud.

Aww thanks @scorpio32 and @Kualabear

Coming off meds was pretty horrible. I was on sertraline for a year and I didn't realise how much it really impacted me as a person. It's catch 22 tbh, at the time you need it but long term I think looking back it does more harm than good. People around me are noticing a big difference.

Now taking up strength training and considering st John's wort supplements.

Keeping on keeping on

With regards to Johns wort, it can interfere with other medications including the contraceptive pill..... Just in case you weren't aware

So you've posted a link to gambling sites on a gambling addiction thread.

Nice move dickhead.

Whether you're a real person or not @wdcbhvhgavhgxvsv I've reported you because fuck me, you've just done the equivalent of chopping up a line for someone struggling with coke addiction. Hopefully because you weren't clever enough to avoid a zombie thread and I've reported it no harms been done but wow. Nice one mate.

Looks like this one is attracting the spammers. As it's a couple of years old, we've closed it to comments now.